Most of us recognize a high-quality person when we meet one. You know the type of person who just seems solid from the offset.
Instinctively, you know you can trust them to deliver or be there when needed.
It’s a little bit strange to use the term “high-quality” when referring to people — of course, all people are equal. But what I’m talking about isn’t based on race, orientation, or demographic. Rather, I’m pointing to the interior qualities that make them attractive as friends or partners.
When we have “high-quality” people in our lives, we feel supported and when things hit the fan, we know the difference between low-impact people and people who really make a positive difference.
But what exactly makes someone a high-quality person? I’ve been thinking about it carefully and have compiled a list of characteristics I think make someone high quality.
Up first — being there when you’re needed.
1) You’re there when you’re needed
We’ve all had that experience where we’re talking to someone about a project or an upcoming task and they promise us the world.
“No problem, I’ll definitely help you. Just give me a call and I’ll be there.”
When you call — surprise, surprise. They don’t answer. If we’re being honest here — I’ve even done the same thing a time or two. It happens. And as time goes by, I try harder and harder to be someone people can rely on.
Let’s face it. Talk is cheap — and anyone can talk big.
Some people make promises more freely than others without regard for whether they’ll ever keep the promise. Others don’t.
High-quality people are those you can rely on to be there, even if something spontaneous happens. It comes from a deep love they have and a dutifulness they uphold for helping the people they love.
In psychological terms, dutifulness is called “conscientiousness”. It’s one of the Big Five personality dimensions and it’s one of the biggest predictors of success and longevity.
It’s not always easy to be like highly conscientious people and be there to help people through hard times. That’s why not everyone does it.
But people have their own problems, right? Who’s to judge?
2) You don’t judge others’ faults
Being judgemental comes from a lack of understanding. When people down-talk or excessively criticize others, it stems from something deeper.
On the one hand, it can be a projection of their own self-esteem struggles. They need to put other people down to make themselves feel elevated.
It can also come from ignorance — not understanding the full scope of a person’s life. Everything in life has a cause. Not one single thing in the physical universe happens without something causing it. And people are the same.
When you really understand a person, you have a deeper understanding of why they do things.
Some people lie, and it might come from an inner misalignment they have — and struggle with.
Other people might steal, and it might stem from growing up in poverty.
When you understand why people do things, it’s more difficult to judge them and it’s easy to take a compassionate attitude.
People of high quality look deeply into other people’s behavior and refrain from judging them.
Personally, I try to keep not being judgemental as a life value.
3) You have strong values — and follow them!
When people have strong values (and stick to them), it’s easier to predict how they’ll behave in particular situations. That’s a good thing.
For those of us who were lucky enough to have values instilled in us from childhood, we can always tell which path to take in moral situations.
Not everyone has a solid center of moral values, though. Some people prioritize people-pleasing instead of adhering to what they know to be right.
A few signs you have strong values include:
- Easily being able to make decisions
- Stepping up when you see someone being mistreated
- Doing what’s right even though it puts you under fire
- Not following the crowd just because it’s the easy thing to do
Developing values takes a certain level of intelligence. You have to know why those values are there in the first place and analyze them.
Do you know what’s strongly linked to intelligence? Curiosity.
4) You’re curious
High-value people tend to know a lot about a diverse range of different things. This is usually because they have an intrinsically curious mind.
You’ll also notice that highly curious people tend to be creative.
Why?
Well, because they’re constantly taking in new information, they have more raw materials to deal with. You can think of it in terms of colors. The more colors you have on your palette, the more interesting your paintings will be.
If you’re a curious person, you probably do the following things:
- Enjoy learning about the history of places you visit
- Always find something to entertain you
- Ask a lot of questions when you meet new people
Asking questions about other people isn’t just a sign of innate curiosity, it also shows you respect the other person and their life experience. Respect is another sign of high-value people.
5) You respect other people
You might think respecting other people is a universal characteristic that people share. But it’s not always genuine.
People are natural psychologists and it’s often easy enough to tell when someone’s really interested in you or just paying you lip service.
Signs a person truly respects you include:
- They listen intently when you speak
- They’re honest with you
- They remember important details about you
- They don’t push you to cross your personal boundaries
Respect isn’t random — it comes from a deeper place of empathy.
6) You’re high in empathy
Empathy is the driving force for kindness, charity, and goodwill. It’s the fuel behind all good works — or most, at least.
Empathy is strongly linked to prosocial behavior.
What’s prosocial behavior?
Examples include:
- Helping out in communal spaces
- Giving to charity
- Volunteering time and resources without reward
- Caring for people, animals, and the environment
High-value people can think and act outside the narrow framework of self. They see the world as a network of which they are only a small part.
Instead of always seeking selfish gain, they derive joy from being kind.
7) You derive joy from kindness
Finding happiness in the happiness of others is a rare and beautiful quality that sets high-quality people apart. These people don’t just perform acts of kindness as a duty or for social recognition; they do it because it genuinely brings them joy.
It might manifest as:
- Helping a neighbor
- Volunteering for a cause
- Paying a compliment
- Offering a listening ear
Whatever it is, high-value people find profound satisfaction in the act of giving.
The beauty of this trait lies in its ripple effect; one small act of kindness often inspires others, creating a wave of positivity that can transform communities.
8) You don’t gossip
Gossip can be tempting, offering the allure of insider knowledge and the momentary thrill of sharing secrets. However, high-quality people resist this deceitful temptation.
They recognize the harm gossiping can do to relationships, reputations, and communities. They understand the power words have to heal or to hurt, to build up or to break down.
Not participating in gossip is a sign of inner integrity and the age old principle of treating others as you’d like to be treated.
It’s not always the easiest path — avoiding gossip requires discipline and a commitment to higher principles of interaction. However, the reward is a cleaner conscience and personal integrity.
Talking about people behind their backs is straight up deceitful — the opposite of being high value.
9) You don’t lie
People who lie a lot often use the excuse that “everybody lies.”
But it’s not true. You don’t have to lie and not everyone does it.
It may not always be easy to tell the truth, but what’s the point in not being your authentic self?
This is something I personally try to stick to even when it’s extremely tough. Especially in relationships, I find myself being honest to a fault.
My truth might not always be what the other person wants to hear. But in my opinion, if it isn’t the truth, it isn’t worth the breath to say it.
It doesn’t mean you have to be mean or hurtful. Honesty shouldn’t be wielded as a weapon but offered gently and respectfully, with consideration for others’ feelings and circumstances.
Being honest all the time might not win you popularity contests, but it will help you build deep and long-lasting relationships.
Last thoughts
We all strive to be high-value people but sometimes the roadmap isn’t so clear. It helps to know where to target our efforts.
Hopefully, my list of characteristics that make a person high value helps you to pick them out from the crowd and offers you a blueprint for how to become the best and most authentic version of yourself.
