10 signs you’re dating the wrong woman (that are easy to miss)

Sometimes love is blind. And when you’re deep in it, your decisions can get clouded. So if you have doubts about the woman you’re dating, it’s worthwhile to dig a little deeper.

It’s your life after all, and it’s only fair you choose to be with someone who fulfills your needs and desires as a human being— because to be honest, you shouldn’t settle for anything less. 

Do you suspect you’re dating the wrong woman? Well, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I’ll walk you through ten signs that she isn’t for you. Let’s get it! 

1) She’s not supportive

Remember that behind every good man is a good woman. In other words, for many successful men, there were wives or girlfriends supporting and encouraging them along the way.

So if she’s dismissive of your aspirations or seems to constantly be preoccupied when you discuss them, then maybe you consider should rethinking things. 

Let’s say you open up about your long-term personal and financial goals, instead of showing excitement for you, she might be too busy scrolling through Instagram, barely giving you the light of day. 

Healthy relationships are all about give and take. When it’s one-sided, she’s just not giving her fair share. This leads me to my next point…  

2) She’s not interested in your life

This is a big one. If your woman can talk about herself for hours but when it’s your turn to share, she gives a half-assed response clearly indicating her disinterest, then take this as a red flag.  Chances are, she ain’t the one. 

Or maybe she always makes you hang out with her friends and family. But when you ask her to accompany you to get-togethers, she often comes up with an excuse. 

If she always seems to feel “tired” when you ask her to do things with you, then something definitely isn’t adding up. 

This is a sign that she isn’t invested enough in the relationship to put the work in. In this case, your options are simple: either set things straight or move on. 

3) She’s not trustworthy

If you’ve caught her lying before, take that seriously. It doesn’t even have to be a big lie—if she has the habit of stretching the truth, that’s certainly not a good thing. 

Honesty is a huge deal. You want to be able to let your guard down and have full faith in your woman.

If she has given you a reason not to trust her, then it can cause plenty of stress and heartache. Is this really what you want in a relationship? 

Think about it. If you were an employer, would you hire someone who lied about their resume credentials? 

You wouldn’t, simply because that person could be a potential risk to your company—the same rules apply to dating and relationships. 

4) She’s disrespectful

Here’s the thing: if she doesn’t respect you, then something needs to change. 

Maybe she constantly puts you down or makes jokes at your expense in front of family and friends. Or maybe she never respects your boundaries. 

In turn, you get upset and grow distant from her. When you voice your opinion, she says you’re making a big deal out of nothing, and that she was just engaging in playful, lighthearted joking. 

Okay, maybe she gets a pass once or twice. But once this becomes a pattern, then it’s apparent that she doesn’t respect you or your feelings. 

I hate to break it to you, but at this point, it might be time to cut your losses and move on.

5) She’s emotionally unstable

Now if she’s having mental health problems, it’s understandable that you want to help her through it. That makes you an exceptional partner. But if her behavior is affecting your own well-being then things get tricky. 

My ex-girlfriend was diagnosed with several mental disorders. She was also heavily medicated. For years I empathized with her. I knew it wasn’t her fault and I wanted to help her to the best of my abilities. 

It took me a while to realize I was almost always walking on eggshells. She was consistently angry at me. She would throw regular temper tantrums too. I had basically turned into a full-time scapegoat. 

And it seemed whatever I did, I was either wrong or incompetent–a sentiment that eventually chipped away at my self-worth

I had to decide: either continue to help her and further damage my self-esteem or walk away. I chose myself and though I wish her well, I have no regrets. 

6) She’s too clingy or controlling

When you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you own your partner. To make things work, you have to embrace each other’s individuality and autonomy as human beings. 

This is the treatment you should get from a good woman–the opposite of being overly controlling or possessive. 

When she becomes controlling–i.e. not letting you spend time with friends or constantly barraging you with your texts when you’re apart–then maybe she’s not for you. Nobody wants an insecure or excessively needy partner. 

Talk to her about it if you feel it’s something that can be fixed. But if not, you know what to do.

7) She doesn’t contribute anything to the household

Real talk: when you decide to be with a woman, you want a co-pilot, not a passenger. If she is more a liability than anything, it’s time you put your foot down. 

Maybe she’s having a rough time financially, so it’s understandable that you take care of the bills. But you have to eventually decide what’s sustainable and what isn’t. 

Have an honest talk about dividing the expenses, and if she doesn’t have any plans of contributing then you might want to find someone who will. 

This extends to household chores too. If you’re doing all the work and she’s just sitting back and relaxing, then you’re practically a glorified butler. 

Make sure there’s balance. From my experience, when there’s a double standard expect resentment and hostility to follow. 

Compromise is one of the core foundations of a functioning relationship. This brings me to my next point…

8) She’s not interested in compromise

If you want to make it work, make sure you’re both willing to compromise and work through issues with respectful and mature communication. 

I once dated a woman who was not particularly fond of compromise. I remember she’d often make me watch her favorite YouTube vloggers for hours at a time. 

Occasionally, I’d suggest we watch something we’d both enjoy equally, but she wouldn’t budge. It didn’t interest her and she was vehement about not finding a middle ground. 

I began to realize that I wasn’t a priority. When I would attempt to point out the discrepancy, she would shut down instantly.

She would refuse to communicate and instead became defensive or angry. Needless to say, our romance was short-lived. 

9) She has completely different interests 

I know that they say opposites attract so this sign in itself doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker. But when paired with other shortcomings, not having anything in common can be the icing on the cake. 

Call me shallow, but having common interests like film, music, books, or hobbies goes a long way. Once you have shared activities that you both enjoy, you have an opportunity to bond and get more intimate.

If you love literature but your woman doesn’t own any books for instance, perhaps you should consider alternative options. 

10) She doesn’t make you happy

Look, at the end of the day, trust your gut. If she simply doesn’t bring you joy then it’s simple: you’re not that into her. 

Maybe it’s nobody’s fault, maybe you’re just incompatible. Human emotions are complex, and when there’s no chemistry then you both deserve better. 

So do yourself and your woman a favor and end things before you get in too deep (in which case, things will just get more complicated.)

You have one life to live, take control of it with your happiness and well-being as top priorities. 

Final thoughts 

In conclusion, I’d like to say that life is short. You don’t want to waste time by making the wrong decisions. And believe me when I say it: one of the most important choices you’ll ever make is deciding who to be with. 

One wrong move and you could be in for a turbulent and lengthy emotional rollercoaster ride. So decide wisely–you ultimately want someone that regularly makes you happy and inspires you to be your best self! 

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Justin Brown

I'm Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod. I've overseen the evolution of Ideapod from a social network for ideas into a publishing and education platform with millions of monthly readers and multiple products helping people to think critically, see issues clearly and engage with the world responsibly.

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