Ah, love. There’s nothing else like it.
Romantic love has been inspiring humans to create art as a vessel for these feelings for as long as there have been humans around to fall in love. Love is timeless, ageless, and impervious to the whims of mere mortals.
As Huey Lewis said, “The power of love is curious thing.”
Love can be fickle, frustrating, even devastatingly painful. Anyone e
mbarking on a new love quest is very brave indeed. But the potential rewards are even greater than the fear of eventual heartbreak.
But love offers many benefits – if you’re willing to put in the needed effort and understand that any challenges you face as a couple lead to growth. That’s just part of the package deal.
There’s no hard and fast litmus test to measure someone’s love for you, but these 9 signs are a solid indicator that you got yourself a keeper. Congratulations.
1)You’re the first one they turn to
It’s a great feeling to be the person that your loved one turns to whether they have good news or bad news to share. If your partner invariably turns to you in celebration or in sadness, that’s a good indicator that your person might love you more than you’re aware of.
2) They make you a priority
If your honey puts you and your relationship first, they are all in for the long haul. People always have time for what matters to them. Facts.
When your partner shows you how important you are to them in small, mundane ways (like picking up a prescription for you) or in big ways (like moving across the country or allowing you to control the TV remote), it’s their way of showing you how much they value you and your relationship.
You also probably take up a lot of bandwidth in their brain.
3) You’re always on their mind
You sang that in your head, didn’t you?
You know you did.
Anyway, when you think about the one that you love, it improves your mood and eases your stress. So those seemingly random texts during the day are proof positive you’re in your boo’s thoughts and they derive a sense of comfort from knowing you’re there for them.
In gratitude, your partner will learn your love language to give you what you want and need without you even having to articulate it.
4) They understand your love language
Does your sweetie warm your car up for you in the morning because you hate to be cold, and suggest a nice dinner out because you hate to cook? Do you hand your honey a piping hot cup of coffee every morning while telling them how much you appreciate all they do?
That’s because you’re fluent in each other’s love language.
There are five love languages which are the ways couples relationships express their love for each other. These are:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
Someone who loves you makes it their business to make your life easier and more pleasant in any way they can. They will also want you to feel safe, secure, and cared for.
5) You feel safe with them
Safety is a non-negotiable cornerstone of a successful partnership. If your other half truly loves and cherishes you, they wouldn’t dream of hurting you physically or mentally.
A stable, loving partner won’t threaten or pressure you, or cut you off from your friends and family.
Feeling safe in your relationship means the freedom to make your own decisions and express your feelings without fear of reprisal.
When sharing your goals and opinions with your partner you should feel supported (even if they don’t agree with you) as a human being. You’re accepted for who you are and loved more than you’re probably aware of.
6) They accept you for you
You and your partner may be very compatible and a lot alike, but at the end of the day, you’re still two different people. Someone who loves you won’t just accept your individuality, they’ll embrace it.
A supportive partner may offer you advice when asked, but they aren’t trying to sway your opinion or control what you do. They won’t manipulate you by withholding their affection or ‘teasing’ you until you come around to their way of thinking.
You should definitely feel comfortable enough to respectfully disagree with each other. If you’ve nurtured your lines of communication, you and your honey should almost always find some common ground.
7) Clear communication
To have a successful relationship of any kind, there must be clear communication, especially on issues that affect you as a unit.
This doesn’t mean (over)sharing every mundane thought that crosses your mind. It’s just nice to know the option’s there if you choose to exercise it, right?
Your love affair won’t always be sunshine and lollipops. Your partner will do stuff that irks the nice right out of you. Whether it’s leaving the seat up or smearing makeup all over the sink, there will be times when you find yourself less than enamored with your one and only.
This is when your friends come in handy. It’s better to vent to a friend about mundane irritations than nitpicking your sweetie about stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run.
You can’t expect to read each other’s minds, so you’ll have to hash out the issues that really do matter. A loving partner will understand how important communication is and show up to do half the heavy lifting.
Good couples’ communication skills may include:
- Discussing your feelings
- Addressing areas of conflict in your relationship
- Making physical or emotional intimacy a priority.
- Revisiting and affirming relationship boundaries
Communication isn’t easy for everyone. If your partner struggles with expressing their emotions and thoughts, this doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Their willingness to try is a more accurate measurement of their depth of feeling.
8) They trust you
Trust often blossoms alongside love as a person who loves you will probably also trust you, unless you do them dirty and betray them.
In a healthy trusting relationship, they won’t have any problems when you hang out with your friends. They won’t tail you around town like on a bad sitcom, or peruse your phone and search history.
My ex kept his phone and laptop locked up like Fort Knox. My devices were always unlocked. I had no reason for them not to be. That should’ve been the first clue that he’d end up as an ex.
This trust can be shattered if you mislead, betray, or lie to your partner. Love often remains even when trust has left the building so sometimes you can rebuild lost trust — but it takes a lot of hard work and commitment.
9) They really listen to you
If someone genuinely loves you, they’ll take an active interest in what’s going on in your life.
They listen actively and want details and a back story. These are signs someone really cares about you. Feels a lot more fuzzy than an absent-minded, ‘Wow, that’s insane’ or ‘Oh, that sucks.’
In a healthy relationship, the two people involved acknowledge the negative aspects of their association along with the positive. If you have concerns and want to discuss a relationship problem, your loving partner will take your feelings into consideration without trying to minimize them.
Long live love
Real love is most apparent in the fleeting, mundane moments that make up your day-to-day life. It’s the small things and thoughtful gestures spread over time that help a relationship grow.
Attraction can happen instantaneously. But lasting and abiding love requires a bigger commitment of time and energy.
The effort required to build a relationship with a strong foundation can be immense, but most people find that a deep, loving connection is a good return on their emotional investment.