When we think ‘introvert’, we often think mistakenly as shy and awkward individuals who forgo socialization and squirrel themselves away from the world out of fear of what lies outside their front door.
Unfortunately, that’s a widespread and common misconception.
Introverts tend to be very capable of holding engaging conversations and spending time with the (few) people they truly appreciate.
They simply enjoy their own company and are at peace within their homes.
As far as ‘bad’ introverts are concerned, this is often when socializing causes you true fear and leads you to recluse and forego interactions out of anxiousness or a lack of self-worth.
Inherently, a ‘bad’ introvert doesn’t really exist.
Exhibiting these anxious skills just means you need to do a little self-work to improve on the areas which hold you back.
You can start by learning about these 8 signs of introverts who are comfortable and confident in their demeanour:
1) You enjoy spending time alone
Going to the cinema by yourself? Dinner date for one? Solo-traveling excursion?
These might seem like daunting prospects for even the most extroverted amongst us.
Who would want to dine alone?
Isn’t it a bit…awkward?
Who do you talk to?
Won’t people think you’ve been stood up?
Introverts who are comfortable with themselves are also very content with taking themselves out and about.
When not found within the comforts of their own home, they’re more than happy to spend time alone going on adventures or day trips.
After all, the best company is your own company.
2) You enjoy observing and watching the world around you
If people watching or getting lost in a beautiful sunset or lush forest is one of your favorite things to do, you’re likely at peace with your introversion.
Whilst you might not be the center of attention or the first to speak up and voice your thoughts, you thoroughly enjoy observing and learning from the world around you.
You often notice little details that others miss; whether minor emotional changes in people around you or striking architecture that those deep in conversation with one another miss whilst strolling around.
3) People feel comfortable in your presence
And if you do get the pleasure of being in the presence of a self-aware and peaceful introvert, you’re in for a treat.
Owing to their reserved nature, they’re unlikely to come across as brash or boastful.
Instead, people feel at ease in your warm yet reserved nature.
Harsh criticism or gossip isn’t something that comfortable introverts choose to partake in.
Comfortable with themselves, they also provide a safe space for others to show up as their authentic selves without fear of being deemed weird or uncanny for any quirky habits or mannerisms.
4) You’re a great listener
Those in your company will be blessed with your ability to listen full heartedly without interjections or early judgements.
Introverts often have developed active listening skills.
They want to avoid being the center of attention so will hand others the limelight; giving them the full chance to shine.
Plus, owing to their attentive observation skills, you might often not even have to convey what you’re feeling.
Introverts are often one step ahead in being able to detect when something is amiss and will notice any changes in your emotions before you even voice them.
5) You’re kind and empathetic
Whilst introverts often have a limited social battery, they use it to lift up and benefit those around them.
The more anxious subcategory of introverts waste far more social battery on attempting to combat their anxiety by being nice to literally anyone, given half a chance.
Here comes the distinction between nice and kind; nice means to often act in a way that comes across as pleasant (think people-pleasing) to benefit and win the favor of other people.
Think small-talk, exaggerated compliments, or forcing yourself into fake chit-chat to try and assimilate yourself with the outside world in an attempt to win people over.
Kindness, on the other hand, is a far more genuine form of concern and empathy towards others.
As a more authentic form of behavior, it is far less draining than fake-niceness.
Thus, the social battery stays intact, and you can focus your energy on lifting up those around you out of genuine concern and a desire to help instead of the need to win social accolades.
6) Your actions speak louder than words
Many of us talk tall things but never actually follow through with them.
They might not be so candid and open in sharing their feelings, but they’ll express them to their confidants in quiet and subtle ways.
And when they do want to show how much they appreciate you, this might not be in a gushy and demonstrative way.
You might wake up to your favorite breakfast freshly prepared or a thoughtful gift lying around the house.
And no, it’s not the house elves.
It’s just the introvert-way of showing quiet appreciation and love.
The same goes for appreciating others.
Whilst they might run into your arms screaming at the airport to welcome you home, or squeal and trill over a gift you’ve given them, they will convey their thanks in quiet and considerate ways.
These might often be mistaken for a lack of appreciation but knowing an introvert well, you can be sure that they’re deeply grateful for the time and effort you put into thinking about them.
7) You’re independent
Much in the same way as you enjoy spending time alone and are always up for a solo-trip, you’re also independent.
Relying on other people, whether romantic partners or friends or anyone else, is not your style.
You’re probably very adept at getting things done by yourself (building IKEA furniture or fixing a broken pipe is a job you’re very ready to tackle on your own).
Neither do you feel a need to cling on to toxic relationships to benefit your wellbeing or sense of self.
Whilst you might enjoy the joys a partner or friend brings to your life, you’re also aware that you can function very well on your own and don’t need constant company nor presence in your life.
8) You’re self-aware
All these introverted qualities we’ve covered aren’t news to you.
You know that you enjoy your own company, that you can immerse yourself in nature or people watching and have a grand old time, and that you don’t need outside relationships to function.
They’re not seeking to change themselves or force themselves into a cocoon to emerge as a social butterfly.
That’s just not on the agenda.
A big part of being confident in your introversion is embracing it as one of your key characteristics.
You’re happy with who you are and who you present yourself as, and whilst you’re keen to continue to grow and develop as a person, a complete personality 180 isn’t on your to do list.
Am I a good introvert?
Technically, there are 4 categories of introvert:
- Social – happy to socialize and interact with a close-knit group of friends but equally happy in their own company (probably the good kind)
- Thinking/Introspective – extremely self-reflective and often lost in fantasy worlds
- Anxious – struggles with social interactions, often bordering on social anxiety and tends to reject invitations or any form of socializing due to the anxiety created in these social situations
- Inhibited/Restrained – halfway to social introvert status but a little more reserved and selective when it comes to warming up to new people
Whichever category you fall into you can decide for yourself.
Just remember, there’s no ‘bad’ kind of introvert.
If you find yourself relating to the anxious types, it just means you need to work a little more on pushing yourself out of your comfort zone (to a bearable extent).
Dabble in new experiences and entertain new friendships.
You never know where they might lead you.