13 signs you’re finally becoming the person you’re meant to be, according to psychology

Personal growth doesn’t come with a map and a detailed set of instructions. Most times we probably all feel like we’re winging it at best, and flying blind at worst. You might wonder if you’ve wandered off the path altogether.

Luckily there are certain signals you can pick up on to reassure you and confirm that you’re finally becoming the person you were meant to be.

You’ll have to pay attention though, because these signs aren’t usually truth bombs and life-altering moments. Instead, they originate from everyday mundane occurrences.

The thing we all hope for is that we’re changing for the better. To know for sure, you have to reflect on your behavior and how you feel about things.

Psychology helped me curate a list of numerous signs that you’re finally becoming the best version of yourself. Let’s explore a few of those and see if anything resonates. 

1) You know who you are

And you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Developing self-awareness is a clear indication that you’ve been asking yourself the tough questions and taking stock of where you are in life, and where you still want to go. 

When you really know yourself, it’s easier to understand what makes you tick. This self-knowledge helps you align your routine and your goals around your strengths and preferences. 

Some people go their entire lives with no idea why they do what they do and whether those things are even beneficial to them.

They just blindly follow the path that is expected of them and adhere to society’s standards.

You know the drill, establish a career, get married and have kids, and buy your first home.

But even if they achieve all of their goals, they’re still not satisfied. These poor souls still feel empty, and like something’s missing, even though they checked all the conventional boxes.   

Maybe they felt so dissatisfied despite their outward success because it wasn’t their true purpose?  

They may have fared better passing on that lucrative career, and pursuing a path feels more like a calling and less like coercion. 

On the other hand, self-aware people know exactly who they are, what their priorities include, and how their values influence their lives.

2) You’ve learned patience really is a virtue

I’ve heard it said that patient people are more likely to have a rational and focused temperament. 

Folks blessed with patience also probably make people feel relaxed and comfortable, which is a great advantage in life.

A great advantage in life I’d know nothing about. I definitely got short-changed in the patience department. 

I very much admire that trait in others, but second-hand contact is the closest I’ll ever come to experiencing that kind of saintly patience.

3) You have a sense of community

Congratulations! You’ve found your tribe! 

And more good news: Psychologists found a link between feeling like you belong and your overall physical and mental well-being.

A sense of belonging is the end result of finding your special community where you’re free to be your authentic self without worrying about being judged.

You have a loyal and supportive network of loved ones that provide you with security and encouragement whenever you need it.

You’ve found your people, your family of choice who always has your back. 

4) Personal accountability

Taking responsibility for your decisions and dealing with the consequences means you’re choosing to be proactive instead of reactive, which is a very empowering turn of events indeed.

Until you master this, the odds of you becoming the person you were meant to be are pretty grim.

But if you have acquired a genuine sense of accountability, you’ll be cool even when life throws you a curveball.

We may not be able to control everything that comes our way. What we can control is how we choose to react to it.

So, we have a far greater degree of control once we realize that we’re the architects of our own happiness.

5) You listen more and talk less 

This is definitely a feat that’s much harder than it sounds. Think about it. When someone’s openly sharing their feelings with you, it’s almost impossible to resist the urge to jump in and give advice.

Resist! Resist!

According to psychology, when people feel safe enough to be open about their feelings, their goal is to feel heard, not talked down to or patronized.

If your response is one-upping them with an even better story, being dismissive of their pain, or flat-out telling them what they should do, you’re doing it wrong.

However, if you just sit back and actively listen to your friend while asking open-ended questions and showing them empathy, you’re a good doobie.

6) You do good for the sake of good

If someone is considerate, someone they do good things without being prompted – and without expecting to get some compensation in return.

For example, do you return your shopping cart to the carriage corral in the supermarket parking lot? Most likely no one will notice whether you return it or not. 

But, if you’re like me, you’ll take the whole ten extra steps and return the cart because the world doesn’t revolve around you.


Because even though you’re aware that you won’t be rewarded in any way, you understand that it’s just the right thing to do.

7) You stop holding grudges

I have elevated grudge holding to an art form, thanks to growing up with a gaggle of great-aunts who managed to keep track of century-old beef and make it look easy. 

If someone dared cross them, they were O-U-T OUT.

I cultivated this habit for years before it simply became too exhausting. It was easier to show more compassion and accept the fact that people sometimes make mistakes.

When you finally reach a place where forgiveness and not anger is your go-to it’s a pretty great feeling. Why waste your time and energy being salty, especially if the person in question has expressed genuine remorse and apologized? 

Letting it go isn’t just for them, it’s for you too, and a clear indication that you’ve become the person you were meant to be.

8) No more people pleasing

experts at faking confidence 13 signs you're finally becoming the person you're meant to be, according to psychology

Psychological research reveals that the definitive trait of a people pleaser is that they go with everyone else’s flow. 

Once it dawns on you that you can’t please everyone, you’ll find your own flow, and be much happier for it. 

You don’t have to put your needs last to be a good person. How can you be of use to anyone else when you’re tired, frazzled, and resentful?

Nobody’s going to be mad at you for prioritizing your well-being, and if they do, they don’t deserve to be in your life anyway.

9) You have a sense of purpose 

Finding purpose in your life is way bigger than your day-to-day routine. It involves cultivating a deeper understanding of your behavior and your goals. 

Once you can grasp the ripple effect brought on by your actions you’ll understand that your life purpose contributes to something much larger than just yourself.

10) You practice gratitude

Becoming the person you’re meant to be gives you a sense of gratitude for all the good stuff in your life. 

According to psychology, gratitude has positive transformative effects on your mental health. You become adept at living in the now and appreciating life’s little gifts of joy.

It shifts your focus from what might be lacking in your life to what you have to be grateful for. 

As you learn to cultivate gratitude, you also discover how interconnected you are with the rest of the world. Being happy with what you have fosters a sense of contentment and peace of mind.

11) You’re open minded

When you become more self-aware, you realize arguing, especially with strangers, is a complete waste of energy. And I used to do way too much of that on social media until I realized what a counterproductive time-suck it was.

Not to say I don’t still speak out against injustice, but I’ve tempered my M.O. a bit. It’s not my responsibility to single-handedly save the world, and everyone on the planet has a different idea of what that would look like anyway.

An opposing viewpoint isn’t the end of the world.   

12) You’re adaptable

Even when you’re living your life with a sense of purpose, you’ll inevitably encounter challenges along the way. 

As you continue to grow as a human being, you’ll become more resilient with the ability to quickly bounce back after hardships or disappointment.

You’ve learned to just go with it, knowing you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way.

13) You’re not afraid to be your authentic self

Not surprisingly, psychological research confirms that authentic people are generally more satisfied with their lives. They also tend to enjoy higher self-esteem.

As you become more self-aware, you start to happily accept and even embrace your imperfections

Instead of seeing your flaws as problems to be solved, you understand they’re traits that make you uniquely you.

You’re not afraid to be yourself and don’t feel compelled to apologize for brazenly being who you are.

Final thoughts  

Becoming the person you’re meant to be is a meandering journey through your own psyche and reexamining how you relate to others.  

Once you’ve reached that point, a lot of life’s hardships seem to pass you by. 

Or is it that you’ve just learned to accept the bad with the good instead of fighting the inevitable?  

Picture of Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden lives in a New England forest paradise with her cats, kid, and trusty laptop. She has been writing since age 8 and is such a pack rat she can back that up with physical evidence. Music is her solace and words are her drug, so her house is strewn with records and books. Watch your step.

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