9 signs you’re dealing with someone who secretly dislikes you

We’ve all been there, pondering over whether someone truly likes us or not. 

But sometimes, people are good at hiding their true feelings and it can be hard to tell if they genuinely like you or if they’re just being polite.

Luckily, there are often subtle signs that can give away someone’s true intentions.

In this article, we’ll look at 9 signs that might indicate that someone secretly dislikes you:

1) They’re rarely the first to initiate

One of the most telling signs that someone might not be your biggest fan is their reluctance to initiate contact.

Here’s the thing – humans are social creatures. When we like someone, we typically want to engage with them, whether that’s by starting a conversation, inviting them to hang out, or sending a friendly text.

However, when someone secretly dislikes you, they’ll often avoid reaching out first.

You might find that you’re always the one to start a conversation or make plans. This can be a subtle sign of their true feelings.

Don’t forget, everyone’s different and some people are naturally more reserved. But if this behavior is consistent and coupled with other signs on this list, it could be a red flag.

2) Their body language is off

Body language can be a powerful indicator of someone’s true feelings, even when their words are saying something different.

I once had a coworker who was always polite and friendly in conversation, but something about her body language seemed off.

She would turn her body away from me, avoid eye contact, and rarely smiled genuinely when we interacted.

Despite her pleasant words, her body language told a different story.

It was clear that she wasn’t really comfortable around me and didn’t enjoy our conversations.

But it took a while for me to realize that, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re now having a lightbulb moment about someone in your own life. 

3) They tend to mirror others, but not you

Mirroring is a subconscious act where people mimic the body language, speech patterns, or attitudes of someone they feel connected to or like.

It helps to establish rapport and build a sense of connection between individuals.

So if someone doesn’t mirror your actions or speech patterns during a conversation, it might indicate that they don’t feel connected to you, or worse, they may secretly dislike you.

This is an easy one to test:

The next time you see the person you have suspicions about, just watch how they act around you. Do they drink their drink when you take a sip of yours? Do they smile when you smile, or cross their arms when you cross yours?

If they don’t, it’s another sign to watch out for.

4) They seem disinterested in your stories

Everyone loves a good listener, right?

When someone is genuinely interested in you, they’ll show enthusiasm for your stories and experiences.

On the other hand, if you notice that a person consistently shows a lack of interest in what you have to say, it might be a signal that they secretly dislike you.

They might constantly check their phone, interrupt with unrelated topics, or fail to ask follow-up questions about your anecdotes.

But I’ll be honest, this could just be them having a bad day, or a lot on their mind. The key is whether they act disinterested ALL the time around you. 

5) They’re quick to criticize

Criticism is a part of life.

We all make mistakes and can benefit from constructive feedback.

But there’s a difference between someone who’s trying to help you improve and someone who’s simply being critical.

If someone secretly dislikes you, they might be quick to point out your faults and rarely recognize your accomplishments.

They may even seem to take pleasure in highlighting your mistakes or making you feel less competent.

This kind of constant, unconstructive criticism doesn’t help you grow; it’s simply to make them feel superior. It’s a clear sign of disrespect and could indicate that they have negative feelings towards you.

6) You feel uneasy around them

things you dont realize youre doing that make people uncomfortable around you 9 signs you’re dealing with someone who secretly dislikes you

Sometimes, our gut instincts can be our best guide.

You might not be able to put your finger on why, but you just feel uncomfortable or uneasy around a certain person.

This can often be because our subconscious picks up on subtle signs of dislike that our conscious mind might miss. It’s like an internal warning system indicating that something isn’t quite right.

The point is, your feelings and intuition are important.

If you consistently feel uneasy or stressed around someone, it’s worth considering why. It could be a sign that they secretly dislike you and you’re picking up on this energy. 

Trust your feelings and don’t ignore them.

They’re often trying to tell you something important.

7) They’re dismissive of your feelings

I remember a time when I shared a concern with a friend, hoping for understanding and support.

Instead, she brushed off my feelings as if they were insignificant. In fact, I clearly remember her saying:

“What’s the big deal? There are worse things in the world.”

This hurt because it felt like my emotions were being invalidated.

When someone is dismissive of your feelings, it shows a lack of empathy and respect. If someone consistently downplays or ignores your emotions, it could be a sign that they secretly dislike you.

The truth is, we all deserve to be heard and understood, especially by those we consider friends. If someone can’t offer you that basic courtesy, it might be time to reconsider their place in your life.

8) They avoid you in social situations

Social situations can reveal a lot about how someone feels about you.

If someone secretly dislikes you, they might go out of their way to avoid spending time with you in a group setting.

They might choose a seat far from you, engage in conversations with everyone but you, or even leave the room when you enter.

This kind of behavior could indicate that they’re not comfortable around you or they’d rather not interact with you.

And hey, I get it. It can be hurtful to realize that someone is avoiding you.

But understanding this sign can help you make sense of their behavior and guide your future interactions with them. You need to respect yourself and avoid wasting time and energy on people who don’t like you or make an effort. 

9) They’re not genuinely happy about your successes

And finally, one of the truest signs of friendship and respect is being able to feel genuinely happy for each other’s successes.

When we like someone, we naturally celebrate their achievements and share in their joy.

So if someone downplays your achievements or even seems disappointed by your good news, it’s not a good sign. 

It’s important to remember that not everyone will like us, and that’s okay.

It’s a part of life.

What matters is how we respond to it, how we treat others, and how we let it affect our self-esteem.

My advice is to surround yourself with people who DO care about you and appreciate you for who you are. Don’t waste time on those who don’t, it’s their loss at the end of the day!

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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