A lot of people who are genuinely kinder than most don’t realize that they are.
I think it’s because they don’t care to be the kindest person – that isn’t their goal. They’re just kind because they can be.
It takes a lot more strength to be kinder than most and we should give where credit’s due.
Here are 10 signs you’re a kinder person than you give yourself credit for.
1) You have a considerate inner dialogue.
Do you have a clear conscience?
Perhaps because your inner dialogue reminds you to be more compassionate?
I find that people who are truly kind are kind to others on the outside but the inside as well. And if you can relate, you might not fully appreciate how admirable this is.
A lot of people tend to hide their negative thoughts, even from themselves by avoiding being more mindful.
But how you respond to negativity starts within you.
And how you cultivate healthier thought patterns can make life feel a bit more enjoyable in general.
2) You are always looking for ways to become a better person.
Some people have a growth mindset when it comes to their finances or career.
Some have at it in regards to their confidence and sense of self.
But your focus is on how you can cultivate more compassion. For yourself and others.
It’s a journey for sure, because it deals with themes surrounding what self-love means. Which is a Pandora’s Box of its own where there’s no concrete answer!
Or what boundaries look like – what you are responsible for and what not.
Committing yourself to finding a balance not only for yourself and others is a full-time job that not everyone is willing to do.
But you do it because you understand the value of believing in the power of compassion.
3) You want to help others grow in this way.
I think what marks a kind person isn’t their ability to be perfectly kind, but their ability to believe in the greater good.
Which means you’re willing to change for the greater good. And you know that if you can do it, so can others.
It’s important to manage your expectations for others. But if self-compassion has taught you anything, you know that everyone could benefit from loving themselves more.
And that makes you patient as people experience their own journeys.
Not everyone cares about this kind of growth nor do they have the capacity to take interest in other people’s growth.
Celebrate your ability to celebrate others today.
4) You anticipate people’s needs.
Not on purpose. Or maybe sometimes it’s on purpose.
But usually, it’s an intuitive knowing because you are in-tune with how people feel best nurtured.
If you’ve been able to show yourself how to stay disciplined while you nurture yourself as you would a child, you do so for others the same way.
Like allowing their experience to unfold on their own but maybe offering some small gestures to make it more comfortable in times of discomfort.
So just as you’re able to give tangible assistance, you’re able to anticipate when people need space.
To know when people need space and give it is your way of saying “I trust you to find your own solutions.”
5) You make an effort to maintain the peace.
Similar to how you can anticipate people’s needs, you probably have strong social intelligence.
No one should feel like they have to keep the peace and it’s best when that’s a group effort.
But this is more about being mindful about how certain social habits can make people more self-conscious. It’s about not doing things that aren’t necessary if it’s not going to add to the peace.
Like avoiding gossip, and not treating people like they are characters in a sitcom.
Some people might say that everyone gossips and what not, but you most likely don’t care.
You’d rather use your words to uplift people.
6) You know the power of your words.
How you speak to others can make or break the relationship and you know that very well.
If you spend the extra time to communicate clearly and intentionally, you’re a lot kinder than you give yourself credit for.
Again, it’s all about your desire to create more space for good to exist in the world and your commitment to it.
You might not think it’s that big of a deal every time you compliment someone. But just know that it’s those compliments that can light up someone’s bad day.
Maybe even for a week, and they remember it every time they need a little bit of positivity.
7) You look out for people that might be overlooked.
You help people who may need it without needing to ask.
And like I mentioned, you don’t think too hard about why you do!
This can stem from your understanding that the world should be built upon equity as well as equity.
The world is built on uneven foundations where some people have more privilege than others. For reasons like uncontrollable circumstances or certain systems that devalue some humans systemically.
Your compassion tells you that there is nothing separating you from ending up like someone that some people may deem as undesirable.
And your acknowledgement of this makes you wired to look out for the “underdogs” or people who don’t have the same privileges as you.
This part requires practical research into some of humanity’s darkest moments. Which to you feels like the dutiful thing to do.
But I’d also like to add that it’s the kinder than usual thing to do to not shy away from the truth. Even if it’s ugly.
8) You maintain your integrity no matter what.
There’s a certain misconception that people who are truly kind lack a backbone. But I think that’s where we need to separate being kind from being nice.
And integrity is the thick line between the two.
No matter the challenge, this line is what keeps you from valuing ignorance over awareness. No one ever got anything done and kept it done by remaining ignorant.
This means you aren’t afraid to call out behavior that is rooted in ignorance, hate or marginalization.
Because your kindness is not without direction or agenda.
And they stay kind even if you have to rock the boat a little bit.
9) You offer fair feedback.
A lot of people don’t realize that criticism or feedback requires both positive and negative components.
What’s the point of telling someone what they did wrong if you don’t tell them what they should do more of?
You may not realize that this is a rare thing you do because it feels like common sense. But a lot of people don’t realize that it’s not just kind to be positive, it’s kind to be balanced.
This also means that you stay emotionally detached when you give feedback. Which allows you to be nuanced.
Some people might give a restaurant 1 star because of 1 mistake that ruined their entire experience.
Because they expected perfection and now want to express how they felt about the disappointment rather than the mistake.
But you’d rather give 3 stars that expresses your disappointments but also keeps in mind what you did appreciate.
Which is a more realistic expression of your experience.
10) You’re nice to strangers.
Always remember stranger danger!
But aside from being too friendly without precautions, I’m talking about you not having a huge difference between the way you speak to a friend versus someone you just met.
You know everyone deserves respect and that it doesn’t cost an arm to show it.
I also find that when you are comfortable with yourself, it can make you more open to small-scale social interactions.
Like having a magical yet casual interaction with a cashier. You don’t have to be besties with everyone, but that doesn’t mean you should speak to them like they’re a job.
If the way you treat people doesn’t require them to be someone special to you, that’s a huge sign that you’re able to view people positively in a general sense.
And connect with them solely because they’re human.
I think more than wanting to be good, it’s about wanting to connect.
And you can’t do that unless you show up authentically.
In a world where you’re rewarded for being “the best,” it’s rare to find people that just want to understand others.
So if you find someone like that, give them a pat on the back on behalf of the entire world. Where would we be without them?
And if you’re that person, know that your kindness is contagious.