5 signs you’re developing into a more confident person, according to psychology

Confidence, most often, isn’t something that we’re born with; it’s something we develop. It’s a process, a journey that takes time, and, like any journey, it has its own signs and milestones. 

However, recognizing these signs isn’t always easy.

With this in mind, today, we will explore five psychology-backed signs that you are indeed becoming more confident. 

Let’s get to it. 

1) You no longer fret over what other people are doing

Have you noticed a change in where you focus your attention? 

A big sign that your confidence is growing is that you have started caring less about keeping up with everyone else’s highlights. 

Think about it—social media, especially places like Instagram and Facebook, are often just a parade of everyone’s best moments. With constant exposure to such highlight reels, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling behind, right? 

Well, it’s made me feel that way, at least, and it seems experts would agree. 

Amy Morin, a well-known psychotherapist, for instance, has noted how this kind of comparison can stir up envy and really knock your self-esteem.

Clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson has also noted how important it is to compare ourselves to ourselves rather than comparing ourselves to others. Peterson dedicated an entire chapter to this in his international bestseller, 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote To Chaos

The point is the switch to looking at your own progress rather than how you stack up next to someone else is a huge sign of growing confidence. 

2) You’re comfortable saying ‘No’

When we lack confidence, we’ll often do almost anything to keep others happy. Think back: When you were lacking in confidence, how often did you agree to things you didn’t want to do because you were afraid someone would think you weren’t good enough?

Becoming more confident, on the other hand, often means more comfort with saying “no”. This small word packs a huge punch in the arena of self-esteem and personal growth. 

As noted by therapist John Kim, self-esteem is about “knowing and embracing who you truly are… being grounded in your own values, beliefs, and desires and living authentically according to them.”

And to live according to our own values and desires means saying “no,” quite a lot, in fact. 

If you find yourself more frequently turning down requests or opportunities that don’t align with your goals, it’s a clear sign that your confidence is strengthening. 

3) You have been stepping out of your comfort zone more and more

Have you found yourself trying new things, engaging in activities that once intimidated you, or simply being more open to unfamiliar experiences?

Good for you. Another sure sign that your confidence is on the rise is your increasing willingness to step out of your comfort zone. 

As the renowned self-development writer Dale Carnegie famously said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” 

This principle is timeless and has been echoed by modern psychology experts. For instance, psychotherapist Amy Morin encourages facing your fears directly as a way to build resilience and self-assurance.

Similarly, clinical social worker Lena Suarez-Angelino has noted that stepping beyond our usual boundaries is crucial for personal growth.

Each step outside your comfort zone is not just a new experience; it’s a testament to your growing belief in your own capabilities.

4) You no longer beat yourself up for being less than perfect

Picture this: You’ve prepared a presentation for weeks, ensuring every detail is perfect. But during the delivery, you stumble over a few words and miss a key point. 

Do you beat yourself up over it? If not, good for you.

As you develop into a more confident person, you’ll likely notice a more forgiving approach to your own mistakes and shortcomings. This doesn’t mean lowering your standards but rather understanding and accepting that “No one is perfect.”

You see, as widely acknowledged by experts such as those at Psychology Today, perfectionism is rooted in low self-esteem and a desire to avoid failure. 

On the other hand, as put by Kendra Cherry, a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, people with high self-esteem see their ” overall strengths and weaknesses and accept them.”

They recognize their strengths and weaknesses and accept them as part of being human.

This balanced perspective is crucial—it’s about seeing personal growth as a continuous journey rather than a destination of perfection.

If you find yourself moving away from the trap of perfectionism and instead focusing on using your strengths to your advantage while addressing your weaknesses in constructive ways, it’s a strong indication that your confidence is on the rise. 

5) You aren’t afraid of failure, or at least, you are less afraid of it

Last but certainly not least, another robust sign that you’re developing into a more confident person is your evolving relationship with failure. 

It’s not that confident people never experience fear of failure; rather, they manage to see it in a different light. They don’t necessarily seek out failure either, but they recognize the invaluable lessons and growth that can come from these moments.

They know that, as noted by Dr. Allison E McWilliams, there’s a lot more to learn from our failures than our successes. This understanding can fundamentally change how you approach challenges. 

Do you find yourself facing setbacks with a sense of curiosity and viewing them as opportunities to learn and grow rather than as threats to your self-worth?

Kudos to you, it suggests a significant leap in self-confidence. 

The bottom line 

Like any significant journey, the path to becoming a more self-confident individual is marked by various milestones—some that challenge us deeply. 

If you recognize these signs in yourself, well done. You’re probably on the right track to more and more confidence, and it’s important to celebrate these small victories.

Keep pushing forward, keep learning, and most importantly, keep believing in yourself. 

 

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Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Ideapod! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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