8 signs your partner truly values and respects you, according to psychology

It’s nice to receive flowers and 10,000 kisses.

But if, deep down, your partner doesn’t truly value and respect you, do those things even matter?

Respect is the foundation of any relationship.

Without it, real love cannot grow.

Want to know if your partner truly values and respects you?

Here are 8 signs of this, according to psychology.

1) They let you be your own person

A partner who truly values and respects you sees you as your own individual, and not as an accessory or an extension of themself.

This means they have fewer narcissistic traits.

  • They don’t have main character syndrome. 
  • They are high on empathy.
  • They don’t try to connect everything to themselves.
  • They don’t think the world revolves around them.

Instead of only seeing you as a sidekick, they see you as their equal. And of course, they’re also very much invested in the developments in your life. 

They acknowledge and appreciate you for who you are. They help you discover truths about yourself, and they encourage you to find your passions and discover your authentic self.

They’re happy when you’re genuinely happy.

2) They share your load

Research shows that many couples still fall into stereotypical gender roles when it comes to housework.

If your partner truly values and respects you—especially if you’re the woman—they won’t slack off.

They’ll make sure that they’re able to do their share in maintaining the household—from washing the dishes, throwing trash, to cooking, and taking care of the pets.

This might be the reason why, according to a study, couples who are able to divide and collaborate at doing chores are more satisfied in their relationships.

This goes beyond chores, of course.

If you’re earning just a bit more than them, they won’t expect you to pay every time you go out just because you’re the man. They’ll make sure you both feel secure and treated fairly when it comes to your finances…and everything else, really.

Fairness is respect in action.

You cannot keep saying “I love you” and not wash the dishes, or spend a single cent when you’re both earning.

3) They respect your boundaries

When you say “no”, they won’t even try to convince you to change your mind. No means no!

Most of all, they won’t manipulate you to get their way.

In fact, they don’t just respect the boundaries you’ve set, they’ll help you impose them.

Even if you don’t tell them outright that you don’t want them borrowing your car, they’d know not to ask anyway.

They know that asking you might be uncomfortable for you because you’re a people-pleaser, so they’d opt to not put you in that position.

Sahar Andrade, award-winning life coach and author has this to say about boundaries:

“Boundaries generate safety in relationships. When your privacy is respected, you are more likely to feel heard, validated, and appreciated. But most of all, you are not taken for granted.”

So if you notice that your partner never crosses your boundaries, then consider yourself lucky because they definitely have high respect for you.

4) Their love liberates

A person who truly values and respects you doesn’t want to suffocate you.

They don’t possess manipulative and controlling traits.

They would never:

  • Guilt-trip you into doing things you don’t want to do.
  • Get jealous with every interaction you have with the opposite sex.
  • Chain you up with excessive rules in your relationship.
  • Turn you into someone you’re not.
  • Be judgmental of your life choices.

Instead, they make your relationship a fertile ground for you to grow together as a couple and as individuals. 

They’ll nourish you with unconditional love and emotional support so you can flourish and bloom.

5) They value what you think

youre in a relationship with a highly intelligent woman 8 signs your partner truly values and respects you, according to psychology

There are people who are loving to their partners…but then they tend to neglect them when it comes to important things—like making decisions.

A partner who truly values and respects you would treat you as their partner. Most of all, they’d respect your input. 

And so, when they have to decide whether to buy a car or a bike, they’d ask you about it.

And when they have to buy a plant for their kitchen, they’d ask whether you prefer bamboo or cypress.

They want your stamp of approval on the decisions they make—big or small—because they truly value you as a person.

6) They follow through on their promises

According to the Gottman Institute:

“A lack of integrity eats away at every good thing that is necessary for building a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship.”

They also added that the most amazing couples make sure they only do integrous action towards each other.

A partner who truly values and respects you will always try their best to act with integrity.

When they say they’ll do something, you can trust that they’ll do it. 

And on the times that they forget to do so, and you remind them of it, they won’t make up excuses and accuse you of being too demanding or impatient.

Instead, they’d say “Thank you for reminding me,” and rush to do what needs to be done.

7) They’re honest no matter what

When you ask them if you look good in a dress, they won’t say yes if they really think you look like a clown in it.

They respect you enough that they’d rather tell you the truth (in the nicest way possible), than to let you hear it from other people. .

And if they did something that could sabotage your relationship—say, they kissed a colleague—they’d still tell you about it because they know you deserve the truth.

Yes, it could rock your relationship, but because they value and respect you as a person, they simply can’t just go on like nothing happened.

8) They protect you from harm

When your partner truly values you, they feel a need to protect you.

It’s just human nature. Your happiness matters to them. And you feeling safe contributes to your happiness. 

According to certified relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, “we are happier when we feel the most protected; especially within the confines of our relationship.”

When you need help at something, they’d do whatever they can to help you.

When you’re in trouble, you can count on them to swoop in and save the day.

And when you just need a shoulder to cry on, they’ll be there to listen without judgment.

But you know what sets them apart? 

They will protect you and care for you so much that they’d even protect you from themselves.

They will:

  • Try to change their toxic behaviors.
  • Work on solving their issues like addiction, depression, etc.
  • Shield you from their troubles from time to time.

And this could be the reason why when they think they’re causing you more suffering than happiness, they’d be willing to let you go.

Final thoughts

Overall, a person who values you has your best interests at heart.

They will treat you like an equal, and even hold you in high regard.

Because of this, your relationship isn’t toxic and you develop a deep and profound connection which allows the both of you to grow.

If you’re nodding a lot while reading this article because they describe your partner to a T, then you’re one lucky chap.

Give them the same level of respect they’re giving you (and more) and you’ll have a love that can last a lifetime.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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