10 signs your partner is doing the bare minimum (and you deserve better)

Ever had that feeling that you’re carrying all the weight in your relationship?

Like, you’re the one putting in all the elbow grease and your partner is just… cruising. They’re not horrible, they’re not mean, but they’re also not going above and beyond either.

Sound familiar? If it does, then there’s a chance your partner might be doing the bare minimum.

Well, here are 10 signs to watch out for. It might just open your eyes!

1) They don’t make time for you

Ever get the feeling that you’re always the one adjusting your schedule to fit theirs? You’re constantly changing plans, cancelling appointments, or juggling your time just to spend a moment with them. But do they do the same for you?

If your partner is always too busy, always has an excuse, or simply doesn’t prioritize spending quality time with you, it’s a clear sign they’re doing the bare minimum. Relationships are about give and take. If they’re not making an effort to make time for you, then it’s likely they’re not fully invested in your relationship.

Remember, you deserve someone who can’t wait to spend time with you – not someone who sees it as an obligation or an afterthought.

2) They forget important dates

So you have a big presentation at work, or it’s your birthday, or maybe it’s your anniversary – and your partner forgets. Again.

Sure, everyone forgets things sometimes. But consistently forgets, it’s a sign.

Remembering these dates shows that they’re thinking about you and value your shared experiences. If they can’t be bothered to remember, or make an effort to mark these occasions in some way, then they’re probably doing the bare minimum.

3) They don’t contribute equally

In my previous relationship, I was always the one initiating – be it planning dates, cooking meals, or even starting conversations. It was exhausting.

If your partner never takes the initiative or puts in an equal amount of effort, it’s a big red flag.

A relationship isn’t a one-person show – it’s a partnership. Both parties should contribute equally, whether it’s in terms of emotional support, household chores, financial responsibilities, or simple everyday tasks.

4) They don’t show interest in your interests

Did you know that according to relationship experts, one of the indications of a healthy relationship is when partners show genuine interest in each other’s hobbies and passions?

If your partner never shows any curiosity about your interests, or worse, dismisses them as unimportant or boring, then it’s a stark sign they’re doing the bare minimum.

In a loving relationship, your partner doesn’t have to share all your hobbies, but they should at least show some interest. They should be keen to understand why you love what you love.

5) They don’t communicate openly

Heart to heart, open communication is the lifeblood of any relationship.

If your partner often seems distant, unresponsive, or avoids deep conversations, it’s likely they are not fully committed to the relationship. Communicating openly about feelings, dreams, fears and hopes is crucial for any relationship to flourish.

When someone truly cares about you, they’ll want to share their thoughts and listen to yours. They’ll want to know your fears, your dreams, your deepest thoughts.

6) They don’t support your dreams

I remember when I landed my dream job a few years ago. I was thrilled but my partner at the time barely showed any enthusiasm. It felt like my dreams were not important to them.

In a healthy relationship, your partner should be your cheerleader, supporting you and encouraging you to chase your dreams.

7) They don’t treat you with respect

Let’s get real here. If your partner doesn’t respect you, they’re not just doing the bare minimum, they’re failing the relationship completely.

Respect is a non-negotiable in any healthy relationship. It’s about valuing each other’s feelings, thoughts, and bodies. If your partner belittles you, dismisses your feelings or violates your boundaries, it’s a glaring sign of disrespect.

You deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect – all the time. Not just when it’s convenient or when they’re in a good mood.

8) They don’t make an effort with your friends and family

Here’s an interesting fact: when a person is serious about their partner, they’ll make an effort to build relationships with their partner’s friends and family.

Take a step back and see, if your partner always avoids meeting your friends or family, or if they’re indifferent or disrespectful when they do, it’s a sign they’re doing the bare minimum.

Your loved ones are a significant part of your life, and a partner who cares about you will understand this and make an effort to integrate into your social circles.

9) They don’t apologize or admit when they’re wrong

I recall a situation in one of my past relationships where my partner would never admit when they were wrong, let alone apologize. It was like pulling teeth to get them to acknowledge any mistakes.

The thing is, both partners should be able to accept their faults and apologize when they’ve done something wrong.

10) They don’t make you feel loved or appreciated

This one is hard-hitting, but it needs to be said: if your partner doesn’t make you feel loved or appreciated, they’re not just doing the bare minimum, they’re failing entirely.

Love isn’t meant to be a guessing game. If you constantly find yourself questioning whether your partner truly cares about you, something is seriously wrong.

You deserve a partner who makes you feel cherished and valued every single day. Not someone who makes you question your worth or leaves you wondering about their feelings for you.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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