Being an introvert is easy to understand. As is being an extrovert.
But what about when you don’t fit into either of those categories?
When you feel like sometimes you’re an introvert and sometimes you’re an extrovert?
Well, that probably means you’re an introverted extrovert.
Sometimes known as an ambivert, you have traits of introversion and extroversion.
And either personality type can take the wheel from one day to the next.
Think you might be a mix of these two personalities? Keep reading to learn the top 10 signs you’re an introverted extrovert – and what it means for your relationships.
1) Social events both drain and energize you
Sometimes, social events drain you. Sometimes, they energize you and give you a new lease of motivation.
When you’re an introvert, your biggest trait is that your social battery goes down when socializing.
But when you’re an extrovert, the opposite happens. It recharges you and gives you a boost. And being alone feels draining.
So when you’re an introverted extrovert, you feel a bit of both. Sometimes, being out with people feels draining.
But other times, it lifts your spirit and makes you want to keep socializing.
This makes things somewhat confusing in your relationships. People never know what “social mood” you’re going to be in (and neither do you, by the way).
Making plans is sometimes exciting for you, and other times it feels like a chore.
And it can be hard for the people closest to you to understand why you’re sometimes in the mood to go out – and sometimes you aren’t.
2) You like time together and time apart
Because you sometimes gain energy from being around people, and you sometimes don’t, time alone and time apart are both important things for you.
Spending 24/7 with someone isn’t healthy anyway (according to many, many people on Reddit). But it’s especially bad when you’re an introverted extrovert.
For you, time together is crucial to meet your socialization needs.
But time alone is just as essential. It gives you space to think, recharge, plan, and just be with yourself for a while.
But your romantic partners may struggle with this. They won’t always know when you need your space and when you need time together.
It’s not something you can plan for either. But provided you communicate it well (and are in a relationship with someone good for you), it’ll be way easier.
3) You gain energy from certain conversations (and not others)
Usually, when you’re a 100% extrovert, any social occasion feels good to you.
It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to or what you’re talking about, you’ll feel stimulated. That’s because extroverts can talk to anyone about anything and gain energy from the conversation.
With introverted extroverts, sure, they can talk to everyone. But it won’t always feel good to them.
Topics that interest them will be inspiring and motivating. But they’ll struggle with topics that they have little interest in.
Since they prefer to get deep and meaningful, talking about things that spark their soul makes them feel alive.
And anything that isn’t that won’t bring their extrovert side to the surface.
This can be somewhat difficult when meeting new people. Because the topic isn’t good for you, it can make you seem like you dislike the person, rather than the conversation.
And when you’re chatting away to one person, and being almost silent with another, people will notice – and they’ll probably take it personally.
4) You like socializing but dislike attention
Extroverts adore being the center of attention. Not because they’re attention-seeking, but because they gain so much from socializing.
Introverts are the complete opposite. While they enjoy being out and about (when they’re in the mood for it), they absolutely despise being the focal point in a crowd.
Guess what that means for introverted extroverts? You guessed it – you love to socialize, but hate it when all the attention is on you.
For you, you’ll happily attend a party or even host one – chatting to all the guests, cracking jokes, and being the life and soul of the party.
But if the music stopped and everyone looked at you to give a “Thank you” speech, you’d want the ground to swallow you whole.
Because it’s just not something you enjoy. And most people won’t get why you don’t want to stand up and speak when you’re so full of beans elsewhere in your life.
5) You’re often mistaken for an extrovert
I have an introverted friend who used to call me an extrovert. It was because I can be very social and talk to anyone when I’m in “social mode”.
When I first told her I’m actually a massive introvert, she was shocked.
It was much later that I realized I’m an introverted extrovert.
Too much time with people and I’m drained. But too much time alone and I’m also drained.
Which can make it difficult with some friends.
My introverted friends understand. Because they completely get it when you tell them you “Can’t make it tonight because you’re running on empty”.
Or when you want to leave the party early because you’ve (in the nicest way possible) had enough of everyone and everything.
But my extroverted friends? Not so much.
Because they see me as being just like them, they don’t get it and sometimes even feel offended when I say I don’t have the energy for certain events.
It’s a foreign feeling for them – and they think I’m being rude.
6) You’re chatty but not always very open
When you’re an extrovert, you’re generally very open. You’ll happily talk about your feelings and experiences – even with new people.
When you’re an introvert, you’re usually a little more cautious. You don’t like attention very much, so you prefer to confide in just a small selection of people.
Because you’re a mix of the two, some people in your life can find it confusing.
They may spill your “secrets” or things about you to a crowd – not knowing (or fully understanding) why you might not like that.
7) You socialize better in certain environments
An extrovert can happily socialize in any environment. But introverted extroverts are particularly sensitive to their surroundings.
In certain situations, they can socialize like it’s the easiest thing to do. It might be when they’re out with family or at a gathering with friends.
But a romantic meal for two? Or even a large dinner party on a long, rectangular table? They might struggle to keep any conversation going.
Sometimes, your friends think you’re upset or uncomfortable. But in reality, you’re not – you’re just not as social in one environment compared to another.
8) You need to recharge before social events
As an introverted extrovert, you don’t just need time after social events to recharge – you need time before them, too!
When you’re an extrovert, you gravitate towards being busy.
Skipping chores to spend the weekend as busy as possible is a great idea for you. It’ll give you the energy you need to get all your chores done in the week instead.
But when you’re introverted, you don’t think the same way. You need some downtime, and being busy all weekend won’t do you any favors for the week ahead.
It’ll lead to you feeling exhausted and like you want to stay in every night just relaxing – rather than doing the things you need to do.
When you’re a mix of the two, you tend to manage your days so you have time before and after events to recharge.
If you have plans booked in for Saturday and Sunday, you’ll probably spend Friday night all alone – psyching yourself up to spend a weekend around others.
And some of your friends won’t get why or how you can be so up for plans on one night – and not the other.
9) You can come across as very flirty
You’re introverted extroverted nature makes you charming and easy to talk to. But it also makes you quiet at times.
For other people, this can make it seem like you’re totally into them.
They find you unique, charismatic, and introspective – which is a rare set of qualities to find in people.
They often mistake your charm for flirting. And they misinterpret your quieter periods as shyness (due to fancying the pants off them!).
10) You’re a slow burner
When you’re an introverted extrovert, you’ll often hear people say:
“I didn’t like you when I first met you”.
Or:
“I thought you didn’t like me when we first met”.
And the reason for that is because you’re often a bit of a slow burner. Your mixed nature gives off mixed signals.
People sometimes don’t think you like them even when you do. It’s just the surroundings you’re in and/or your dwindling energy levels.
Likewise, it can come across like you don’t like them – especially if you’re fully engaged in a conversation and chatty with one person – and not with them.
When really, it’s nothing to do with them. It’s just the topic or it’s early on in the night (when the battery is still going strong).
And once people get to know you, they understand you way more than when you first met.
Final thoughts
The modern world is definitely an extrovert’s haven.
Socializing, networking, and even working a corporate job requires you to be energized and switched on at all times.
For an introvert, this is a bit of a nightmare. But for an introverted extrovert, it’s pretty OK – provided you know how to manage things.
Because once you know what your personality type is, you can understand your behavior, boundaries, and needs so much better.
