12 signs you’re in a relationship with a genuinely high quality person, according to psychology

Generally speaking, a high-quality person is someone who embodies a combination of traits and behaviors that reflect integrity, kindness, and emotional maturity.

They don’t set out to hurt others, they are focused on growth, and they want a partner who brings out the best in them.

In other words, they’re quite a catch.

Does your significant other fit the bill?

Here are 12 signs you’re in a relationship with a genuinely high-quality person, according to psychology.

The more statements apply to your sweetie, the luckier you are.

1) They have goals

Goal-setting is an essential tool for self-motivation, psychologists say.

It gives you a direction to move towards and improves your chances of seeing your dreams come true.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, someone who drifts aimlessly through life is prone to lose sight of the bigger picture and waste away their potential.

I’m not suggesting that your partner should have a rigid blueprint for how their life should look in 5, 10, or 15 years.

But if they’re actively working towards accomplishing any type of personal or professional goals, they have a sense of purpose.

That’s always a good sign.

2) They have strong values

If you want to have happy relationships, you need to live a life of integrity, according to psychology.  

Following this logic, if you’re dating someone who has strong values (honesty, respect, generosity, courage, authenticity, and so on), you’ve probably stumbled upon a high-quality individual.

Not only that but your relationship is more likely to be rewarding in the long run.

A person with strong values acts by their principles, even when faced with difficult choices or temptations.

This consistency means they won’t stray from what they believe in, making them trustworthy.

Turns out, you have excellent taste.

3) They are humble

I once dated a guy who was arrogant to the point of believing he was superior to everyone else.

He loved to be the center of attention and didn’t much care about what I might require to be happy. He acted like he was the overlords’ gift to humanity, so our whole “partnership” was mostly about him.

I was young and naïve back then so I prioritized his wants over my needs, a bad habit I thankfully grew out of.

Now, I no longer tolerate partners who feel entitled to special treatment. I look for humility.

According to psychology, humble people are well aware of their good traits and achievements but don’t expect favors because of them.

They treat their partners as equals and see being in a relationship as being part of a team.

Doesn’t that sound like a healthy approach to romance?

4) They care about other people

Empathy is a key trait of high-quality people. It means they understand the perspectives and experiences of others, and they make an effort to put themselves in their shoes.

In short, they care about individuals outside of themselves. That includes you.

Intimate relationships are unions of not just two souls but two minds, according to psychology.

If you and your partner disagree on something, it’s crucial they validate your emotions and see things from your point of view.

Empathy helps them do that.

5) They actively listen to you

Studies found that a good listener is someone you can bounce ideas off.

Besides absorbing the information you’re communicating, they ask questions to promote discovery and make suggestions to keep the talk productive.

Being an active listener makes someone a high-quality person because it shows they’re invested in helping others clarify their thoughts and keen to support them as they do that.  

Your partner fits the description if they:

  • Create a safe space for you to express your thoughts and opinions without fear of being judged
  • Don’t immediately cut you off from venting by providing a solution 
  • Insist you clarify points they don’t understand
  • Remember details from previous conversations
  • Ask questions that help you see your problems in a different light

6) They make time for you

pic2402 12 signs you're in a relationship with a genuinely high quality person, according to psychology

If your significant other makes time for you, it’s a clear sign you’re in a relationship with a genuinely high-quality person.

According to psychology, how we manage our time defines the state of our lives and relationships.

A high-quality person will be there for the people they care about because they value their connections.

They understand the importance of showing up, even if your schedule is insane or you have other priorities at the moment.

And when they can’t physically be with you, they check in regularly. They show you how much you matter to them day after day.   

7) They provide encouragement

A high-quality person knows how to offer support and encouragement.

While psychologists recognize that emotional support isn’t tangible, they have tips on how to recognize that your partner is trying their best:

  • They ask you how you would prefer they provide assistance
  • They validate your experiences
  • They don’t judge you for feeling discouraged or down in the dumps
  • They focus on cheering you on rather than dispensing unsolicited advice
  • They support your solutions
  • They plan distracting activities to help you navigate pain

It’s not rocket science.

8) They are reliable

If you’re in a relationship with a high-quality person, you’ll notice that their actions match their words.

They keep promises, big or small, and they show up when they said they would. They’re loyal and dependable.  

This fosters a sense of security and confidence in the romance. You know that you can rely on them to honor their word.

According to psychology, reliability is a great predictor of a relationship’s success.

Knowing that your partner has your back makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It also proves they’re devoted to making things work. 

Hopefully, so are you.

9) They take responsibility for their actions

On a similar note, a high-quality person takes responsibility for their actions.

If they make a mistake, they don’t shift blame or victimize themselves.

If they fail at something, they try to figure out where they went wrong in order to learn something from the experience.  

If they hurt you, they apologize and make amends.

According to psychology, when both partners take accountability for their actions, they feel valued and express themselves freely.

That sounds like a healthy relationship in my book.  

10) They cultivate gratitude

Gratitude enables you to focus on the positive aspects of life, while also helping you build more meaningful relationships with others.

It’s a trait that showcases emotional intelligence and appreciation for others, making it the hallmark of a high-quality person.

One of my exes would complain about everything from minor inconveniences to work to low energy to a general lack of enthusiasm for life.

I tried to be as supportive as I could, but his constant negativity eventually began to affect me.    

My outlook on life was impacted by his gloominess, and I left some of our interactions feeling drained instead of energized.

Additionally, I never truly felt like he was grateful for having me in his life, which turned out to be a major bummer.

Gratitude contributes to a nurturing relationship dynamic.

If your partner cultivates gratitude, you’ll know that they cherish you and appreciate having you around.

11) They respect your boundaries

Everyone has boundaries about what is and isn’t acceptable.

According to psychology, stating your limits promotes mental health and lays the foundation for healthy relationships.

When you date a genuinely high-quality person, you’ll notice that they respect your boundaries no matter what.

They encourage you to go out of your comfort zone, but they never force you to do things you’re not comfortable with.

More importantly, they respect your independence and don’t try to control you.

People who have your best interest at heart rarely do.

12) They work on themselves

Finally, another big sign that you have a high-quality partner is that they have a growth mindset.

Psychology states that a growth mindset is rooted in the belief that qualities can be cultivated through effort and outside help.

Otherwise put, someone preoccupied with self-development doesn’t become complacent because “they are who they are.”

Quite the opposite. They believe they can be and do better, and they look for ways to do just that.

In the context of a romantic relationship, dating someone who is working on themselves means you can grow and evolve together.

It’s the secret sauce that helps couples last.

If you’re on the hunt for a long-term commitment, it’s imperative to find a boo who isn’t set in their ways.

As long as your significant other fits this profile, you’ve hit the jackpot.

Final thoughts

A high-quality person doesn’t mean a perfect person. 

There is no such thing.

Everyone has shortcomings.

But if your boo checks off most of the things on this list, you can breathe easy.

You found yourself a good one. 

Picture of Alexandra Plesa

Alexandra Plesa

Alexandra Pleșa is a freelance writer obsessed with television, self-development, and thriller books. Former journalist, current pop culture junkie. Follow her on Twitter: @alexandraplesa

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