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22 undeniable signs your married best friend is in love with you (complete guide)

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Friendships are important, and it’s great to know that you have someone there for you when times are tough.

But guess what? Friendships can sometimes become complicated.

You may think it’s impossible to feel that way about someone who isn’t your spouse or significant other, but it happens more often than you think!

So, are you wondering if your married best friend is in love with you? But maybe you don’t know that for sure.

Here are 22 surefire signs that they may be in love with you.

1) They don’t want to be around you as much

You might find it a bit surprising, but if your married best friend doesn’t want to be around you as much, it could mean that they’re trying to avoid you.

But why would your best friend try to avoid you? What is the reason behind this strange behavior?

In simple words, if this is the case, it could be because they’re trying to hide their true feelings for you.

They feel an attraction towards you, but they don’t want to make it obvious to you. They’re afraid of losing your friendship if you find out about their true emotions.

But you know what?

Deep down, they’re struggling because of the love they feel for you. And they can’t help it.

2) They look at you differently

Have you ever noticed the strange, new way your best friend looks at you?

Do you see that all of a sudden their behavior towards you has changed?

They seem to be giving you odd glances, and they’re trying to find ways to get close to you.

Is this because they’re attracted to you? Or is it because they have feelings for you that go beyond friendship?

You may not be able to answer this question. But if your best friend is looking at you in a new way, it could mean that their feelings for you are changing.

If this sounds familiar, then this is a pretty good sign that they might be in love with you.

When you look at someone in a different way, it usually means that your feelings towards them have changed. You might not be aware of it, but unconsciously, it’s what’s going on.

Why does this happen?

Because when you fall in love with someone, the way you see them changes. It’s hard to explain what this feeling is like, but if your best friend is looking at you differently, there’s definitely a reason behind it.

3) They try to act like a hero around you

Sometimes when people want to impress us, they start acting like real heroes.

If this is the case, your married best friend may be feeling the need to win your affection, and they think that if they can act like a hero around you, it will help them to do so.

But why do they feel the need to impress you so much?

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

4) They’re jealous of your other friends

Can I be totally honest with you?

If your married best friend is acting weird and distant towards you, there’s a good chance that they’re jealous of the other people in your life.

I know, it sounds a bit strange because you and your married best friend have always been close. But the fact is, this doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be closer than ever.

A man who is falling in love with you will feel threatened by other people in your life because he wants to be the most important person in your life. This is especially true if he knows that you might have feelings for him too.

Still, sometimes they want to hide their jealousy.

But trust me, if you notice other signs above, then if your best friend is always trying to make it seem like they’re not jealous of the time you spend with other people, they may be lying.

And if they’re always saying that they don’t mind if you hang out with other people. But you know what?

Deep down inside, they’re feeling something different, then this could mean that they might be jealous of the time you spend with others and that they don’t want them to take your attention away from them.

5) They avoid talking about their spouse or significant other around you

When was the last time your married best friend said something about their spouse around you?

Do you notice they talk about them less frequently?

But they used to share their concerns about them, didn’t they?

Chances are that this sounds familiar to you.

The truth is that if they’re avoiding talking about their spouse around you, this could mean that they’re trying to hide something from you.

They might be trying to avoid talking about their spouse because they’re not sure if you have feelings for them. And if you do, it could make them feel nervous or uncomfortable.

I know this may sound a bit extreme, but it does happen sometimes. If your married best friend is acting distant towards you, then try talking about their spouse or significant other around them and see how they react.

If they become more distant than ever, then there’s a good chance that they’re falling in love with you and are afraid of hurting your feelings by revealing their true feelings for you.

6) They ask questions about your private life

Yes, it’s true that you always used to share your private life with your best friend. But if you notice that lately, they’re asking you about your private life more often than usual, then this could be an indication that they’re falling in love with you.

Now you might be thinking that sometimes it’s normal for your best friend to ask questions about your private life. But just think about it for a moment.

How often do they ask you about your private life?

It’s not normal for them to ask you about your private life every day.

Yes, they’re just curious or maybe they want to learn something new from you. But if they start asking you more questions about who you like and what you do with your private life and they start asking you more often than usual, then this could mean that they are falling in love with you.

7) They’re more affectionate towards you than usual

Ever wondered why they act more affectionate towards you than usual?

Maybe it’s because they’re falling in love with you. Or maybe they’re already in love with you and just realized the fact.

Yes, sometimes it’s not easy to tell if you really have feelings towards someone. Especially if you have a husband or a wife.

Still not convinced?

Just like that, imagine yourself in their place and you’ll understand how they feel.

The truth is that if they’re being more affectionate towards you than usual, then this could mean that they might be falling in love with you. But remember, it’s not always the case.

But remember: if your best friend is doing this just to help you out because of some difficulties that you’re facing in your life, then don’t worry about it too much.

Still, they may be trying to show you how much they care about you by being affectionate towards you in front of others.

And if this is the case, then it could mean that they may be falling in love with you and not being able to tell the truth about their feelings because they don’t want to lose the chance to feel good when they’re with you.

I learned this from one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology – Carlos Cavallo.

In this excellent free video, Carlos explains exactly what men want from a relationship and it’s actually quite simple:

They just want to feel good around the woman they’re with.

To find out how to do this, check out his free video here.

8) They’re uncomfortable when you talk about your love interests

Believe it or not, if your married best friend is uncomfortable when you talk about your love interests, they’re highly likely falling in love with you.

Why? Because they’re afraid that they might lose the chance to be with you all the time.

They perceive other people in their lives as their rivals. And when this happens, they tend to be more jealous and insecure than they usually are.

That’s why when you talk about your love interests, your best friend will try to avoid you by being a little bit distant.

But you should know that the real reason behind this behavior is that their attitude towards you has completely changed and they’re in love with you.

9) They start avoiding you

One of the signs that your married best friend is falling in love with you is if they start avoiding you.

They try to avoid you by making excuses, like suddenly being busy all the time.

The result?

They are kind of distant and stand-offish.

But hang on a minute.

Why do they start to avoid you if they are in love with you? Shouldn’t they try to be closer to you instead?

The answer is that they’re afraid that you might realize that they’re falling in love with you.

But they are married, don’t they?

That’s why they’re afraid that you wouldn’t accept their feelings, not to mention that they’re also your friends and have a different kind of relationship.

In simple words, your friend who likes you doesn’t want to ruin the friendship that they have with you.

They’re also scared of rejection and are worried about how this would affect their relationship with other friends.

And besides, they might also be worried about their spouse’s reaction.

And this is the reason they’re pulling back.

That’s why they try to avoid you by not being around you as much as they used to be before.

10) They invite you over only when their spouse isn’t around

Let me say this straight up.

If your married best friend invites you over for a nice home-cooked meal and then asks you to leave before their spouse arrives, that’s a sure sign that they are in love with you.

Yes, this is how they act when they’re alone with you.

They want the same kind of attention and love that they get from their spouse when they’re alone with them.

That’s why they don’t want you around during these times. They might feel guilty about this, especially if it’s a new relationship, but they just don’t have an option as far as their spouse is concerned.

To make matters worse, they might also be afraid that their spouse would see them talking to you and that their spouse might then get jealous.

I’ll tell you what though.

When they are alone with you, you can bet that they won’t be able to control themselves and get intimate with you.

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, let me tell you that this is a very common scenario in real life when married people fall in love.

And there are some very interesting things that happen when this happens and the spouse is not there.

11) They think of you as their soulmate

Do you believe in soulmates? If so, have you ever thought about your best friend as your soulmate?

If you’ve ever felt like this, then it means that you also have different feelings towards your best friend.

But what if they are the only ones who consider you as their soulmate? And surprisingly enough, they say it out loud.

Well, in real life, there is a possibility that your married best friend is falling in love with you and that he/she is trying to convince himself/herself that they are your soulmate. And they might even think that you might be falling in love with them too.

And this is something that can happen when someone falls in love with you and they want to make sure that their feelings don’t go away.

This is also why they try to keep you away from other people; it’s a way for them to feel more secure about their feelings towards you, and it’s also a way for them to make sure that their feelings won’t go away because of the people around them.

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But what if they truly are your soulmates?

How can you find out for certain that they’re your soulmate?

Here’s the thing:

We can spend a lot of time and emotion chasing the wrong person – finding your true soulmate isn’t easy.

But what if there was a way to know for sure?

I’ve just stumbled upon a way to do this…  a professional psychic artist who can draw a sketch of what your soulmate looks like.

I wouldn’t normally try something like this, but my friend convinced me to try it out a few weeks ago.

The crazy thing was I recognized him straight away. The sketch was scarily clear and accurate.

If you’re ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.

12) They start to change their behavior towards you

You might have noticed the changes in their behavior towards you. If this is the case, then it’s highly likely that your married best friend is falling in love with you and he/she will do anything to keep his/her feelings hidden from you.

They’ll start acting distant and distant from each other, even though it’s just a matter of time until they confess their feelings to each other.

But are they ever going to really confess what they feel?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the answer isn’t always positive because they aren’t really sure about their feelings. And also, they aren’t sure about the way they can tell you about this.

And that’s why their behavior seems to be changing.

13) They start to get possessive of you

You might have noticed that they are getting jealous and possessive of you. In fact, they try to keep you away from your friends and other people in your life.

Their jealousy will grow the more they get to know you and they will want to keep you away from your other friends as well.

In fact, their possessiveness might make them even suspicious of your social relationships.

This is a very strange thing to happen in real life because it’s not like they want to keep you away from them. In fact, they want to be close to you and have you as part of their lives.

But why do they get possessive? What do they want from you?

The truth is that they are afraid that you might leave them.

They are afraid that you might be interested in someone else and that this other person might have more of a chance with you than they do.

So they try to keep you away from other people because it’s a way for them to prove to themselves that you love them the most and that there is no one else out there for you but them.

Still, they know they can’t be with you which makes things even more complicated.

14) They make jokes about being your boyfriend/girlfriend

At a first glance, there’s nothing wrong with making jokes with your best friend.

In fact, it’s something that most friends do.

But what happens when your best friend starts making jokes with you about being in a relationship with you?

Well, it’s something that might have been a cute thing to do in the beginning, but as time passes, things become more and more confusing.

Why? Because they aren’t sure about their feelings for you and they want to keep them hidden from you at all costs.

That’s why they joke.

However, when you start to wonder if they are joking or not, things might become a bit complicated.

And that’s because their joking is actually based on their feelings for you and the fact that they want to be with you.

They say this because it’s the only way for them to make you believe that there is no one else in the world for them but you.

And this desire is so strong that they might even joke about it in front of their friends and family which makes things even worse between them and your friends.

In this situation, your married best friend will do everything to keep his/her feelings away from you because he/she doesn’t want to lose you.

15) They stare at you all of a sudden

How many times have you noticed your married best friend staring at you?

Admit it. I’ve been there too.

It happens all of a sudden, and it’s something that can be really uncomfortable.

What it means is that they want to talk to you, but they don’t know how.

They are stuck between wanting to talk to you and the fact that they don’t want you to think badly of them.

So instead of talking, they stare at you which is the only way for them to express their feelings without having any negative consequences.

But how can you find out why they do this?

The answer is simple: you should try to trigger their hero instinct.

This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When your best friend feels respected, useful, and needed, they’re more likely to express their real feelings.

And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.

You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

16) There’s a lot of tension in the air whenever you two get together or talk on the phone

Now you might be wondering what this is all about.

Well, it’s a lot more than you think.

It is actually a sign of how close your married best friend and you are to each other.

And when this happens, it’s the best feeling in the world, but when it doesn’t happen and the atmosphere around you is tense, that means that something is wrong.

The way to deal with this situation is by simply being there for your best friend and giving him/her a hug whenever he/she needs one.

But guess what?

This is only a short-term solution. What you really need to do to make things better between you two is to talk to them.

And if you’re lucky enough, they might even open up to you about whatever they are thinking at the moment which will lead to an even better conversation between the two of you.

17) They often speak about your past time together

Your best friend starts conversations with “I was thinking about that time when…” or “we used to do this or that together all the time.”

Sounds like them?

Then, this is a sign that they miss you, and it’s also a sign of how much they care about you.

They’re not only talking about your past time together, but they’re also looking back at what made them fall in love with you in the first place.

In other words, they’re remembering why they fell in love with you when they were teenagers.

It’s really touching to see how much their feelings for you have changed since then and how much better everything between the two of you has gotten since then.

So what should you do?

You don’t have to talk about your past all the time, but you should definitely make an effort to bring up the things you did together in the past.

It might sound cheesy, but it really works. Try it out and see for yourself.

18) They want to spend everyday with you whenever possible

Your best friend wants to spend every single day with you whenever possible.

This will make them feel happy and content, knowing that they are spending time with their best friend, who means a lot to them.

Think about this for a moment.

Of course, this feeling will only last for as long as the two of you are still together because when one of them loses their partner, they would like to be able to spend some time alone with that person.

And if this is the case, be ready because this is another sign that things between the two are going to get more complicated. Why?

Because your married best friend is probably in love with you.

19) Your married best friend is always complaining about their significant other

Once their behavior changes towards you, they start complaining about their significant other.

Yes, it’s normal to complain \about things that concern you and your best friend.

But they complain about their significant other totally out of character, don’t they?

That’s why you should start thinking that they are probably in love with you and that they are also experiencing a little bit of jealousy towards their significant other.

This is a sign that they’re jealous and this is why they’re complaining.

They are clearly not happy with the way their significant other treats them, so they want to vent their anger and frustration on you.

Of course, it’s always best to avoid getting into these kinds of conversations because they can be very uncomfortable, but if this is the case, try to make your best friend understand that you don’t feel the same way about them compared to their significant other.

In short, they’re not just your best friends anymore. They want something more. And chances are that they’re going to get what they need in some way.

20) They don’t want to do the things they used to do together anymore

If you’re married and you used to go out with your best friend, and now you’re not going out anymore, chances are that they don’t want to do the things they used to do together anymore.

Why does this happen?

Because, back then, they perceived you as their best friend. But now, since things have changed, they don’t want to do the same things with you.

Now, they want something more. They want to be with you.

They don’t want to hang out with their best friend anymore because they’re not really interested in being friends anymore. They are interested in being in a relationship with you instead of their spouses.

21) They’re really into your life

If your best friend has started to get really into your life and they start to ask a lot of questions about your life, chances are that they want something more than what they currently have.

Although you enjoy sharing personal details with them, at some point their behavior might get a little bit too much.

And you don[‘t want to ruin your friendship, so you try to change the subject and get them to focus on what they’re supposed to be doing.

But they don’t want to talk about your life, they want something more, or they want to know what’s going on in your life. They are genuinely interested in you and your life.

But it’s frustrating, isn’t it?

So, in order to keep them at bay, you might want to start asking them the same questions about their lives instead of telling them everything.

22) They compliment you all the time

Now you might say that friends often complement each other, and it’s normal.

And I agree with you, but what about telling you compliments all the time?

And even more – they make you feel uncomfortable because they do it too much.

It seems that they are genuinely interested in you, but they don’t want to be just friends. So, they keep telling you things like “you’re so beautiful” or “I love the way you dress,” or things like that.

The reason?

They want to make you realize what you mean to them. Or they want to take your relationship to a new level.

Whatever is the reason, remember: even though it might be normal to hear that kind of compliment from a friend, it’s not normal to hear them say these things all the time.

So, you might want to try and avoid going out with them when this happens. When things are not going well for you and your best friend starts complimenting you all the time, try to avoid going out with them so that it doesn’t happen anymore.

Final words

By now you should have a better idea of the signs your married best friend is in love with you.

So if you want a relationship with them too, the key now is getting through to them in a way that empowers both of you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, they’ll see you as the only one. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

How this one revelation changed my love life

It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…

I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.

I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.

I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.

If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.

Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.

I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.

We do this by promoting his masterclasses.

One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.

Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.

==> Check it out here.

Best wishes,
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder

Written by Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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