We’d all like to say:
“Yes, you can count on me.”
But is it true?
Those who are truly dependable and loyal are a rare breed, and they tend to under-promise and over-deliver. They come through when nobody else does, and even when the stakes are high they don’t back down on their word.
Are you one of them?
If the following signs describe you, then the answer is a resounding yes.
1) You follow through on what you say
When you make a promise and say you’ll do something, you do it.
If you can’t do it because of an emergency or circumstance outside of your control, then you give everyone involved advance notice.
In your career, in your personal life, and in every area, your word is your bond.
This ends up boosting your confidence and making it easier to know what to decide, since you know you mean it when you say you’ll do something or not.
“When we have an identity of a person who keeps their word, making decisions will become easier. We’ll know what to say yes or no to.”
2) You talk openly to those close to you
You are a clear communicator and a straight shooter.
You don’t hide how you feel or try to mislead others, and when you’re confused about something or someone, you open up about that.
You don’t “over-share” by any means, but you are willing to talk about how you’re feeling and be very real with others if and when they ask.
You’re not trying to live up to some perfect image, you’re just being yourself.
Which brings me to the next point:
3) You don’t put on any airs
You’re authentic and genuine to a fault.
This can even be in some areas where you have flaws and know that you don’t quite measure up.
But you’re not interested in pretending to be somebody you’re not or feel better than anyone else. You’re just you:
You expect other people to show you their true self as well.
4) You’re caring and check in on others
You care about those close to you and check in on whether they’re doing OK.
You are able to stand in the shoes of other people and engage in perspective-taking where you really imagine what it would be like to be them.
Even if you haven’t been in their situation, you imagine being in it and are prompted to reach out and be there for those who are struggling.
“The psychological hallmark of empathy is perspective-taking, the capacity to imagine or take the perspective of another person,” writes Harvard Medical School Psychologist Dr. Susan David, Ph. D.
“When you are empathizing, you imagine how someone may feel even though you can’t experience their exact emotion.”
5) You respect boundaries and give people space
At times, folks don’t need more attention so much as they need time and space to themselves.
Whether this is in a friendship, relationship or any other area, you’re able to respect boundaries without arguing or pressuring.
When somebody needs their space you give it to them, and you expect the same in return.
This shows that you have a secure attachment style and are not overly anxious or avoidant in terms of how you give and receive affection.
6) You help friends and family in need
You are a person who others can rely on when they’re in need.
You look after yourself and don’t stretch yourself too thin, but you do care about others and go out of your way to help them.
Sometimes this is just something small which barely takes any extra effort:
But you have that thought about wanting to brighten up somebody’s day, so you go the extra step to doing something for them to show you care.
“Most people love a surprise, especially when that surprise is something that helps them or makes their life a little bit easier, if just for a minute,” notes Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D.
7) You act according to your moral code
You don’t switch up your moral code for convenience or for reward.
You’re not for sale.
You don’t just stay true to other people, you stay true to your own guiding principles.
It’s always been that way, and even when you step astray you go back to your guiding lights sooner or later.
Living by a consistent moral code is just the way you roll. Anything less wouldn’t be worth your time.
8) You keep secrets and privileged information to yourself
You keep secrets to yourself and don’t betray the trust of those who confide in you.
This includes with happy information or surprises:
You’re not a blabbermouth.
Even though it might be funny, fun or exciting to spread some news around, you keep it secret and prove yourself to be a trustworthy and exemplary friend, coworker and partner.
As psychologist and associate professor of business at Columbia University Dr Michael Slepian observes:
“Some of life’s most joyful occasions begin as secrets, including secret marriage proposals, pregnancies, surprise gifts and exciting news. When we feel that our actions arise from our own desires rather than external pressures, we also feel ready to take on whatever lies ahead.”
9) You own up to your mistakes and make amends
You’re not perfect, but you own up to your mistakes. You also do your best to make up for them if you can.
When you make a mistake or let down somebody’s trust in any way, you ensure that it won’t happen again.
You’re not a repeat offender, and you greatly value the trust and confidence others have in you and do your best to live up to that.
You learn from your mistakes.
10) You’re true to your partner in romantic relationships
When you’re in a committed relationship, you’re in.
You don’t make excuses for infidelity in yourself or your partner, and you open up about how you feel to them, including during the bad times. If that leads to a breakup, so be it.
You won’t lie or hide what’s going on and cheat behind your partner’s back, nor will you be a fairweather partner. You’re with them for real or not at all. Period.
“Loyalty is about staying committed to your partner, even during the most challenging times,” writes Saya Des Marais.
“It’s about not betraying your partner’s confidence, and not abandoning them during the ups and downs of your relationship.”
11) You forgive others when they fall short or make mistakes
When others fall short or let you down, you do your best to give them the benefit of the doubt.
You don’t have unlimited patience or forgiveness. Repeated mistakes will eventually cause you to cut ties.
But you do your best to be in somebody else’s shoes and understand that they have their weaknesses just as you do.
If they are doing their best to change and improve, you’re with them.
12) You have a desire to keep improving
When it comes to your own journey, you’re always learning and improving.
Doing so brings you a feeling of joy and accomplishment.
You love the experience of waking up in the morning and growing into a fuller individual who’s more engaged with the world and other people.
Life is short, and spending it improving and growing in self-awareness and emotional intelligence is definitely worth using your time on.
