Do you ever wonder if you’re charismatic?
It’s easy to brush off this idea and think, “I wish!”
But hold on a moment and consider the following 8 signs. You could be a very charismatic person and not even realize it.
I recently discovered I’m considered a very charismatic person, and it completely transformed my confidence and self-image.
1) You can easily brighten people’s day
The first sign that you’re a charismatic person (even if you don’t see it) is that you can easily brighten people’s day.
How do you know if you do this?
Just notice people’s reactions when you give them a compliment or tell them a few kind words. This could be a group of friends, your partner, or even a total stranger.
Do people pay attention, smile, or laugh? Do they respond and seem to have fresh energy?
If yes, then you have clearly made their day a little better — thanks to your charisma.
I used to be pretty insecure, always worrying about what other people thought about me. But a few friends pointed out that the stories I tell are very funny, and people always walk away from a conversation with me feeling much more positive.
This created a massive shift in how I feel about myself. And as it comes from other people, I know it’s objectively true too.
2) You have the power to bring people down
Unfortunately, there are always two sides to a coin. If you can bring people up, that means you also have the power to bring them down.
Just like kind words from you can make someone feel better, if you’re grouchy or rude, you can make them feel much, much worse.
This is a sign that your interactions with others matter to them — they look up to you and see you as influential.
I was very sorry to realize that I can have this effect on people around me. If I’m having a very bad day and get stuck in a negative state of mind, other people around me seem to have their energy drained from them as well.
This is the dark side of charisma — if you notice you have this impact on people, stay very mindful of it!
3) People greet you enthusiastically
How do you know when someone popular arrives at a party?
A ton of people go up to them to hug them, give them wide smiles, and exchange a few words with them.
But the important thing here is not the quantity of people — it’s the strength of their reaction.
Even if you’re meeting one friend, notice how they greet you. Do they barely look up from their phone, or do they give you their undivided attention and seem truly happy to see you?
I was struck by this idea just a few days ago, when I ran into a friend of mine on my way home from the store. He was standing on the sidewalk typing a message to his personal trainer when I walked up to him and said hi.
And I’ll probably never forget the way his eyes widened and his face broke out into a huge smile when he looked up and saw me.
This was the best feeling because I know it was authentic — he wasn’t expecting to see me, so he couldn’t plan his reaction in advance to be polite.
And if you pay attention to people’s reactions to you, you might see examples of the same thing.
4) People rarely feel indifferent towards you
As we just saw above, being charismatic is usually something very positive.
But well, you can’t please everyone. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you, or is triggered by you for one reason or another.
You might encounter people who seem put off by you for no reason, are jealous of you, or try to put you down.
If there’s any silver lining to this, it’s that it’s a possible sign you’re a charismatic person.
People take notice of you, even if you don’t see it, and so they have strong reactions to your presence, whether it brings out something positive or negative in them.
One thing is for sure, you rarely go unnoticed.
5) Your friends often come to you for advice
Do your friends often ask you for your opinions and advice with their decisions?
If yes, it’s a sure sign you’re a charismatic person, even if you don’t realize it.
People obviously only ask people for advice who they admire. So the fact that they come to you for help is a big compliment!
You might see these signs even in more subtle ways. For example, my friends seem to be pretty interested in my own decision-making process and progress in my own goals, and ask me questions about how I got to where I am.
This is a way of asking for advice too, because people want to learn from your own experience so that they can apply it to their own lives as well.
6) You often find yourself in leadership positions
I never really considered myself a leader — I have no ambitions to be a top CEO, and I never applied to be student body president or anything like that.
But somehow, I find myself filling leadership positions constantly throughout my life.
In university, I joined a club and became the president. I’m always the one planning group trips to ensure everything goes smoothly.
And when there’s a conflict between friends, I end up being the one mediating and helping people work things out until they reach an agreement.
People never follow someone they don’t trust, and if they didn’t like you they would find a way to arrange themselves on their own.
So if they stick with you and naturally follow you like you’re the leader, it’s a big sign that you’re a charismatic person — even if you don’t see it.
7) You are able to convince people to help you — even hostile ones
This is a sign of charisma that I recognized when I saw it in one of my close friends.
I was traveling abroad with her not long ago, and we were having trouble finding parking.
She looked around and saw a man nearby loading bags into the trunk of his car, seemingly in a pretty bad mood.
But that didn’t stop her — she confidently walked up to him and with a huge smile on her face, asked him if he could help us figure out where we could park.
He first looked up at her with a stern expression, and told her that the street parking in that area was only for residents.
But my friend was undeterred. I wish I remembered what exactly she said to him, but I was more fascinated by how his demeanor changed.
He pulled out his phone to open a map and show us where free parking began, and even walked with us a little bit to show us where to go. By the end, he even cracked a smile.
This shift in attitude and willingness to help is something only a charismatic person can cause. If you’ve experienced a similar situation yourself, it’s a big sign that you’re much more charismatic than you realize.
8) Strangers seem to trust you for no reason
This brings us to the last of the signs you’re a highly charismatic person, even if you don’t see it:
Strangers seem to trust you, for no apparent reason.
Of course, this cannot happen all the time. But in general, you seem to be likable and get people to open up.
How does this happen?
It’s all contextual. It could be as simple as your Airbnb host giving you some insider tips for where to go on a trip, or a consultant giving you extra time after your appointment to help you.
You don’t see this because you try to manipulate people, and you might not even realize it at first.
It’s just a result of your natural charisma.
Building your charisma
Charisma is considered an innate trait — you either have it, or you don’t.
And if you recognize any of the 8 signs above in yourself, chances are, you do have it.
But if not, don’t lose heart. You can shape yourself into whoever you want to be, and develop any skills or traits that you choose. Including being a charismatic person.