8 signs you’re dealing with a deeply selfish person, according to psychology

We’ve all met someone who seems to only think about their own needs, right? It’s like they’re stuck in their own bubble. If they yell, they’re frustrated. If they pout, they’re upset.

Easy enough, right? But, let’s be honest here, understanding the human psyche isn’t always a walk in the park.

Psychology offers some insight here, and I’m about to share that with you.

So, let’s dive a little deeper into the signs that you’re dealing with a deeply selfish person.

1) They’re always the center of their own universe

Isn’t it fascinating how some people can turn any conversation into a monologue about themselves?

You might start by sharing something about your day, and bam! Suddenly, you’re knee-deep in a story about them, their experiences, and their feelings.

It’s like they have this internal compass that always points back to themselves, regardless of the topic at hand.

And when they’re not talking? They’re probably not listening either. Instead, they’re likely busy planning their next self-centered comment or story.

In psychology, this is a classic sign of a deeply selfish person. They don’t just live in their own world; they’re the sun, moon, and stars of that world.

Talk about being self-absorbed, huh?

2) They hardly acknowledge your needs

Ever had one of those friends that seem to forget you have feelings too? Let me tell you a story.

I once had a friend—we’ll call her Jane. Jane and I were close, or at least I thought we were. But over time, I began to notice something off about our friendship.

Whenever we made plans, it was always about what Jane wanted to do. And if I ever brought up something I was excited about, it was brushed aside or ignored.

It was like my needs and desires were invisible to her. One time, I remember being really sick and needing some support. Guess what? Jane was too busy with her own stuff and didn’t even check up on me.

That’s when I realized: Jane was a textbook example of a deeply selfish person. To her, it was all about “me, myself, and I”, with no room for anyone else’s needs.

Sound familiar? That’s because neglecting others’ needs is a big red flag that you’re dealing with someone who’s deeply selfish.

3) They rarely apologize

You know what’s interesting about deeply selfish people? They’re masters of avoiding responsibility. When something goes wrong, they’re the last ones to own up to it.

Apologizing? That’s just not in their vocabulary. And if by some miracle they do apologize, it’s usually a hollow one—more about getting off the hook rather than expressing genuine remorse.

Here’s a little nugget for you: selfish individuals are more likely to blame others for their mistakes and less likely to apologize.

So if you find yourself dealing with someone who always shifts the blame and can’t muster a sincere apology, you might just be dealing with a deeply selfish person.

4) They take more than they give

In any relationship, be it friendship or romantic, there’s an unspoken rule of give and take. It’s a balance that keeps things fair and healthy.

But with deeply selfish people? That balance is thrown out of the window.

They’re always on the receiving end, happily taking your time, energy, and resources. But when it’s time to give back? Suddenly, they’re nowhere to be found or have a million excuses up their sleeves.

This imbalance isn’t just frustrating; it’s a clear sign that you’re dealing with someone who values their own needs above everyone else’s. And let’s be real here—that’s not exactly the foundation for a healthy relationship, is it?

5) They lack empathy for others

man uses these phrases in a conversation he is lacking in sincerity 8 signs you’re dealing with a deeply selfish person, according to psychology

Now, here’s something I’ve noticed in my dealings with deeply selfish people: they have a serious lack of empathy.

It’s not just that they don’t understand what you’re going through; it’s that they don’t even try to put themselves in your shoes. I mean, how can they? They’re too busy focusing on their own world.

I remember trying to share my struggles with a selfish person once, hoping for some understanding or at least an empathetic ear. Instead, all I got was a blank stare and a quick change of topic back to their own concerns.

That experience taught me something important: if a person can’t show empathy towards others, it’s a massive red flag indicating deep-seated selfishness.

6) They can be incredibly charming

Here’s a twist for you. Deeply selfish people aren’t always the grumpy, standoffish types that we often picture. 

In fact, they can be incredibly charming and charismatic.

They know exactly what to say and how to act to win people over. They’re masters at the art of persuasion, using their charm to manipulate situations to their advantage.

But don’t let the charm fool you. It’s just another tool they use to keep the spotlight on themselves and their needs.

Remember, it’s not about the charm—it’s about whether that charm is used genuinely or as a facade to mask selfish intent.

7) They’re resistant to change

Change is a part of life, right? We all grow, evolve, and adapt as circumstances require. But for deeply selfish people, change is often a tough pill to swallow.

Why? Because change requires compromise, understanding, and sometimes putting others’ needs before their own. And let’s face it, that’s not exactly their strong suit.

Remember, flexibility isn’t just essential for personal growth—it’s crucial for healthy relationships too. 

If someone can’t bend a little for the sake of others, it’s a telling sign of their self-centered nature.

8) They disregard boundaries

If there’s one thing you should know about deeply selfish people, it’s this—they have a blatant disregard for boundaries.

Whether it’s your time, your space, or your feelings, they often overstep the mark without a second thought. Why? Because in their world, their needs and desires take precedence over everything else.

So if you’re dealing with someone who constantly invades your personal space, dismisses your feelings, or monopolizes your time without considering how it affects you, it’s a glaring sign of deep-seated selfishness.

Final reflections

If you’ve journeyed with me this far, you’ve come to understand that deeply selfish people can be challenging to deal with.

But recognizing these signs isn’t just about labeling or judging others. It’s about understanding the dynamics at play around us and learning how to navigate them effectively.

Remember, all humans are flawed, and selfishness to an extent is a part of human nature. 

But when it crosses over into deep-seated selfishness, it can strain relationships and create an unhealthy environment.

Knowing these signs isn’t meant to make you cynical or suspicious of everyone around you. Rather, it’s about empowering you to set boundaries, protect your emotional well-being, and foster healthier relationships.

After all, as the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” So here’s to learning, changing, and growing for the better.

Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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