Let’s face it: we all have our quirks. But sometimes, these quirks can make us a bit tough to handle.
This isn’t about self-deprecation. It’s about self-awareness. It’s about understanding how our actions and attitudes can impact others.
We’ve all got room for improvement, and sometimes the first step is realizing that maybe, just maybe, we’re not as easy to get along with as we think we are.
Today, we dive into nine hard truths that may suggest your personality is difficult for others to handle.
Let’s get to it.
1) You’re often the center of attention
Ever find that you’re the only one talking?
We all love a bit of spotlight now and then. But if you find yourself constantly taking center stage, it might be a sign that you’re a bit too dominating.
People have a way of gravitating towards those who leave space for them, who listen, and who genuinely care about what they have to say.
It can be exhausting for others if you’re always the one leading the discussion and always deciding where to go or what to do.
Sure, being assertive is a good trait. But there’s a fine line between being assertive and being overbearing.
Does this sound familiar?
Take a step back.
Listen more than you speak, and give others a chance to shine.
2) You struggle with empathy
The ability to understand and share the feelings of others is a crucial part of any social interaction.
A lack of it can make it impossible for others to connect with us.
Research actually shows that humans are wired to connect. Our brains have what are called “mirror neurons” that help us respond to how others behave.
And I mean, it makes sense, right?
It’s a survival mechanism that allowed our ancestors to live in groups and cooperate.
If you find it hard to empathize with others, if their joys and sorrows don’t resonate with you, it could make your personality difficult for others to handle.
At best, you may come off as someone who has little in common with them. At worst, you can come off as being indifferent or uncaring.
Working on your empathetic skills can greatly improve your relationships. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is a powerful tool for understanding and connecting with others on a deeper level.
3) You often feel misunderstood
I remember early in my career, I’d often feel misunderstood. It seemed like whatever I said, people would interpret it differently. It was as if I was speaking a different language.
Does this resonate with you?
The truth is that often, when we feel like no one “gets” us, well, it might not be them. It’s probably us.
It was me.
A mentor of sorts at the time made me realize that I was not expressing myself clearly enough and that my thoughts and actions were not as transparent as I believed them to be.
So, I started working on my communication skills. I worked on making my intentions clear and ensuring my actions matched my words.
The result?
Better relationships and less frustration.
So, if you’re often feeling misunderstood, take a moment to reflect. Is there something you could be doing differently in terms of communication? Could you be making your points clearer and more relatable?
4) You’re often defensive
Do you find yourself constantly on the defensive? Are you always defending your choices, opinions, or even your lifestyle to others who may not understand or accept them?
We all get defensive sometimes; it’s a natural response to criticism or perceived threats. But if this is always happening, it could signal a difficulty in accepting feedback or acknowledging your mistakes.
As noted by Oregon Health & Science University, “A defensive listener will be less able to “hear” what the speaker is saying.” That is, being defensive can easily create a barrier that prevents open and honest communication.
It can also make others hesitant to share their thoughts or feelings with you for fear of triggering a defensive reaction.
The truth is we all make mistakes. And accepting this not only makes us human but also allows us to learn and grow.
Lowering your defenses and being open to criticism can improve your relationships and make you easier to be around.
5) You’re resistant to change
Change is a natural part of life. It’s how we grow, learn, and adapt. Yet, some of us struggle with it more than others.
If you’re someone who digs their heels in at the slightest hint of change, it could be making your personality difficult for others to handle. This resistance can come off as stubbornness or inflexibility, and it can hinder progress and growth.
Being adaptable doesn’t mean you have to compromise your values or beliefs. It simply means being open to new ideas, perspectives, and ways of doing things.
This is so important for the current world of work that the World Economic Forum ranked “Resilience, flexibility and agility” as the third most important skill for workers in their Future of Jobs 2023 report.
Remember, change is the only constant in life. Embracing it rather than fighting against it can make you easier to be around and open up new opportunities for personal growth.
6) You struggle with showing vulnerability
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that showing vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of courage.
As a younger man, I would hide my true feelings, believing that to be strong, I had to be unemotional and stoic. Now, I understand that embracing and expressing my vulnerabilities allows me to connect more authentically with others and grow more resilient.
People connect with authenticity. They relate to the ups, downs, and everything in between that makes us human.
Think about the people you feel closest to. Chances are, they’ve shown you their vulnerabilities, their fears, their insecurities. And that’s likely brought you closer.
Don’t be afraid to show your softer side.
It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human and much easier to connect with.
7) It’s hard for you to admit when you’re wrong
Have you ever found yourself in a heated debate, perhaps over something trivial like a movie plot or a historical fact, only to realize later that you were wrong?
The solution is simple: admit we are wrong and move on, but it’s not always so easy, right?
I’ve faced this, too.
Admitting that we’re wrong, especially in moments when our pride is at stake, can be incredibly hard. I’d often defend my point of view, even when I knew deep down that I was mistaken.
This is a tough trait for others to deal with. It can come off as stubbornness or arrogance, making it difficult for others to communicate with you effectively.
But being wrong is a part of being human. It’s how we learn and grow.
Acknowledging this can make us easier to be around.
8) You often feel like the victim
If you often find yourself blaming others for your circumstances or believing the world is against you, it might be making your personality difficult for others to handle.
This attitude can create a negative atmosphere and make people feel uncomfortable. I mean, people have enough problems of their own without always hearing about ours.
Worse yet, it prevents us from taking control of our lives and making positive changes.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, faces challenges. But it’s how we respond to these challenges that defines us.
By taking responsibility for our actions and decisions, we can move from feeling like a victim to becoming the hero of our own story.
It’s that’s a transformation that not only benefits us, but also those around us.
9) You’re not open to feedback
While we might not always love to get it, feedback is a gift.
It’s an opportunity for growth, for learning, for improvement. If you’re someone who shies away from feedback or reacts negatively to it, it can make your personality difficult for others to handle.
Being open to feedback shows that you value learning and growth over ego. It shows that you’re willing to listen, to change, and to improve. And that’s a trait that people admire.
So next time someone offers you feedback, see it as a gift. Embrace it, learn from it, and use it as a stepping stone towards becoming the best version of yourself.
The bottom line: It’s about self-awareness
At the heart of all this is the concept of self-awareness.
Self-awareness is the understanding of one’s own thoughts, emotions, and actions. It’s about recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, and the impact we have on others.
This enhances our ability to understand others, to empathize with them, and to form genuine connections.
If you’ve identified with any of these signs, don’t be disheartened. The first step towards change is awareness. And now that you’re aware, you have the power to change.
It’s about striving to be the best version of ourselves for our sake and for those around us.
Until next time.
