7 signs your partner is right for everyone else — but not for you

They tick all the boxes. On paper, there’s nobody better for you.  

There are butterflies in your stomach. It feels like you’ve finally found the perfect person. 

You can celebrate your win now, right? 

Not so fast. 

Just because someone is great for you in theory doesn’t mean they’re “the one.” 

Unfortunately, the mere idea of someone doesn’t always measure up to the real thing. 

So if you want to protect yourself from trouble and potential heartache, you shouldn’t rejoice prematurely. 

In this article, I’ll go over the signs your partner is right for everyone else but not quite for you. 

Let’s get to it!

1) They thrive in social settings, you prefer solitude

While it’s true that opposites sometimes attract, if you and your partner are too fundamentally different, expect friction down the line. 

Maybe your partner is the life of the party, always up for a social gathering, and has a bigger circle of friends than your high school queen bee. 

Meanwhile, your idea of a perfect night is a quiet, intimate evening in, watching movies, eating snacks, and perhaps doing a bit of reading. 

In this case, your needs might not be met once that honeymoon period wears off, something that can leave you quietly lonely and lacking in contentment. 

Unless there is a significant compromise in lifestyle, the differences are just too stark, too great, that making it work will be an uphill battle, to say the least. 

2) Their ambition doesn’t match your lifestyle

If one of you is career-driven and ambitious and the other has a far more lax approach toward life, then this is a recipe for disaster… or at least a breakup. 

Maybe they’re often in the office till late, constantly working overtime, addicted to the grind–and you prefer a much more balanced outlook to life. 

This can be trouble, as you might eventually build mutual resentment and begin to neglect one another.

My ex grew up quite wealthy. 

She didn’t have to work often, since she lived off an allowance from her parents.

She generally enjoyed a more carefree existence, mostly staying home and watching YouTube or chatting with friends on Telegram. 

Meanwhile, I was a bit of a hustler. Sometimes, I’d work seven days a week to reach my goals. 

Hence, the differences in our regimens eventually became too obvious to ignore. 

I became resentful that I was working all week, while she was just hanging out on the sofa. 

I kept it in at first; then negative feelings gradually built up more and more until things blew over. 

I snapped, and she snapped. 

Not long after, we ended things permanently. 

It’s unfortunate, but the reality was that we were just too incompatible at that point in our lives. 

Shit happens. It wasn’t meant to be. 

3) You have different communication needs

This is a big one. 

If your communication styles are too vastly different, this isn’t a particularly sustainable setup. 

Maybe they are the type of person who communicates mostly through monosyllabic texts while you’re big on face-to-face interactions and detailed, stimulating interactions. 

If you’re someone who needs frequent and direct communication and they aren’t, this will invariably lead to feelings of disconnect–and, over time, even loneliness. 

Moral of the story? A lack of alignment in communication styles is almost always an indicator of incompatibility. 

4) They prefer practicality over romance

Perhaps you’re the hopeless romantic type, fluent in several love languages

Meanwhile, your partner is more practical and straightforward, generally avoidant of grand romantic gestures. 

Sure, this might be appealing for someone on the same page, but when your respective approaches to relationships are too vastly different, this may well be a not-so-subtle omen that things won’t work out. 

Being a Pisces, I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a romantic. 

My ex was a great person, but she wasn’t exactly the Juliet to my Romeo. 

I remember her giving me cash for my birthday one year. 

The romantic in me was quite disappointed to receive such a cold, sterile, albeit practical, gift. 

Over time, gestures like those made me feel increasingly unfulfilled. 

And though cash is certainly better than no gift, our respective approaches to romance just seemed too different for sparks to fly indefinitely. 

5) They are globally mobile, you value roots

I’m a big proponent of being mobile. 

Always have been. 

The world is a vast place with lots to see on every corner, and our time on it is limited, why confine yourself to one place? 

My mindset is not an uncommon one. 

I’ve come across many who are exhilarated by the idea of living in different countries.

If your partner has the spirit of a global adventurer, perpetually on the move, but you feel an attachment to your hometown and value close family ties, your union may not be exactly written in the stars. 

6) They enjoy material comforts, you have a minimalist lifestyle 

If you value simplicity and prefer a minimalist, low-key lifestyle, and they’re big on materialism and hoarding things, this lifestyle difference can eventually clash. 

This isn’t just a minor difference in preference. 

This speaks to your fundamental differences in values and approach to money, which will almost certainly affect your harmony as a couple at some point. It’s all but inevitable. 

7) Intellectual incompatibility

When the animalistic attraction fades (and it will), you want to be with someone in sync with you intellectually and mentally… if you want things to last.  

Perhaps your partner likes to regularly engage in deep discussions about philosophy, science, literary theory, or the state of the world.

Meanwhile, you’d rather discuss the latest happening on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. 

Or conversely, perhaps they love blockbuster action movies and video games, while you enjoy arthouse cinema and obscure Japanese silent movies. 

The latter examples point to a rather obvious discrepancy in sophistication and intellect. 

Eventually, this could become an issue. 

You may have to search elsewhere for true love. 

Final words 

Sometimes, certain couples simply aren’t meant to be. 

Neither you nor your partner are inherently bad people for your choices or preferences, but that doesn’t mean the relationship will work out. 

When we’re too different from one another, making things last is no walk in the park. 

Unless you’re content having to consistently compromise and put the time in to painstakingly make things work, then you’re better off finding someone on your wavelength. 

Deciding who you want to be with in life is perhaps the most important decision you’ll ever make. 

Choose wisely. 

Clifton Kopp

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Ideapod! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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