14 signs your boyfriend is done with you (and what to do to change his mind)

Time to buckle down, ladies.

If you’re reading this, chances are high that you’ve started to notice some bothersome behavior from your boyfriend.

Or, maybe it’s just a feeling deep inside your gut telling you something just isn’t right.

Either way – get ready for the hard truth about what might be going on with him and what steps you can take to turn things around!

Here are 14 signs your boyfriend is done with you (and what to do to change his mind):

1) You can’t remember the last time he opened up to you

When was the last time your boyfriend opened up to you?

Think back – it might have been weeks ago. If you can’t remember the last time he opened up, it might be that your relationship isn’t as strong as it used to be.

Let me explain:

When you’re in a relationship, you should be able to talk to each other about anything. That includes your insecurities and your worries.

If that spirit of openness is suddenly missing from your relationship, it means your boyfriend is feeling a bit more distant.

Why? Was it something that you did?

Well, that’s for you to find out. Or, in case you already know that you did something to upset him, then you need to get that situation fixed as soon as possible.

The point is: If your boyfriend isn’t opening up to you anymore, it’s not a good sign. He might be losing interest in your relationship – or already has.

What can you do about it?

You could try to open up to him about something and see where that goes. Maybe if you show him your vulnerable side again, he’ll start opening up to you again.

2) He is avoiding you lately; no doubt about it

done5 14 signs your boyfriend is done with you (and what to do to change his mind)

Look: if your boyfriend is avoiding you, he might be done with you.

But why doesn’t he just say so?

Well, most men hate confrontations. They want to skip them.

They don’t want to talk about their feelings, what bothers them, and all the little things that escalate in arguments. They just want to escape.

So, if he says he’s busy, not feeling well, or in a hurry to go to the gym; he’s avoiding you.

Even if he says that he simply can’t get time for you – he’s still avoiding you.

Most likely, it means that your relationship isn’t where it used to be: it’s not as close, intimate, or strong as it used to be.

What can you do about it?

Try to talk to him about it.

Or, if that’s too hard to handle, invite him somewhere he can’t refuse to go. Use your creativity and come up with an activity that will compel him to spend time with you.

3) Want advice specific to your situation?

While the signs in this article will help you find out if your boyfriend is done with you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like not knowing where things stand with their partners. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) Your boyfriend is no longer affectionate with you

Numerous relationship advisers agree that being affectionate is a clear sign of love.

So, if your boyfriend gives you less affection these days, it means that he’s losing interest in your relationship and he could be done with you.

However, when you reflect upon this point, don’t consider the signs of physical affection only.

Did you know there is more than one type of affection?

Here’s the list:

  • Physical affection;
  • Verbal affection;
  • Emotional affection.

In other words, if he …

… stopped touching you, then he might be done with you.

… stopped talking to you tenderly – it means he’s not being affectionate any longer.

… stopped being emotionally available to you – it’s not a sign of affection either.

So if your boyfriend has been showing signs of affection that include physical touch (or even sex), and all of a sudden he starts avoiding them too – then, he might be done with you.

What can you do about it?

Instead of taking this situation as a defeat, use it as your opportunity to become more affectionate with him.

Maybe the reason he’s no longer affectionate is that you’ve been cold and distant with him, too.

In that case, show him some love and affection; remind him that you are interested in him.

5) Your boyfriend is not interested in having sex

done4 14 signs your boyfriend is done with you (and what to do to change his mind)

Just as being affectionate in a romantic relationship is important because of multiple reasons, so is having sex.

Your intimate life is just as important as any other aspect of your relationship. Here’s why:

  • Because having sex is not only pleasurable, but it also promotes intimacy.
  • Because numerous so-called pleasure hormones are released before, during, and after sex.
  • Because lust shows that two people are physically attracted to each other.

So, one sign your boyfriend is done with you is when he no longer desires you sexually. He no longer shows interest in doing anything sexual with you.

On top of that, he stopped responding positively to everything you used to do to turn him on.

What can you do about it?

To spice things up in your relationship, you have to first remember that your boyfriend is a guy and you can seduce him.

Just use your femininity and play a sex game with him to entice him.

6) He started ignoring your feelings at a certain point

Make no mistake about it: if your boyfriend ignores your feelings, it’s a very big deal.

If he started going through life without showing any concern for your feelings, it means he doesn’t care about you as much anymore.

He might be done with you.

You see, in relationships, it’s important to take care of each other’s feelings. You should be there to listen and comfort each other when things go wrong.

That’s what close couples do – they are always there for each other and don’t ignore each other’s feelings.

What to do about it?

The best thing you can do is to start talking about how you feel in your relationship.

Ask for his help; talk about your concerns – tell him it’s a problem for you and he should be concerned as well.

Don’t forget: if he truly cares about you and your feelings, he’ll listen to what you have to say and will stop ignoring your feelings altogether.

7) Your boyfriend seems like he wants to pick up fights

done1 14 signs your boyfriend is done with you (and what to do to change his mind)

If you have been dating for a while, you are bound to disagree with each other from time to time. That’s perfectly fine. In fact, it’s healthy.

But if your boyfriend constantly seems like he wants to pick a fight with you, then there is probably some bigger issue at play and he might be done with you.

Remember: relationships don’t work if two people are always fighting; it just makes sense for them not to be together anymore.

With this in mind, if your boyfriend always seems like he wants to pick fights with you, and you can’t really put your finger on it, then perhaps that’s a sign of something bigger going on.

Who knows, maybe you did something to upset him and he doesn’t know how to tell you. In this case, if you think this is why he’s picking fights, then you need to get that situation fixed as soon as possible.

What to do about it?

Simply stop arguing with him. When he sees that you are not as aggressive as you used to be, he will likely change his attitude as well.

8) Your boyfriend takes his sweet time to reply

Want to know another sign that your boyfriend is done with you?

It’s a simple one, really – but still so important. Your boyfriend doesn’t reply to your calls or texts as fast as he used to.

If your boyfriend takes a while to respond when you ask him something, it could mean that he doesn’t care about you anymore.

How so?

Well, he could simply be too busy to get back to you whenever you need him.

He could be out of town or busy at work.

Or there could be something much more serious going on.

What to do about it?

Pull away a bit yourself. It will give him the hint that you are noticing the change in his behavior.

However, if you still don’t get a response from him, and this doesn’t improve within a reasonable period of time, then it’s important to try another solution.

9) You caught him flirting with other girls

Listen, it’s normal for men to check out other women. They are just doing what comes naturally.

But if you catch your boyfriend flirting with other women, he might be done with you – or he doesn’t love you anymore, or he’s unhappy in the relationship.

Are you sure he was flirting or are you imagining things?

If you are sure he was flirting, then you should be aware that this could mean he doesn’t love you anymore.

Remember, men do what they do, and they don’t always know what they are doing or why they are doing it!

He might not necessarily be flirting with other girls; he might just be striking up a conversation with them. Even so, if this is something that he didn’t use to do, then there is a chance that something might be up.

What to do about it?

Remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place. Flirt with him as you did at the beginning of your relationship.

In addition, don’t show him that you’re jealous. Focus on challenging him and teasing him in a playful way.

10) You caught him lurking on dating websites

Here’s another way to look at it: if you’ve caught your boyfriend lurking on dating websites, he could be done with you.

While we can’t deny that this is not definite proof that he’s done with the relationship, it’s definitely a sign that something is wrong and that he might be finding a way out.

Why else would he be on these dating sites?

If he wasn’t trying to find someone new, then he wouldn’t be on any of these sites. He would be spending his time with you instead.

What to do about it?

This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to commit to you on a different level, not look for someone else.

And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.

All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your boyfriend.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

11) You are not his priority anymore

done2 14 signs your boyfriend is done with you (and what to do to change his mind)

This sign goes like this: you are not his number 1 priority anymore.

You see, men fight for their women. They will go to great lengths to keep them happy. They will make sacrifices for them. They will do anything to ensure that they are safe and sound.

But if he no longer puts you at the top of his priorities, he might be done with you.

He might be looking for a way out of the relationship, or he might be finding any excuse to leave you.

The main idea here is that he is no longer putting you first and foremost in his life.

What to do about it?

First of all, don’t give up!

Second, show him he’s still a priority for you. Maybe he simply needs a reminder.

12) Your boyfriend started lying to you

Be honest, is he lying to you?

If he started lying to you, and you know for sure that he is not telling the truth, then that’s definitely a sign that something is wrong with his relationship with you.


Because he is no longer truthful with you about things that you should know. He might be lying to you about something small and inconsequential, or he could be lying to you about something even bigger.

Either way, it’s a sign that there is something wrong and that he might be done with you.

What to do about it?

Don’t push the situation. Give him some time to think and to come clean on his own.

It might take him a while, but perhaps once he calms down and things start making sense for him again, he’ll realize that you are worth it, and he needs to work out his issues with you.

13) Your instinct tells you so

Do you have a feeling deep inside of you, a primal feeling that something is just not right with your relationship?

Well, you might be right! How so?

You see, when you have a gut feeling that something is wrong in a relationship, that’s the beginning of the end.

But why?

Your instinct works like this: it gathers information every time you interact with another person.

Every time you interact with another person, your brain will record both the good and bad things about them. So if there is something that’s not right, you might get a feeling without knowing why.

What’s more, you might be aware of a deeper issue in your relationship and it will not be obvious to you – but you will instinctively know.

What to do about it?

Look into it!

Don’t ignore it, or you might miss an opportunity to make things right again with your boyfriend!

14) He doesn’t want to make plans with you anymore

Want more proof?

Well, if he doesn’t want to make plans with you anymore, that could be a sign he is done with you.

But first, let’s make sure of something:

We’re talking about small plans here, not fancy trips or vacations abroad. A small plan could be something like going to the movies. No big deal.

Now, if he isn’t making plans with you anymore, it could be because he is secretly looking for a way out. Or it could be because he doesn’t love you anymore and he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

Either way, it’s not good news if your boyfriend doesn’t want to make plans with you anymore.

What to do about it?

Changing your relationship with your boyfriend is never easy. But if you keep a positive attitude, and if you remain patient, change can happen!

It might take time, but it can definitely happen. You just have to be ok with it!

Your boyfriend is done with you. What now?

The signs point to a sad truth: your boyfriend is done with you.

So what can you do to resolve this?

Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.

Click here to watch his excellent free video.


Picture of Daniela Duca Damian

Daniela Duca Damian

I’m Daniela, a passionate writer with an academic background in journalism. My work is based on research and facts. In recent years I have focused on the study of interpersonal relationships, analyzing, and writing about aspects related to social connections, romantic relationships, but also personal development. My goal is to decipher the most confusing concepts so that anyone who is interested in living a better and fulfilled life can apply them. When I’m not writing, I challenge my friends with meaningful questions about life.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.