10 signs you’re an emotionally intelligent person (even if you don’t feel like it)

Are you someone who finds it difficult to express your emotions? Do you find yourself struggling to understand the feelings of others? 

If so, you may think that you lack emotional intelligence. But the truth is, emotional intelligence is not just about being in touch with your feelings or having the ability to empathize with others. It goes far beyond that. 

In fact, there are several signs that you possess emotional intelligence, even if you don’t realize it! Do you want to know if you’re emotionally intelligent? 

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the ten signs that indicate you are emotionally intelligent, regardless of how you may feel. So, let’s dive in!

1) You’re self-aware

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. People who have this are better able to regulate their emotions and respond to situations in a way that is appropriate and effective. 

I struggled a lot with this and decided to do something about it. The decision to work on myself came from waking up one day, feeling lost and confused. 

I had been going through the motions of life without really understanding who I was or what I wanted. It was as if I was living on autopilot, just letting life happen to me.

The more I explored, the more I realized how much I had been holding myself back. So, if you are able to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your behavior, you are likely self-aware.

2) You’re empathetic

Of course, the counterpart of self-awareness is empathy. People who are empathetic are able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective. 

This is a person who listens more and pays attention to the needs of those around them. They know that empathy is the key to building stronger, more meaningful relationships with others.

If you are able to listen to others and understand how they are feeling, you are likely to be emotionally intelligent

You may not always be able to fix their problems, but you are able to offer support and show that you care.

3) You have good communication skills

Something that goes together with empathy is good communication skills. Such is key to building and maintaining healthy relationships. 

People with good communication skills are able to express themselves clearly and effectively. They’re able to listen actively and respond in a way that is appropriate to the situation.

I used to struggle with communicating effectively with my boyfriend. We would argue, misunderstand each other, and often end up feeling frustrated and disconnected. 

But, through the years, he learned to express himself clearly and respectfully and to truly hear my perspective without getting defensive. 

Now, we’re able to have open and honest conversations, and it has truly been transformative!

4) You’re curious about the people around you

things people with high social intelligence never do 10 signs you’re an emotionally intelligent person (even if you don’t feel like it)

And with good communication skills comes a genuine interest in others and their interests. Ask yourself: do you get curious about the people around you? 

People who have high emotional intelligence are naturally curious since they’re able to empathize with others.

They’re drawn to people’s lives and are genuinely invested to know what makes them tick. 

Of course, in building healthy and meaningful relationships, a certain level of curiosity is essential. 

5) You’re adaptable

Another trait is being adaptable to anything life throws at you. These people are able to adjust to changing situations and make the best of them. 

I used to be someone who struggled with change. I liked things to stay the same and found it difficult to adapt to new situations. 

But then, I realized that life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and that being adaptable was essential for success and happiness.

I started to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone, to try new things, and to embrace change with an open mind. 

If you’re able to adapt quickly, you are likely to be showing emotional intelligence. You may not always feel like you have control over everything…

But if you’re able to stay calm and think creatively, you can be ahead of the game!

6) You’re able to handle criticism

And if someone is adaptable, then criticisms would be seen as opportunities for growth and not personal attacks. 

Criticism can be difficult to hear, but people who are able to handle it are better able to learn from their mistakes and improve. They are able to listen to feedback without becoming defensive and are willing to make changes when necessary.

I have a friend who used to take criticism very personally. Any feedback, no matter how constructive, would leave him feeling defensive and insecure. 

But then he made a conscious effort to listen to feedback with an open mind, to ask for clarification when necessary, and to take responsibility for his mistakes. 

As a result, he grew tremendously as a person. 

With experiences like this, you may not always feel like you are being treated fairly, but if you are able to listen to feedback and make changes, you are opening yourself up to more possibilities.

7) You have the ability to influence other people

And when you’re able to handle criticisms, you gain the respect of other people. With that, you’ll get the ability to influence them.

Ask yourself: Do you have the ability to influence other people’s thoughts and decisions? Do people listen to you? 

Emotionally intelligent people are able to influence others because they’re able to approach situations with empathy and understanding, and they’re able to adjust their behavior accordingly

They’re able to “read the room,” and they know how to react in a way that’s appropriate and helpful. All of these skills combine to make emotionally intelligent people very effective communicators and leaders.

8) You have control over your thoughts and actions

daily practices to be whole lot happier 10 signs you’re an emotionally intelligent person (even if you don’t feel like it)

Along with respect and influence from others, they also have the gift of self-regulation. 

Emotionally intelligent people are able to tap into coping mechanisms that help them control and manage their emotions better than most. 

This might include techniques like mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. These strategies allow them to stay calm and centered, even in difficult situations.

By self-regulating, they’re able to avoid knee-jerk reactions and instead respond in a thoughtful and deliberate way.

So, if you’re the type of person who can calm yourself despite the intense anger or rage you may feel, then this may be a sign that you are an emotionally intelligent person.

9) You are a good judge of character

Ninth on the list has something to do with a person’s principles and values… This is because people who are emotionally intelligent are often excellent judges of character. 

This means you can easily read and understand what other people are going through because you’re able to pick up on subtle emotional cues and signals that others might miss. 

It’s like a superpower since you get a better sense of a person’s intentions and motivations. 

You’re less likely to be swayed by first impressions or snap judgments. Instead, you’re able to take the time to get to know someone and assess their character based on their actions and behaviors over time.

10) You’re able to inspire and motivate others

And if you found yourself nodding through most – if not all – of the qualities I listed so far, then the last sign you must know is your ability to inspire and motivate!

This is because you have the ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level. But then your next question might be: how are you able to do it?

One of the key ways is leading by example. Your own positive attitude, resilience, and commitment to personal growth serve as a model for others to follow. 

You’re able to stay optimistic and hopeful even in the face of challenges, and that inspires others to do the same.

Because you’re able to empathize with others and understand their perspectives, you’re able to tailor your approach to motivate them in a way that resonates with them personally. 

You recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and you’re able to provide the support and encouragement they need to succeed.

And to that, I say: Keep up the great work!

Final thoughts

Congratulations! After reading through the 10 signs of emotional intelligence, it’s clear that you possess many of these qualities, even if you don’t always feel like an emotionally intelligent person. 

But don’t stop there: Remember that emotional intelligence is a skill that can always be improved upon. With dedication and effort, you can become an even more emotionally intelligent person. The world needs more people like you!

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.