When you first get into a relationship, trying to understand if your partner loves you can drive you crazy!
But even after you’ve been with someone for months or years, it’s common to question their love.
In a long-term relationship, that initial fuzzy feeling is long gone. The relationship becomes comfortable but also kind of stale.
It’s impossible to maintain passion and excitement all the time, and during those fruitless stages, you may wonder, “Do they still love me as much as they used to?”
The signs of love can differ when you’ve been with someone for a long time. They are more subtle and inconspicuous, but they are still there.
So, if you’re wondering if your partner is truly madly deeply in love with you or if they’re slowly losing interest, this article is for you.
Here are 7 signs that your partner is more in love with you than you think!
1) They make an effort to understand your love language
When it comes to our perception of love, we are all different.
Some people see physical touch and intimacy as confirmation of love. For others, it’s the little things they do to make our days easier.
We all have one (or more) of five love languages, a concept coined by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book.
If your partner makes an effort to learn your love language, it is an absolute game-changer for your relationship!
Why?
We tend to show our partners love in the way we like to receive it. So if we love to get gifts, we will likely shower our partner with presents.
However, if your partner’s love language differs from yours, all the money and time you spend buying or making gifts will go to waste.
So if your partner tries to understand your unique needs and shows you love in the way YOU need it, they’re setting the basis for a harmonious and loving union.
But, of course, it works both ways! You need to understand their love language, too.
For reference, here are the five love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Gifts
2) They are proactive about improving communication
We all know that communication is vital to a successful long-term relationship, yet it is something many of us struggle with.
So, one HUGE sign that your partner deeply loves you and wants to ensure you stay solid is if they make an effort to improve communication.
How?
Well, the way my partner did it was by proposing this…
Weekly meetings.
Now, hear me out…
With our busy lifestyles, most of us don’t dedicate time to sit down with our partners and talk about our needs and concerns.
I mean, how often have you tried to have a serious conversation with your partner only for them to completely shut you down because they were “too busy to talk right now”?
This is why every couple should have weekly intentionality meetings.
I’m not talking about date nights. Agree on a set time and day each week when you know you will both be available, such as Sunday mornings.
Then schedule it into your week just like you would do with any other meeting, and take it just as seriously.
So, if your partner makes a regular effort to sit down and talk with no distractions, this shows they want your relationship to last!
3) They prefer to do activities with you than alone
Just like having weekly check-ins, doing activities together is an excellent form of quality time together.
But by activity, I’m not talking about watching a Netflix series together.
I’m talking about:
- Taking a walk together
- Going to a yoga class together
- Working out together
- Starting a new hobby together
- Learning a language together
In this type of activity, you’re present and engaged with your partner.
Unlike chilling on the sofa at home, you’re less likely to be distracted by your phone or thinking about what you have to do tomorrow.
When you get out and do things with your partner, you really spend time together.
As research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology shows, doing new things together significantly strengthens your connection and sense of relationship security,
So…
If your partner is always coming up with ideas for cool things to do together, regularly encourages you to hit the gym with him, or expresses interest in your hobbies, this is a sign that he seriously loves you!
4) They always consider you when making plans
Checking in with you before making plans or decisions is a massive sign of genuine and deep love.
As David Hilton from LIFE Marriage Retreats explains, joint decision-making shows your partner prioritizes your relationship and respects your opinion.
For example…
Does your partner approach you before accepting an invitation for a business trip or weekend away with friends?
Do they ask your opinion before making a decision, even if it doesn’t directly affect you?
If yes, your partner is more in love with you than you realize.
5) They want to see you grow, but they don’t try to change you
Firstly, if your partner forces change on you, whether it’s your style, personality, or something else, this is a massive red flag.
We all have our flaws, but when we love someone, our partner’s positive qualities massively outweigh their flaws.
Therefore, one sign of true love is when our partner accepts us for who we are, the good and the bad.
However, what suggests an even deeper love is this…
Encouraging you to become the best version of yourself.
This is very different from trying to change your flaws. But sometimes, the lines between the two can seem blurry.
When someone tries to change us, they are doing it for themselves.
It could be because a bad habit of ours has started to irritate them. Or our flaws are mirroring their insecurities, triggering them.
Regardless of the specifics, when a partner starts trying to “fix” us, it is usually due to a lack of love on their part. They believe if they can get you to stop doing your annoying habits, they might feel more love toward you.
However, when someone encourages us to evolve, they do it for us.
They motivate us to overcome our challenges and build our strengths so we can find personal fulfillment and success.
They encourage us from a place of real love. Whether we do what they suggest makes no difference to them, but it could benefit us greatly.
If our partner wants to see us evolve, they will also have the following perspective…
6) They see your wins as their wins
When you’re in a healthy partnership, you see yourself as a team.
While you will still have your own goals and dreams, you also become invested in your partner’s aspirations.
Their wins are also your wins, and vice versa.
So, if your partner is genuinely in love with you, they will actively encourage you to pursue your dreams and be as happy as you are when you smash your goals.
They will mourn your losses and failures with you, and then they will be right there to pick you back up, pushing you to try again.
However, if your partner’s love is lacking, their enthusiasm and desire to see you win will be scarce.
If this is the case, they will seem indifferent when you share your successes.
They will probably also be ultra-focused on their goals, with no time, energy, or patience to help you with yours.
If that’s the case, you likely won’t notice this sign either.
7) They are willing to be selfless sometimes
Being overly selfish is not an attractive quality at all.
But for many people, unless they love someone, they will always put their needs first.
So, one easy way to determine if your partner is genuinely in love with you is to ask yourself this…
Are you always giving and never receiving?
Healthy relationships include both give and take.
While there should be a balanced dynamic, in long-term relationships, sometimes it will be temporarily one-sided.
For example, it’s normal to temporarily put the needs of a partner first in certain circumstances, like:
- They are sick or injured
- They are grieving the loss of a family member
- They are at a pivotal moment in their career
So think back to the last time something big happened in your life and you needed extra support…
- Did your partner put their needs above yours to support you?
- Did they go above and beyond to make sure you were ok?
- Did they rearrange their schedule to be by your side?
Or did they remain focused on themselves and even seem agitated that you needed extra attention?
According to relationship counselor Mara Opperman, selfish people expect you to always be there for them but act like it’s too inconvenient to repay the favor.
If you’re in a relationship with someone like this, they don’t love and appreciate you enough!
Final thoughts
Whether you’ve been with your partner for one month, one year, or one decade, it’s normal to question their love from time to time.
Relationships are incredibly complex, but these subtle signs show your partner genuinely wants to spend their life with you.
So, if you see these signs in your partner, don’t let the trivial bickering and lack of excitement cast doubt over your mind – they love you more than you realize!
