Many people thought they were in a great relationship until the unimaginable happened. Their partner cheated on them, left them, or wanted to break up.
If you don’t want this to happen to you, you’re in luck because there are some clear signs that your relationship is mature, secure, and right.
Let’s see what they are.
1) Effective communication
In a mature and secure relationship, you and your partner communicate openly and honestly.
You’re not afraid to share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Above all, you have an open dialogue that allows you to understand each other better and helps you work through challenges together.
Effective communication gets more important as the years go by, and you start talking less and less to each other.
Without this pillar, there’s no mature and healthy relationship.
Trust is another foundation of any strong relationship. If you and your partner have built trust over time by being reliable and honest, that means you’re consistent in your actions.
When both of you say you’ll do something, you follow through. This reliability creates a sense of dependability and security in the relationship.
You know you can count on each other, whether it’s for small daily tasks or more significant commitments.
Trust also allows for vulnerability. You feel safe enough to reveal your true self, including your fears, insecurities, and past mistakes. You know your partner won’t judge you harshly.
Plus, this vulnerability strengthens emotional intimacy.
We all know how important intimacy is, right? We also know there’s no physical and emotional intimacy without the above-mentioned trust and consent.
Your relationship is mature, secure, and right if you prioritize each other’s comfort and boundaries and create an environment where both of you feel safe and desired.
But did you know that spending quality time together is a key component of emotional intimacy?
Whether it’s meaningful conversations, shared activities, or just being present with each other, you need to cherish these moments of connection.
4) Shared sense of humor
I can’t imagine spending my life with someone who doesn’t have a great sense of humor. I don’t mean they should crack jokes or be a stand-up comedian.
I simply believe they shouldn’t go around with a stick up their but and take life too seriously.
Having a shared sense of humor means you both understand each other’s jokes and find amusement in similar things.
This is one of the signs of a great relationship:
You can make each other laugh, even during challenging moments. Inside jokes and playful banter are common and plentiful, and you create a joyful environment and keep things light-hearted in your relationship.
But let’s shift gears now and talk about money.
5) Financial compatibility
Do you guys have a similar outlook on finances? Are you financially compatible?
Financial compatibility means that you and your partner have similar financial values, goals, and practices.
You also openly discuss financial matters without tension or conflict. We all know how much of a hot topic money matters can be.
That’s why partners in mature relationships spend time talking about saving for the future, investing, or budgeting. Their financial decisions align, reducing stress around money.
If your relationship is mature, secure, and right, expressing gratitude and appreciation is a regular part of it.
You have a habit of acknowledging each other’s efforts and contributions, making sure neither partner feels taken for granted.
So, for example, you’re saying “I love you” regularly and sincerely, and you’re complimenting each other on physical appearance or personality traits.
You’re also thankful for the little things your partner does, like making breakfast or helping with chores.
Doing this is extremely easy, but there needs to be willpower to do it regularly.
7) Future planning
If your relationship isn’t stagnant but forward-looking, it’s also a signal it’s mature, secure, and future-proof.
You and your partner can only envision living with each other until the end, and that’s why you discuss your future together.
This, of course, involves talking about career aspirations, family planning, buying a place to live, and other long-term goals.
These regular conversations help you align your paths and connect you even more together.
But being in a long-term relationship also means you have to be resilient.
Resilience in your relationship is a testament to its strength. You’ve faced difficulties, whether internal or external and have come through on top together.
Your shared history of overcoming challenges builds trust and confidence in your ability to handle anything that comes your way.
But facing significant challenges or life changes as a team is also a testament to your adaptability and strength as a couple.
Whether it’s moving to a new city, changing careers, or dealing with unexpected difficulties, your ability to tackle these challenges together highlights your resilience and unity.
This leads us to the following:
9) Mutual growth
In a secure relationship, both partners support each other’s personal growth and self-improvement.
You inspire each other to pursue goals, learn new skills, and develop as individuals. Your relationship is a catalyst of sorts for personal development and achievement.
My wife and I moved countries relatively recently and have bonded together by learning the language we both knew very little up to that point.
This made for some great conversations as we practiced our new-found language skills over a glass of Sangria.
But this also brought some surprises to our relationship.
10) Surprises and thoughtfulness
Surprise gestures and thoughtfulness are signs that you continue to put effort into keeping the romance alive.
These things include surprising your partner with their favorite meal, leaving sweet notes, or planning unexpected dates. It also means buying flowers and sweets outside of Valentine’s Day.
Those of us who are in long-term relationships or marriages know exactly how little things like these elevate the bond and show that you still value and appreciate each other.
They also help keep the fire going!
11) Physical affection
Talking about fire, physical attraction is almost always the first thing we notice about our potential partner.
Without the attraction, there’s arguably no physical affection. But physical affection goes beyond just sexual intimacy.
It includes cuddling, hugging, holding hands, and other forms of non-sexual touch. Regular physical affection keeps the connection strong and helps you feel emotionally close to each other.
DO NOT neglect this part of the relationship if you want a mature, secure, and right relationship.
12) Shared interests
Just as a shared sense of humor is important, so are the shared interests. While you both have your individual hobbies and interests, having shared activities you enjoy together reinforces your bond.
It gives you common ground to connect on and provides opportunities for quality time and shared experiences.
That’s why almost all great relationships have one or more shared interests in the middle. And I’m not solely talking about kids because they can pull you further apart in many cases.
The stress of raising children certainly tests the strength of a relationship or marriage.
I’m talking about shared charity work, hiking, going to the gym together, pickleball, or whatever else you like doing regularly together.
13) Respect for boundaries
In the end, many relationships are adult, secure, and right if both partners respect each other’s boundaries.
All this talk about doing things together, and now I’m talking about setting boundaries. But they’re incredibly important.
Respecting each other’s boundaries means not only acknowledging them but actively encouraging and supporting them.
You must understand that personal space, time alone, privacy, and autonomy boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship.
Now tell me, how many of these boxes does your relationship check? Do you really believe you’re in a mature and secure relationship?
But, most importantly, is there wiggle room to improve things even if they’re mostly okay?