7 signs your relationship is unbreakable, according to psychology

Think your relationship is going to last?

You probably thought ‘yes’. Research suggests that most of us do. 

A 2013 survey found that a whopping 86 percent of 18-to 29-year-old Americans expected their marriages to last their entire lives. 

However, actual data paints a different picture entirely. 

You’ve probably heard that half of all marriages end in divorce. While calculations are not exactly straightforward, there is some truth to this. As noted by the American Psychological Association, the chances of a couple making it to their 20-year anniversary are just over 50 percent. 

What’s more shocking is that according to Forbes, second and third marriages fall apart even more often! The divorce rate for third marriages is a staggering 73%. 

Needless to say, it appears that practice doesn’t, in fact, make perfect when it comes to relationships!

You’re not married? 

That’s not probably going to save you, either. Recent research from the UK indicates that couples who have kids and live together but are not married are more likely to break up than those who are married. 

I know; it’s pretty negative. Still think you are the exception?

Well, the good news is that you just might be. Not all relationships are created equal. 

Today, we dive into seven signs that yours is likely to go the distance. 

1) You don’t try to change each other

Isn’t it ironic how we often fall for someone’s unique traits only to later wish they’d tweak those very qualities? 

We’re drawn to their spontaneous adventures but later wish for more predictability, or we’re captivated by their passionate work ethic, only to later long for more downtime together. 

This tug-of-war between attraction and alteration can strain even the strongest bonds.

However, as noted by Psych Central, psychologist David Tzall tells us that accepting faults and a lack of desire to change our significant other is a sign of unconditional love.

This suggests that not shaping each other to fit an ideal but valuing each other’s uniqueness is key to lasting love and, in turn, a lasting relationship. 

However, sometimes, love is not enough. We need to be practical, as this next sign illustrates. 

2) You are financially comfortable

When it comes to lasting relationships, it seems money is not unimportant. Don’t believe me? 

Let’s delve into the numbers. 

Research highlighted by Forbes revealed that: “Financial stress contributed to 24% of divorces.”  

A 2009 study further cements the role of finances in marital stability, revealing that couples with no assets were more likely to part ways than those who had managed to accumulate assets amounting to $10,000.

It’s not the be-all and end-all, but being financially comfortable certainly provides a cushion against one of the common pitfalls that couples face, allowing the relationship to focus more on growth and less on survival​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​.

3) You’re on the same page about the “big issues”

It should come as no surprise that being in harmony on life’s “big issues”  helps keep relationships steady. 

And the experts would agree. Jon-Paul Bird, a marriage and family therapist, explained this well when he stated:

“If one person wants nothing more than to have three kids and the other is strictly opposed to having children, there could be an issue.” 

It’s about fundamental life goals and values that are at odds. Children, finances, career goals, and lifestyle choices – these form the bedrock of a shared life. When you’re aligned on these, you’re not just coexisting; you’re co-creating a future, step by step, decision by decision.

It’s not about agreeing on every little thing; it’s about knowing that when it comes to the journey you’re on together, you’re both heading in the same direction, with mutual understanding and respect guiding your way.

This deep-seated alignment is what makes a relationship resilient and capable of weathering life’s storms.

4) You went to university

I know this sounds strange and somewhat elitist, but it’s not my opinion; it’s simply what the data suggests. 

As noted by The American Psychological Association, “Women with at least a bachelor’s degree have a 78 percent shot that their marriages will last 20 years, compared with a 41 percent chance among women with only a high school diploma, according to the NCHS data.” 

The reasoning behind this data could be multifaceted, involving economic stability, shared values, and perhaps a broader perspective on problem-solving and communication within relationships that higher education might foster. 

But it is what it is; the numbers rarely lie. 

5) You don’t compare your relationship to others’

Men who never cheat and stay loyal in their relationships often display these behaviors id 7 signs your relationship is unbreakable, according to psychology

Here at Ideapod, I’m always preaching that it’s better to judge ourselves by our own progress rather than by looking at others. If you are a regular reader, you are probably sick and tired of hearing this from me. 

But you will hear it again today because this is super important for relationships, too. 

Having a strong relationship means not worrying about how your partnership stacks up against others or the ones you see on TV or online. 

Research shows that when we compare our relationships to ones that seem better, it can make us feel less happy, less satisfied, and even less confident in ourselves and our partners.

Every couple has their own story, made up of shared moments, tough times you’ve gotten through together, and how you’ve both grown closer. By focusing on your own unique journey, you make your relationship stronger and more secure.

This means creating a special space for your relationship where it doesn’t matter what anyone else’s looks like. 

If you and your partner are in it together, building something that’s all about the two of you, without the need to compare it to anyone else’s relationship​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​, it’s a big sign. 

6) You both have your own lives outside the relationship

Having an unbreakable bond doesn’t mean you and your partner are joined at the hip at all times. 

It’s about having a balance where both of you can pursue your own interests, passions, and friendships outside the relationship while still being deeply connected and committed to each other. Or what we might call interdependence. 

As put by relationship expert,  Dr. Barton Goldsmith “The healthiest way we can interact with those close to us is by being truly interdependent. This is where two people, both strong individuals, are involved with each other, but without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values.” 

Basically, in a truly interdependent relationship, both partners appreciate and encourage each other’s need for personal space and individuality. 

This doesn’t mean you’re drifting apart or living separate lives. Instead, it’s about respecting each other’s need for personal development and understanding that being independent in certain areas can actually bring you closer together. 

Do you have your own hobbies, friends, and pursuits, but at the end of the day, you come back to each other enriched by your individual experiences?

If so, your relationship is more set up for the long haul than many. 

7) You can talk to each other

In researching this topic, one statistic on divorce really grabbed my attention: a staggering 31% of divorcees pointed to “incompatibility” as the main culprit behind their split. What’s more, the decision to part ways is rarely a mutual one, with just 21% of couples agreeing to end things together. 

This begs the question: How do so many partners, after years of dating, suddenly find themselves ‘incompatible’?

Sure, people change, but not that much; the answer surely lies in communication, or rather, the lack thereof. 

The significance of open, honest dialogue in relationships is something almost every expert in the field can agree on, but Madissyn Fredericks, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, put it succinctly. She wrote:

“Without communication, you have no foundation to build a healthy relationship on. Open communication gives each partner the opportunity to be vulnerable and listen to the other. A healthy relationship allows the space for difficult conversations and disagreements to be had with minimal avoiding or attacking.”

This isn’t just about airing your grievances or sharing your day-to-day experiences. It’s about creating a space where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.

It’s about the ability to engage in those tough conversations without fear of judgment or retaliation, where listening is just as important as speaking.

Sound familiar?

If ‘yes,’ then you’re on the right track. 

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any unbreakable relationship. Without it, even the most passionate relationships can wither. 

The bottom line 

While the stats on breakups aren’t so inspiring (and some are nothing short of shocking), we have to remember that every relationship is different. 

If you can relate to the above signs, good for you. It’s likely you have a relationship that will stand the test of time and the hardships life inevitably throws at us all. 

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

Until next time. 

Picture of Mal James

Mal James

Originally from Ireland, Mal is a content writer, entrepreneur, and teacher with a passion for self-development, productivity, relationships, and business. As an avid reader, Mal delves into a diverse range of genres, expanding his knowledge and honing his writing skills to empower readers to embark on their own transformative journeys. In his downtime, Mal can be found on the golf course or exploring the beautiful landscapes and diverse culture of Vietnam, where he is now based.

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