Maybe some friends have told you that they were initially intimidated by you when you first met.
Perhaps it’s something that you can intuitively feel from others.
Or here’s another one that might really resonate: you don’t even care.
Feeling like you have an intimidating personality can feel like you’re this monster that lives on the hill. The one that everyone tells stories about and avoids because they think you eat people.
But it’s actually more about how you make people question themselves by embodying something they feel they lack. Something foreign or covettable.
Here are 6 signs that you have an intimidating personality – assuming you don’t actually go around eating people.
1) You like to mind your business
I know we just talked about not living on the hill in the isolated cabin, but what I mean here is that you don’t bother to engage with people unless you really want to.
You also might not openly share what you’re up to. And it’s not even that you’re trying to be mysterious.
It’s just that you don’t get the same satisfaction as others do from external validation.
This kind of self-reliance and confidence can make people question where they lack those things in themselves.
It can also challenge people’s egos because you might not really take interest in what’s going on in their lives. Even though you might pique their curiosities.
This imbalance can make people feel insecure and either avoid you or question you.
However they react to discomfort depends on them, but I’ve found that those are the main two reactions.
2) You’re not afraid to do things
A plain subheading for a seemingly plain concept. But it’s actually quite remarkable if you are able to do things.
This includes being able to put yourself out there and be seen when you want to be.
Or maybe you aren’t afraid to start over, or quit when something isn’t right for you.
And it’s probably because you find no pleasure in conforming to a certain timeline or norms.
It takes courage to face change head-on. And what might come naturally to you, doesn’t for a lot of people.
Because a lot of people are conditioned to seek stability, to not question what is, and to adopt a herd mentality, you might appear uncontrollable.
A threat to their sense of stability.
It’s not always envy (though sometimes it can be); when people feel this way, they might judge you to discredit your courage.
It’s best to not internalize their projections of their own fears. Because while it feels personal, they probably react like this to anyone that expresses themselves freely.
Which happens to be another sign!
Related: 12 qualities of people who are confident (but not arrogant)
3) Expressing yourself is as natural to you as breathing is
So you might speak up for yourself, speak your mind, or you just don’t hide how you feel.
I think this is an incredible trait because people who intimidate others in a monstrous way feed off the passivity of others.
If you’re able to channel your courage to create a more inclusive environment, not only is that intimidating to the right people, but it’s admirable.
It can feel like you’re doing something wrong because you might feel like you attract conflict.
But trust me, as someone who has been there, it’s just a part of finding an environment that will appreciate your candor and clear communication.
Assuming once again, that you aren’t a human-eating monster.
4) And so naturally, you’re successful
Growth happens when change happens.
And the best change happens when you aren’t afraid to be yourself.
If you’re able to flow through the ups and downs of life, and make it out on the other side alive, you will always have something to celebrate.
And greatness has always been something that inspires, as well as blinds.
Whether you purposefully live by a growth mindset or are just strategically oblivious, being successful is intimidating.
The thing is, while you appear intimidating and successful to others, you might not even think of yourself as highly as they do.
You know why? Because an abundant mind like yours often is humble and grateful.
So another way you can tell if you have an intimidating personality, is if:
5) You find people trying to humble you often
By humiliating you or by competing with you, people who feel triggered by you will find little ways to make you question yourself.
And for others to question you, too.
Unluckily for them, the only people they manage to convince are those who let themselves be convinced.
Some other subtle ways they might do this is by withholding compliments on purpose. As much as it is to discredit you, it’s also to validate their own resentment towards you.
It might stay subtle because no one wants to seem like they’re threatened, but they will be crude in the way they make you feel targeted and left out.
Related: 10 signs you’re in a relationship with a highly intelligent man
6) You don’t pay attention to these kinds of things
It seems we’ve come full circle. Kind of.
Being uninterested in other people’s one-sided beef with you can be a form of minding your business.
But if minding your business exercises self-control, letting people be can relinquish control. Which is a feat of its own.
You might like to kill ‘em with kindness, or maybe you’re like me and are a little clueless until you sit down and try to notice.
To be frank, sometimes even when I do notice, a reaction feels too expensive to give.
Either way, as much as people are intimidated by what threatens them, they’re also intimidated by what they can’t threaten.
Oh, the drama!
Having an “intimidating personality” isn’t at all about being intimidating, as much as it is about being a mirror to others.
Whether you’re a sensitive mirror or a carefree one, it’s important to take note of how people treat you for it. This way, you can find those that aren’t intimidated by you because they have their own mirrors.
And next time someone tries to shame you for showing them where they need more self-acceptance and exploration, consider sending them an invoice.
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