8 signs you’re emotionally mature and secure in who you are

Emotionally mature people are winning in life! Now, this is just my observation and experience, but I’m pretty sure if you’re emotionally mature, you’d agree. 

There’s something powerful about being content with who you are and not having an emotional outburst whenever things don’t go your way. 

I used to be a ticking time bomb filled with insecurities. Looking back, I realize just how much my immaturity held me back. 

Being emotionally mature and secure in who you are can help you succeed and be happier. 

So, whether you’re already this person or want to become one, below are signs that show someone is emotionally mature and confident. 

First off…

1) You’re okay with being alone.

Socializing is great, but if your happiness and well-being depend on it, you have a problem. 

Being able to enjoy your own company is necessary. And it’s a dead giveaway that you’re emotionally mature. 

Whether you spend hours alone reading a book, solo travel, or take yourself on a date every once in a while, it’s a sign that you’re a little more secure in who you are than others. 

A key aspect of emotional maturity and confidence is recognizing that your happiness depends on you. You need to be content even when you’re alone. 

Most people who need to hang out with crowds all the time are also seeking validation and attention. 

It’s important to appreciate your own company and do things you like, whether people are there to see it or not. It shows you trust your own judgment.

When you’re okay with being alone, you also self-reflect more. 

And some might call you a loner, a loser, or simply not understand your desire to be on your own sometimes, but if you’re really emotionally mature and secure,…

2) You don’t care what others think of you.

So, whatever they call you doesn’t matter anyway. Of all the signs of emotional maturity, this one is the most liberating!

When you genuinely don’t care what anyone thinks of you, you live on your terms

Some people spend their whole life trying to please others. Not so long ago, I used to be one of them. 

I was always worried about what my parents thought of me. Whenever we visited them, my husband would comment that I was different.

And I knew it was true.

I wouldn’t tell or laugh at the jokes I usually do, I’d skip drinking what I enjoy, and I’d even find myself lying to them at times. 

Constantly seeking approval ruined me. I had to stop caring about what they thought of me and my choices so I could live authentically. 

But hey – I’m not saying you should disregard everything others say or feel about you and what you do. 

Some feedback can be exactly what you need to grow and become the best, most real version of yourself. You should value input that helps you improve.

Not caring what others think is a powerful mindset to have. It shows that you’re secure in who you are and don’t allow negativity to define your self-worth or dictate your actions.

Ultimately, external influence can’t sway you because…

3) You’re confident!

classy woman behaviors 8 signs you're emotionally mature and secure in who you are

The first thing that comes to mind when you hear this word might be ‘outgoing’ or ‘crowd pleaser,’ but that’s far from what it means. 

Confident people aren’t always the loudest or bubbliest in the room. In fact, many people who act this way actually have really low self-esteem. 

When you’re secure in who you are and emotionally mature, confidence looks a little more like this:

  • You believe you can navigate through life’s ups and downs. 
  • You inspire those around you. 
  • You embrace and learn from failures.
  • Your presence is strong, and your body language is open.
  • You’re comfortable expressing your opinions while respecting those of others. 

Confidence makes you resilient, which is why you can face challenges without an emotional outburst. It’s also why…

4) You can set and respect boundaries.

Being able to set and respect boundaries has a lot to do with emotional maturity and how secure you are. 

If you can set healthy personal and professional boundaries, it means you can recognize your own needs and limits. So, if you can…

  • Say “no” without feeling guilty
  • Prioritize your time, energy, and resources
  • Decline opportunities that compromise your boundaries

… you’re more secure than you might think!

Setting boundaries can feel scary. You might worry about how it’ll make other people feel or if you’re missing out on life-changing opportunities because of it. 

But what if I told you that setting boundaries is the best way to stay on track of your dreams?

When I started job searching, my biggest boundary was not working on weekends. I wanted two days a week to recharge, focus on myself, and spend time doing what I really loved. 

I had to scroll past many job opening posts, but I kept at it. And eventually found something that worked for me. 

I firmly believe that if I didn’t stick to that boundary and started working on weekends, I wouldn’t have had the energy or time to pursue my dream job. 

If you can set boundaries and also respect those of others, you’re doing something most people can’t. 

But hold on, I get it. 

Sticking to boundaries isn’t always easy. We all break them sometimes. How you act after doing this is what’s equally important. 

If you’re really emotionally mature and secure in who you are…

5) You hold yourself accountable. 

Whether it’s for disrespecting someone else’s boundary or failing yourself. Taking responsibility is a huge sign of emotional maturity. 

It shows you have integrity and a willingness to learn from the experience. 

Truth is, no one is perfect. We all mess up. But a lot of people refuse to admit when they’re the problem. 

It mainly comes down to a fear of bruising their own ego. Some people simply can’t admit they’re wrong because it will shatter their reality. 

When you’re confident in who you are, you know mistakes don’t define you. You understand that everyone makes them, and blaming others will never help you grow. 

6) You always try to see both sides of an argument. 

how to thrive under pressure 8 signs you're emotionally mature and secure in who you are

I love arguing with people. My parents always said I’d make a good lawyer one day. Discussions and debates fuel me. 

But there’s one thing I hate when engaging in these with most people: they cannot see both sides of an argument. 

It’s a sign of emotional immaturity, and I see no point in stating my opinion on a matter when someone can’t think about it for two seconds before bombarding me with theirs. 

Asking genuine questions to understand multiple perspectives is fine. But having an attitude of “I’m right, and you’re wrong” doesn’t cut it. 

If you can do any of these, you’re able to approach arguments with emotional maturity:

  1. You enter conversations to pursue the truth and achieve a mutual understanding rather than to prove your point. 
  2. You try to figure out someone’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences to find common ground despite disagreements. 
  3. You respect diverse perspectives and are tolerant toward those who differ from you. 

Emotional maturity creates the desire to make informed decisions. It also helps you avoid biases and rash judgments. 

And if you’re in the midst of an argument and realize that your opinion or way of doing things is wrong,…

7) You have no problem admitting someone else is right or better at something than you. 

Being able to do this is so powerful, don’t you agree? It’s also a testament to your humility and secure self-esteem. 

Instead of feeling threatened or envious, you embrace opportunities to learn from others. This mindset cultivates nothing but growth!

The thing is…

Seeing others as inspiration and motivation, or simply rethinking your opinion after hearing theirs, doesn’t diminish your skills or thoughts on a subject. 

Everyone has their own way of seeing and doing things, and it’s honestly refreshing! I would never survive in a conversation where I wasn’t challenged. 

If you’re emotionally mature, you’ll know that your ability to learn from others is what moves you forward. That’s also why…

8) You always listen to what others have to say. 

Now, you might think I already mentioned this, but hear me out:

There’s something really valuable that you can get from listening to what other people say. Want to know what it is?


When people know that you’re open to their thoughts, they’re less afraid to actually express them. 

And when they’re comfortable expressing their real feelings, they can give you constructive feedback that will help you improve. 

Truth is, without criticism, you can’t grow

And how you handle it speaks volumes about your emotional maturity and confidence level. 

I know some people spew negativity without wanting to help and setting boundaries with these people doesn’t make you immature. 

But when you can listen to what others say without seeing everything as an attack, you’ve reached a new level of emotional maturity

And remember:

An emotional outburst here or there doesn’t make you immature or insecure. We all lose our cool, and sometimes things trigger us. 

I get that.

How you move from there is what determines your true level of maturity. Always keep that in mind and look ahead!

Natasha Combrink

Natasha Combrink

Nats is a writer who loves creating content for purposeful brands. She enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and diving down rabbit holes. After rediscovering life, she wants to help others live to their full potential. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.