10 signs your partner doesn’t love you, according to psychology

It’s normal to be concerned about your partner’s feelings and the state of your relationship. As time goes by, what often happens is that you start taking each other for granted.

You stop saying “I love you” as often, and holding hands starts being scarce, too, among other things. 

Before you let your thoughts go rampant, let’s look at specific actions and behaviors rather than making assumptions based on emotions alone.

So, without delay, here are some of the red flags your partner doesn’t love you, according to psychology.

1) Your partner isn’t open to discussing feelings or concerns

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, don’t you agree? 

So, when partners avoid sharing thoughts and feelings, it can result in a breakdown of the emotional connection between the two. 

But where does this lack of communication stem from? Sometimes, it’s a fear of vulnerability or a perceived threat to the relationship.

Other times, it’s, as I already mentioned, taking each other for granted. You talk less and share less of what’s on your mind. 

Ultimately, if your partner isn’t open to discussing their feelings or concerns, it could signal a disconnect.

Here’s another sign of this disconnection. 

2) They seem emotionally distant or detached instead of being engaged

Emotional intimacy is vital for a strong connection. That’s why if a partner appears emotionally distant, it suggests unresolved emotional issues, past traumas, or an inability to express and share emotions. 

Sometimes, this distancing can also serve as a defense mechanism to protect themself from perceived emotional risks.

And then we can also talk about their love for you starting to wane. You can fix almost anything, but reigniting their love for you is a big job. Stick to the end of the article for more tips on that. 

3) They don’t support you

Support is yet another crucial aspect of a loving relationship. When a partner doesn’t support you during challenging times, it reveals their lack of empathy or an inability to connect emotionally. 

This could be linked to personal emotional struggles or difficulties in recognizing and addressing your and others’ needs.

If you feel that your partner isn’t providing the support you need, it’s important to address the issue openly. 

Communicate your feelings and concerns, expressing what kind of support you’re looking for. 

Be specific about your needs, and encourage an open dialogue to understand their perspective. Perhaps they don’t fully grasp your expectations, and this conversation will help clarify expectations on both sides.

4) They constantly criticize you without giving you constructive feedback

If your partner keeps pointing out what’s wrong but doesn’t offer any helpful advice or solutions, that’s really frustrating. 

It’s like hearing about the problems without getting any direction on how to make things better. 

Psychologically, people resort to criticizing others as a way to cope with their own feelings of inadequacy or to establish a sense of superiority. 

Whatever the case, it can create a negative cycle that erodes the emotional fabric of the relationship itself.

5) If they consistently avoid physical intimacy, it’s a red flag

Okay, let’s talk about something that’s just as important in every relationship – intimacy. It involves both physical and emotional closeness. 

If your partner is avoiding it, it can be a result of personal fears or even past traumas. Truth be told, they also might not find you attractive as much as they did when you were younger.

But, I find that this isn’t the case in many situations. So, again, instead of assuming, have an open conversation with your partner. But be wary of this:

pic1391 10 signs your partner doesn’t love you, according to psychology

6) They’re hiding aspects of their life or being too secretive

If they have things they’re hiding, don’t expect them to be honest with you. They’ll just tell you whatever they think you want to hear. 

Secrecy can be linked to a fear of judgment or a desire to keep control over their narrative. 

Psychologically, people keep secrets as a way to protect themselves from perceived threats or to avoid facing consequences. 

However, this behavior can undermine trust within the relationship. It can also mean they aren’t in love with you anymore, and they don’t care or want to share things with you. 

7) A lack of effort in the relationship could indicate a lack of investment

Effort is a key component in preserving a healthy and thriving bond. Both sides must actively participate in the relationship, show care, and make sure it continues to grow. 

When one partner consistently puts in minimal effort, that’s obviously not ideal. 

When they don’t make an effort for you or the relationship anymore, that often means they aren’t invested anymore. They’re on autopilot and just go through the motions. 

Could that mean they stopped loving you? Sure. It could also mean a number of other things. 

That’s why you need to look at the context and even confront them with the fact that they make zero effort. 

8) A lack of commitment or discussions about the future

The absence of discussions about the future often reflects a lack of commitment or a fear of commitment. 

Psychologically, people avoid making future plans if they have doubts about the longevity of the relationship or if they struggle with envisioning a future together.

A lack of common goals can also lead to a sense of drifting apart. That’s why you need to have at least one thing in common that will drive you to be better.

For many, it’s a kid. For others, it’s a common goal like buying a home together, helping other people, and other big things like that. 

Whatever it is, it should be big enough – a dream or an aspiration to be better together. That way, you never lack topics to talk about, and you feel like you’re moving in the right direction. 

But sometimes, one of the partners throws a wrench in the well-oiled machine. Like in the following case:

9) They exclude you from major decisions

Whether you like it or not, most of the time, you need to make decisions together. That’s just how relationships work. You’re in it together.

So when your partner stops including you in major decisions, that’s a huge red flag I’d be very worried about. 

But why does this happen all of a sudden? Exclusion from decision-making often means they don’t trust you or your judgment or that they want to take their independence back. 

Psychologically, it could also be a reflection of power dynamics within the relationship. They might have a disproportionate amount of influence, and they want to assert it all of a sudden. 

10) If problems arise, they make no effort to address them

I mess up a lot, okay? But when I do, I immediately try to make things better again and apologize. 

However, some people aren’t like that. They don’t like to admit when they’re wrong and would point fingers at others, making it their fault.

Psychologically, people who do that lack effective conflict resolution skills or avoid addressing problems due to past negative experiences with conflicts.

It could also mean they don’t care for you that much anymore. 

Final thoughts

Don’t jump the gun and assume your partner doesn’t love you just because you think they should behave in a certain way. 

Try having an open and honest conversation with them. Express your feelings and listen to their perspective.

You can also try to reignite the spark if it’s lost in translation. Bring up the happy memories you’ve shared. It helps to remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.

Say thanks by showing appreciation for the little things your partner does. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making them feel valued.

Throw in some surprises to spice things up. It could be a spontaneous date or a small, unexpected gesture to keep things exciting.

And most importantly, make time for each other. Whether it’s a cozy night in or a fun outing, spending quality time helps strengthen your bond and love for each other.

Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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