7 signs your partner loves you deeply but isn’t sure if you’re the one

Once, as a child, I remember my grandfather telling me,

“Love, my dear, is complicated. It’s not just about finding someone who loves you deeply, but someone who is sure you’re the one.”

That was then, and this is now.

Here I am, steering my way through the murky waters of love and relationships. And let me tell you, those words couldn’t be more accurate.

But you know what makes it hard?

It’s distinguishing between deep love and the certainty of being ‘the one.’

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re in a similar boat. You’re confident that your partner loves you deeply. But are they sure you’re ‘the one’? 

So, let’s dive into this together. Here are some signs to look for that reveal if your partner loves you deeply but is unsure if you’re their forever person.

1) They shower you with love but hesitate to plan the future

Your partner is all about expressing their deep love for you. The affectionate kisses, the heartfelt compliments, the warm hugs—it’s all there.

And trust me, it’s wonderful.

But then, when it comes to discussing the future, they’re a bit…hesitant?

It’s like they have a mental block against planning anything beyond next week. The idea of discussing where you both see yourselves in five years’ time is met with a vague response or a quick change of subject.

This could be a sign that while they love you deeply, they’re still unsure about whether you’re ‘the one’. They’re in love with the present but uncertain about the future.

2) They struggle with commitment

Ah, commitment. Now, that’s a word that can send shivers down anyone’s spine, isn’t it?

I experienced it firsthand with my high-school sweetheart. She was caring, affectionate, and always there for me. She loved me deeply; of that, I was sure.

But when it came to the big C—commitment—she seemed to struggle.

It wasn’t about infidelity or anything like that. It was more subtle.

Whenever the talk of settling down or moving in together came up, she’d become unusually quiet or change the subject entirely. It was as if the very idea of commitment made her uncomfortable.

If you find your partner avoiding serious talks about commitment or giving vague answers when confronted, it could be a sign. They might love you deeply but may not be sure yet if you’re ‘the one’ they want to commit to for life.

3) They are protective over their personal space

Personal space is something we all need. It’s that sacred territory where we retreat to recharge, to think, and to just be.

But sometimes, the way your partner guards their personal space can say a lot.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s perfectly normal to want some alone time. We’re all humans who need a break from socializing every now and then.

But when your partner consistently insists on keeping certain aspects of their lives separate from you, it might be a bad sign.

For instance, they might avoid introducing you to their friends or hesitate to bring you into their world. Or they might keep their plans or hobbies strictly to themselves without including you.

This could indicate that while they love you deeply, they’re not quite ready to fully integrate you into their life.

They’re keeping their personal space ‘uninvaded’, possibly because they’re unsure if you’re ‘the one’ they want to share it with.

4) They keep their emotions close to their chest

Feelings, emotions, vulnerability… These are the raw ingredients of a deep, meaningful connection.

But what if your partner seems hesitant to share theirs with you?

Now, this doesn’t mean they don’t express love or affection. Remember, we’re talking about someone who loves you deeply.

But when it comes to discussing their fears, insecurities, or deepest desires, they clam up.

For instance, they might avoid emotional discussions or give vague responses when you ask about their feelings. You might feel that there’s a part of them that they’re not letting you see.

This could be a sign that while they love you deeply, they’re unsure if you’re ‘the one’ they want to open up to completely.

5) They avoid discussing long-term plans

Avoid talking long term 7 signs your partner loves you deeply but isn't sure if you're the one

Did you know that humans are unique in their ability to think long-term?

We make plans, set goals, and imagine futures. It’s what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.

But what happens when your partner seems reluctant to discuss long-term plans with you?

They might be overjoyed to plan a weekend getaway or a surprise date night. But when it comes to discussing big life decisions like career plans, buying a house, or even adopting a pet together, they might dodge the conversation.

This reluctance to think long-term could be a sign. They love you deeply, but they might not be sure if you’re ‘the one’ they see in their future.

6) They’re hesitant to say those three words

“I love you.”

Three simple words, yet they carry the weight of the world.

They are a declaration, a promise, an assurance that we’re cherished and appreciated.

But what if your partner hesitates to say them?

Now, I understand. Expressing love verbally isn’t everyone’s forte. Some people show love through actions rather than words, and that’s perfectly okay.

However, if your partner is consistently reluctant to express their love verbally, despite showing it in their actions, it could be a sign.

They might love you deeply but may still be figuring out if you’re “the one” they want to express that love to in words.

7) They’re still finding their own way

The journey of self-discovery is lifelong.

We’re all on our own paths, figuring out who we are, what we want, and where we’re going.

If your partner seems to be on a personal journey of self-discovery, it could impact their certainty about the relationship.

They might love you deeply, but they might still be figuring out what they want from life and where you fit into that picture.

This is not a reflection of your worth or the depth of their love for you. It’s their personal journey, and all you can do is support them through it while also taking care of your own needs and desires.

Final thoughts

The uncertainty of love and relationships can be terrifying.

If you’ve connected with these signs, it’s possible that your partner loves you deeply but is unsure if you’re ‘the one’.

But remember, it’s okay.

This journey of love isn’t linear. It’s filled with twists, turns, and a lot of uncomfortable self-discoveries. It’s not a testament to your worth or the depth of their love for you. It’s merely a reflection of their own personal journey.

The most important thing is to honor your feelings and needs, too. Understand that it’s okay to seek clarity, express your uncertainties, and nurture open communication.

Stay patient and compassionate—with your partner and with yourself. Love might be complicated, but it’s also the most beautiful journey we undertake in life.

And maybe, just maybe, this uncertain path could lead to a place of deeper understanding, connection, and certainty.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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