8 signs your partner doesn’t genuinely appreciate having you in their life

It’s not easy being in a one-sided connection, but it’s not hard to fall into one and not realize you’re there.

Emotions are tricky! They can make us think out of character, and sometimes loving someone can feel like it’s enough.

But not receiving the same energy you give in return can be detrimental to your mental health and damage the relationship you have with yourself over time.

You’ll feel drained before you realize what’s going on – that’s why I’m here.

Without further ado, here are 8 signs your partner doesn’t genuinely appreciate having you in their life.

1) They lack effective communication

Communication is necessary for a healthy relationship to thrive.

If your partner constantly struggles to communicate openly, express emotions, or engage in meaningful conversations, it may not directly correlate to them not caring about you.

But it does speak on their emotional availability and their willingness to provide you the space to be yourself.

Genuine appreciation involves actively listening and participating in dialogue that deepens the connection between you – without it, no level of genuineness can come about.

For example, if you open up to them about something and they have a very minimal response, you may want to reconsider the long-term prospects of this relationship.

Beyond how they respond to your efforts, if they aren’t able to provide you with clarity and reassurance, take that as a sign that they won’t be able to give you the safe space you need.

2) They don’t make the effort to spend quality time with you

Time is a valuable commodity, and how your partner chooses to spend it says a lot about their attitudes toward the relationship.

As well as their priorities!

For example, if they are so overly preoccupied with their job that they don’t think twice about canceling plans.

Or even if you’ve had to communicate this need with them many times yet they act like they need a step-by-step guide to be an attentive partner.

The reality is that relationships are work but the love you get to share with that human being is what makes it all worth it.

So if they aren’t prepared to compromise and accept that, it means they don’t understand the value of deep commitments.

Was it Marilyn Monrow two coined it; If they can’t love you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best – yeah we stand by that.

3) They don’t celebrate your accomplishments

The world is full of challenges and people who will try to dim your light.

Your partner should not be one of them,

So if you feel like your achievements go unnoticed or uncelebrated, it could be a red flag. 

For example, if your partner is reluctant to tell you how hardworking you are. Or they brush off your excitement.

Healthy relationships are built on seeing the other person clearly and thoroughly.

Simply put, a partner who genuinely appreciates all that you do will take pride in your accomplishments as if they were their own.

You deserve to be with someone who is willing to put in the work to be involved and therefore be a positive influence in your life.

4) They don’t take interest in your passions

A genuine appreciation for your partner involves taking an interest in their passions and pursuits.

Sure, you won’t always have everything in common. But it also shouldn’t be that difficult to take an interest in each other’s hobbies once in a while.

Unless their hobby is eating peanut butter and you’re allergic – what’s the big deal as long as you get to spend time together?

Not to mention, I for one can testify that I don’t need to care deeply for another individual to be curious about why they like certain things.

So your partner – someone who is supposed to empower you – can make time once in a while to do something they’re not 100% down for.

It says a lot about how they appreciate and value your individuality. As well as how they perceive certain differences between you two.

5) They criticize you often

signs youre in a toxic relationship 8 signs your partner doesn’t genuinely appreciate having you in their life

Constructive feedback is a part of any relationship, but constant criticism can be detrimental.

If your partner nitpicks at even the smallest of mistakes or differences you have, they aren’t understanding how much of a negative influence that can have on somebody.

And compromise and accepting each other’s flaws is a part of building a long-lasting relationship.

Because while you shouldn’t let anyone walk all over you, the ability to look at the big picture and discern the important things from the petty is a sign of maturity.

I mean, how else are you supposed to grow together if one party just expects the other to adapt?

So this is about them not genuinely appreciating you, as much as it is about them being ready to share a life with someone else.

6) They don’t allow you to be a part of their life

Earlier, we talked about how problems can arise from your partner not wanting to get to know your interests more.

In this case, it’s the opposite where they don’t include you to be a part of their world.

For example, if you have been together for a year, let’s say, and they still aren’t willing to let you meet their family or close friends.

In a healthy connection, these opportunities are seen as milestones in becoming closer together. It’s a chance for you to share the love in your respective social circles.

This also applies to how you speak of future plans together.

If they are constantly avoiding conversations that could lead to larger commitments, it’s a sign they don’t genuinely appreciate you.

But rather, see you as someone that they only want to benefit from in the present.

7) They keep secrets from you

Without trust, appreciation can’t flourish in any kind of relationship.

If you feel blindsided by your partner often, that’s a huge sign they don’t care for your emotional well-being.

Because the truth is, someone who values you will make the effort to make you feel comfortable. You won’t have to ask them for the truth – they’ll already have it ready for you.

For example, if they have a financial problem and they are doing the most to hide it. It creates a barrier between you and them.

Not only that, but the relationship and the future of it.

This can cause so much strain and anyone who appreciates you wouldn’t put you in a position of worry like that.

8) They don’t apologize or make amends

Conflicts are inevitable and are even great opportunities for growth in relationships.

However, the ability to apologize and make amends needs to be present – which can only be possible if you are emotionally mature enough to take accountability for yourself.

We can only meet others as deeply as we’ve met ourselves. And our relationships will only be as deep as the relationship we have with ourselves.

So if a person lacks the maturity to appreciate their own growth, how can you expect them to show it to another?

Trust that even if someone doesn’t fully understand your side of the story, anyone that genuinely loves and appreciates you will be able to approach the situation with an open-mind.

Because arguments shouldn’t feel degrading and making amends shouldn’t feel one-sided.

At the end of the day, the biggest sign is if you don’t feel valued.

If you consider yourself to be a discerning person – meaning you are able to meet your own needs and don’t seek them from others – you are more than equipped to trust yourself.

So if you simply don’t feel appreciated, there’s room to explore those emotions.

I stress this because it can be hard to trust these kinds of feelings when you care about someone.

Admitting that they don’t feel the same can be difficult.

So take your time to sit with this and make sure you reach out for support from your other loved ones.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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