12 signs your partner truly loves you, even if it isn’t obvious

Does your partner cringe when you hug them? 

Do they rarely say “I love you”?

Tempting as it may be to think that they’re emotionally unavailable or that they don’t love you, there might be more to it than that.

You see, there are just some people who have a hard time showing affection.

It doesn’t mean they don’t love you though.

And if you pay close attention to their actions, you can see small, less obvious signs of their love.

Here are 12 signs your partner truly loves you, even if it isn’t obvious.

1) They remember the things you tell them

You once told them that your favorite band is Weezer, so they bought you some Weezer merch out of the blue.

You off-handedly mentioned how much you like watching crime documentaries…so when they see some interesting ones on Netflix, they’ll inform you straight away.

They take note of the many things you tell them—regardless of whether or not they’re important.

That’s because they love you so much that they treasure every little thing they could ever know about you. And it’s for that reason they can recall even things that you might have already forgotten about.

2) They give you regular updates (even if you don’t ask them)

When they’re out having drinks with friends, they’re not just going to leave you in the dark until they come back home.

Instead, they’ll send you updates every now and then, even if those updates are as simple as “Am at Nando’s” or “going to the skate park now.”

And if it’s late, they’ll surely message you “Last round. I will be home in 30 minutes max.”

The last thing they want is to have you worry unnecessarily—they care about your peace of mind because of how much they love you.

3) They ask for your “permission”

You know that they know that they’re free to do whatever they want. 

They don’t HAVE To ask for your permission… and yet they somehow do.

They might ask if it’s okay for you to have lunch together with their family before entertaining their family’s request.

They will always give you a chance to say “No”. And if you indeed decline their request, they’ll  tell you it’s totally fine.

They ask for your permission for important life decisions—like switching jobs or investing in something.

As far as they’re concerned, you’re a couple now and that means you have a say in their business.

4) They worry when you worry

Life isn’t gentle—you’re bound to feel pain, anger, and despair no matter how hard you try.

But you never feel alone in your fears because they’re there for you no matter what.

When you’re panicking because you found a lump on your throat, they’re not just going to dismiss you and tell you “Meh, you’re just being paranoid!”

They’ll instead comfort you and accompany you to a clinic.

And when it turns out to be just nothing, they’ll be relieved and not tell you “I told you so!”

They’re likewise there for you when you’re worrying over your withering bank account, your work situation, or your pet fish acting differently.

5) They’re happy when you’re happy

Happiness is contagious. Or, at the very least, it is contagious between the two of you.

Somehow they just can’t help but smile when they know that you’re happy.

They get a bit teary-eyed when you finally get recognition for the project you worked hard for.

They can’t hide their smile when you’re humming while eating your favorite meal.

When someone truly loves you, nothing makes them happier than to see you happy.

And you can see this in the way they seem to reflect your own happiness right back at you.

1806 12 signs your partner truly loves you, even if it isn’t obvious

6) They’re proud of you

And it’s not like you did anything special!

You’re not out there earning six figures a month or sending submarines to the Titanic. 

Maybe you hit 100 followers on your social media page, painted something, found a job, or baked some amazing cookies.

But even that is worth celebrating as far as they’re concerned.

The thing with love is that when we love someone, everything that person does becomes magically wonderful.  They become the most awesome person in the world, bar none!

So while they might not be telling you “I love you” directly, you can nonetheless see it in their adoration for every single thing you do.

7) They’re extra protective 

They might not always step in when they see someone hitting on you, but the moment they see you get uncomfortable, they’ll happily stand up for you.

They might not be the kind of person to send you flowers on Valentines’ Day, but if they can sense that you’re in trouble they’ll rush to your side.

It’s not like they treat you like you’re some kind of dainty flower. They trust that you can stand up for yourself.

But the moment they realize that you need their help and protection, they’ll happily do everything to help you—even if that means they’ll have to wrestle a bear or two.

8) They push you to follow your dreams

When you tell them about your dreams, they’re not the kind of person who’d say things like “Is that really a career?” or “I think you’re way too unrealistic” 

Instead, they’ll encourage you.

If you want to become a filmmaker, they might buy you cameras and lenses or help you see if there are any workshops you might be interested in.

If you want to be an entrepreneur, they’re going to send you links that they think you’ll find useful.

They’ll try to find ways to help you improve and support you even if it takes away from your time together.

Someone more self-centered will instead try to discourage you and make you focus your attention on them.

9) They put in the effort to get to know your friends and family

They know they really don’t have to, but they’ll put in a lot of effort into getting to know your friends. 

And if they could see that you have a healthy relationship with your family, they’ll try to get to know and get along with them as well.

Again, they’re aware that they don’t NEED to, but they just want to.

As far as they’re concerned, if they’re serious about you and actually love you, they should get along with those who are important to you.

In contrast to this, people who don’t actually care about you will either not care about your friends and family or outright try to turn you against them.

10) They always strive to become better (for you)

Perhaps they used to be the laziest person on the planet. But ever since they met you, they’ve become especially hard-working.

They’d stop sitting around all day and decided to take the initiative and try to get fit at the gym.

Love is one of the world’s biggest motivators. They might not say it outright, but if they truly love you they’ll try to become the best possible version of themselves that they can be… for your sake.

They don’t have to say “I love you”—their actions are enough.

11) They appreciate the things you do

There are times where you feel like you’re the one doing the heavy lifting in your relationship.

You’re the one planning the dates, setting the schedules, and putting in the effort to make your time together special.

So sometimes you can’t help but wonder if they even cared for you at all.

But look, not everyone has a mind to be proactive. Some people are just naturally inclined to stay passive instead.

And the thing is that even though they’re being more passive than you’d have liked, they nonetheless take great pains to appreciate the work you do.

They’d say things like “Thank you for the things you do” and “You’re amazing at this” and mean it.

12) They will do their best to make things work

Things don’t always go smoothly in a relationship.

Perhaps you learned that you fundamentally disagree with their beliefs a few months into your relationship. Or perhaps you had a big argument that left the two of you feeling bitter ever since.

And maybe they did take their time to have some space away from you.

But in the end, they always came back and tried to find a way to make things work. They’ll try to understand you better and come up with a compromise. 

They wouldn’t do this if they truly didn’t love you—it’s not easy being the one to always concede and try to mend bridges, after all.

Last words

Not everyone finds it easy to be open or showy with our love.

Some of us were never taught to process and express our emotions properly, and others might have had some traumatic experiences that made them uncomfortable with open displays of affection.

But there are many, subtler ways to show affection, and the 12 above are good examples.

Some might learn to open up in time, others will not. 

So instead of trying to “fix” them by teaching them how to become more “expressive”, it’s best to just try to understand them and let them express their feelings in their own ways.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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