Good people are adorable, you guys are really out here living your lives constantly second-guessing yourselves if you’re being good or not.
All the while already being the brightest thing in any room.
And I guess it’s one of those days for you today, huh? One of those days when you feel like you’re not doing enough. As if you’re not being the best you can be.
As if you’re letting yourself and other people down.
I get it though, good people rarely think highly of themselves (because, hello, humility) and just assume that you’re just doing what needs to be done as a human being.
“Anyone would do the same thing,” is one of your favorite lines.
Well, news flash: No, not really. Not everyone would do the same thing as you, good person.
You might say, “Really? But I don’t feel like it.” Really. In fact, I have 15 signs that can show you that you’re a much better person than you think you are.
I hope it will make you feel better today and for any days you need the reminder.
Shall we?
1) You are helpful
Some lines you might have said before:
- I’m sure they would do the same for me.
- How can I be of help?
- Is there anything I can do to help?
Honestly, I get the exhaustion you feel. You help everyone, or at least as many people as you can, and sometimes (read: often) to the point of selflessness.
You might think, “I would hope that others would do the same for me.”
That unflinching optimism about other people’s goodness may have already burned you a few times in the past but you’re still willing to lend your assistance.
A note on that: Ever since I came across this quote from author Paulo Coelho, I keep reminding myself of it, “When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.”
So if today you’re tired and feel like you’re in no position to help anyone, that’s okay. Help yourself first by slowing down and resting.
After all, you can’t give from an empty cup. And if you’re up for some more reading, in this article from Psychology Today, Dr. Shawn M. Burn, Ph.D. listed 12 signs that you’re giving too much.
2) You are thoughtful and considerate
Some lines you might have said before:
- How can I make it better?
- I think they might like this [gift] because they [something very pointed and personal about the person].
If your love language concerns gifts, you probably give well-thought-out ones.
Outside of gifts, you always consider other people’s feelings and opinions when you make decisions that could impact others. A basic act of consideration is showing up on time or not letting other people wait for you.
In the plainest, most bland way I can explain this point is you’re mindful of how your actions can affect other people.
3) You’re compassionate
Some lines you might have said before:
- I feel for them.
- I am worthy and deserving of kindness, too.
- You never know what someone is going through.
You might have the tendency to doomscroll your way through social media. You probably follow accounts like Worth Feed or Good News Movement because people’s stories move you.
You probably have signed petitions or donated to GoFundMe campaigns. You probably have shared stories and articles that brought awareness to other people’s plights.
You are aware that there is suffering in the world and you wish to help however much you can.
4) You have people opening up to you all the time
Some lines you might have said before:
- [Comments on something someone said to you in passing 3 weeks ago.]
- You did well.
Have you ever had someone open up to you suddenly? Are you the type of person that others seek out when they have a problem?
It’s because people know you’re a safe space they can come to, you might not have all the answers but you are a shoulder they can lean on or cry to.
They know you’re understanding, non-judgmental, and supportive among other things. (These are traits I also listed below.)
5) You’re understanding
Some lines you might have said before:
- Things happen, and it’s okay.
- I’m sure it’s not that bad.
You don’t jump to conclusions. You’re the type of person who can usually consider all the sides of a story.
You’re not a fan of unnecessary drama.
You don’t make mountains out of molehills. This is not to say you let everything pass, but if it’s not a big deal, you don’t make it a big deal.
6) You don’t judge
Some lines you might have said before:
- As long as it makes you happy.
- I support you.
Wouldn’t the world be a more lovely place if we are all more non-judgmental? A dream. And you’re on the right track.
You don’t judge people unless they’re truly banes of the earth. You don’t make assumptions as best you can.
7) You are polite
Some lines you might have said before:
- Sorry, I interrupted you, what were you saying?
- May I hug you?
As this article from Reader’s Digest said, “True politeness is about so much more than holding open doors.”
It could be the simple act of saying “Please” and “Thank you.” (Personal segue: I judge people who are unkind to people who serve them at restaurants. Come on, guys, try to be nicer! Can you relate?)
You also don’t interrupt people when they’re speaking. And if you do, you make it a point to apologize and let them continue their point. (You’d be surprised how often people get cut off when they’re speaking.)
You also don’t invade people’s personal space without permission.
8) You are patient
Some lines you might have said before:
- Calm down.
- Don’t worry, we have time.
While patience is a virtue, it is also a skill. One that you have learned, if not mastered. You’re not one to hurry, you’re the type to wait for the bigger picture before acting or reacting.
This also translates to you being more patient when dealing with people. You’re not quick to anger and you hear people out when they make a mistake.
9) You are forgiving
Some lines you might have said before:
- Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal.
- You have hurt me but I’m willing to work through this together.
You very rarely hold grudges, if at all. You know how to work through your anger or you don’t let it affect you negatively. After all, you are aware of the power of forgiveness.
Side note: I don’t think anger is a bad emotion to feel, it allows us to know that something is not right or that we aren’t being treated well.
Like in this article from Psychology Today about Why Being Angry Is Okay, “Fear warns us about danger, grief tells us to seek support, joy tells us that we should continue doing whatever it is that makes us feel good.
Anger is the same. It tells us that injustice is being enacted, or that we need to take action to ensure the survival of our body and our integrity.”
So my point for this segue is: Feel your anger if you must, and forgive only when you’re ready.
10) You are respectful
Some lines you might have said before:
- That’s their business, not mine.
- It’s not my story to tell.
Respectful to elders and superiors, yes. But you just respect people for who they are, plain and simple.
You also respect people’s boundaries (be they physical, emotional, sexual, mental, etc.) You understand consent.
11) You are warm
Some lines you might have said before:
- You are welcome here.
- It’s lovely seeing you.
The lines above aren’t as important as the tone and intention. You genuinely welcome people and make them feel safe.
You are both warm-hearted and have a warm personality. You make people feel included, the type of person who checks up on people if they’re having fun during a party.
The type to randomly check up on their friends. You’re probably kind to strangers, too.
12) You are supportive
Some lines you might have said before:
- You’ve done your best, it’s okay.
- Okay, what do you need [for this]?
You’re everyone’s cheerleader. You like seeing others succeed. It’s easy for you to genuinely compliment people for a job well done or their best effort.
And when you can’t provide solutions or the other person doesn’t want solutions, you’re there any way to lend emotional support.
You don’t let people feel alone if you can help it.
13) You are humble
Some lines you might have said before:
- Oh, it’s just a small thing, don’t worry.
- [Not say anything about an achievement]
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
— Rick Warren
You don’t go through life boasting about yourself, not because you’re not proud, but mostly because you’re assured of what you can do.
A quiet competence if you will. You don’t overestimate yourself.
However, I do implore you to still celebrate your wins and let people celebrate you, too. You deserve to be told that you did a job well done.
14) You are consistent
Some lines you might have said before:
- This is what I believe in.
- This is what will make me happy.
What I mean by consistency is that you’re very aligned with your actions and ideals. You practice what you preach.
I don’t mean the kind of consistency that you push through even through exhaustion, not at all. (I sure hope you don’t push through exhaustion.)
(Resting is not a reward, bestie. You deserve rest because you’re a human being, so slow down and breathe.)
15) You’re grateful
Some lines you might have said before:
- This wouldn’t have been possible without the help of [so and so].
- I wouldn’t know what to do without you.
- I’m so thankful for today.
A lot of us are bad with gratitude (like the author of this article about highly grateful people). We’re bad at acknowledging the good, much less being thankful for it, for whatever reason.
But you, you practice gratitude. You’re thankful for the day, for being alive, for getting to experience the world for one more day.
You’re grateful for life, grateful for the people around you. You’re grateful for the support, and how others lift you up.
You are thankful. And that makes you not take anything for granted.
To end…
Don’t stress, friend. You’re doing a good enough job considering you’re even seeking answers if you’re being a good person.
Bad people won’t care one bit. And you do, right? You already have that locked in.
