9 signs you were the black sheep in the family (and why that’s okay)

Typically, when someone doesn’t quite fit the mold or expectations set by their family, they’re labeled as the black sheep.

But there are many other reasons that lead to that. Career decisions, relationships, lifestyle choices, different values and beliefs, misunderstandings, and even jealousy or envy get you this label in no time. 

Being the black sheep isn’t always easy, but if you embrace your uniqueness and stay true to yourself, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

So, let’s look at the signs you were the black sheep in the family and why that’s okay.

1) Your thing wasn’t their thing

I always felt like the black sheep in my family. I was eight years younger than my siblings, as my parents had me in their mid-thirties. 

As such, I naturally didn’t have that much in common with the rest of them. And that continued as I grew older and my priorities didn’t align with my family’s. 

While they valued stability and tradition, I was always more focused on freedom and personal growth. I wanted to travel and see the world. 

While they preferred group activities, I was perfectly fine doing my own thing.

So, if you’re like me and always had a strong sense of independence from a young age, you too are a black sheep. 

Especially if your hobbies and passions were like a whole different world compared to what your family was into. 

While they might have been into sports or cooking, you were more into something like painting or skateboarding, right? 

2) Rules were more like suggestions for you

For many black sheep, rules are more like suggestions. That’s why, if you’re one too, you didn’t always follow the family’s strict guidelines, and sometimes you pushed the boundaries just because you could.

Whether it was curfew times, household chores, or other family rules, you tended to see them as flexible guidelines rather than strict mandates. 

Your rebellious spirit might have clashed with the more structured approach of your family, but hey, that’s just how you rolled.

On the other hand, I have a friend whose parents were hippies, and he never liked that lifestyle and is now an office drone. To each their own. 

And that’s okay. Having a bit of flexibility allowed you to explore your own boundaries, learn from your experiences, and grow as a person.

Plus, it shows that you weren’t afraid to think for yourself and challenge the status quo when necessary. 

But that also meant that they were often pointing at you as an example of what not to do. 

3) You were the benchmark for what not to do

If you had siblings, you were often compared to them as the measure of what not to do. It could be frustrating, but it also reinforced your sense of individuality.

Yeah, it might sound a bit harsh, but being the benchmark for what not to do isn’t always a bad thing.

Your experiences, both good and bad, served as valuable lessons for your siblings or relatives, helping them go through similar situations with a bit more wisdom and insight. 

So yeah, being the “what not to do” example isn’t ideal, but it’s not the end of the world either. 

It also doesn’t always mean you’re on the wrong track. Sometimes, it just means you’re on a different one.

4) They had plenty of “suggestions” for you

Your family wasn’t shy about giving you advice, whether you asked for it or not. They saw you as the one who needed a little extra guidance to stay on the right track.

But at times, it felt like you couldn’t make a move without someone chiming in with their two cents. 

While their intentions were usually good, it sometimes felt like you were constantly under a microscope, with every decision scrutinized.

You learned to sift through the advice, take what resonated with you, and disregard what didn’t quite fit your vision for yourself.

Still, your family wanted to see you thrive and succeed, and their advice was often rooted in their own experiences and desire to help you out.

5) They actually called you the black sheep

pic2294 9 signs you were the black sheep in the family (and why that's okay)

They didn’t beat around the bush about it, either. Your family didn’t hesitate to label you as the black sheep, sometimes even outright saying it. 

Sometimes, they said it for fun, as a way to tease you. Other times, it was more serious, highlighting the fact that you stood out from the rest of the family in some way. 

Whatever the case, being labeled the black sheep felt like it was stamped on your forehead, right? It could be tough to shake off, but you learned to embrace it as part of who you are.

If you’re anything like me, being the black sheep gave you the freedom to explore who you are without feeling constrained by expectations or norms. 

It allowed you to adopt your individuality and carve out your own path in life, even if it was or still is different from what others expected of you.

6) Your crew didn’t fit the family mold

Most families and parents, in particular, have certain expectations or ideas about the types of people you should be hanging out with. But despite that, my friends were a whole different story.

Simply put, they didn’t fit the mold of what my family expected. They were from different backgrounds and had other interests, but they were my tribe. Needless to say, we were quite wild.

Sure, my family raised a few eyebrows and made some comments about my choice of friends, but at the end of the day, my crew was my chosen family. The ones who got me and supported me.

7) Family gatherings felt like a mismatch

Family gatherings felt like a mismatch because your interests, beliefs, or even your sense of humor didn’t sync up with everyone else’s vibe.

That’s why they also often included a healthy dose of teasing. It was all in good fun (mostly), but it highlighted your differences.

For example, family discussions about politics or religion were often tense, especially if your views differed a lot from those of your relatives. 

For your sake, you preferred to avoid these topics altogether to prevent conflict, resulting in feeling isolated during these conversations.

Plus, when you’re at a different life stage compared to your siblings or cousins – whether you’re younger or older, single or married, with or without children – your priorities and experiences don’t align with those of your family members, creating a sense of disconnect.

8) Your fashion sense was a little offbeat for the fam

Your fashion sense was all about expressing your unique personality and style, even if it meant standing out from the crowd. 

While your family favored more traditional or classic clothing choices, you were all about rocking whatever made you feel comfortable and confident. 

Whether it was bold colors, quirky patterns, vintage finds, or DIY creations, you embraced your individuality through your wardrobe.

For you, fashion wasn’t just about following trends. It was more a form of self-expression and creativity. And hey, who wants to blend in when you were born to stand out, right?

9) Life took you on a unique route

And the last sign you were/are a black sheep in the family is if life took you on a different path compared to your family members. 

While they’ve followed a conventional route, you forged your own way, paving new roads and discovering new horizons along the way.

When it came to your job, you didn’t settle for the typical 9-to-5 gig like everyone else. Instead, you went after something that really spoke to you, even if it wasn’t what your family had in mind. 

It might’ve seemed kinda out there or unconventional, but it felt right to you, and that’s what mattered most.

Along the way, you faced your fair share of challenges and bumps in the road. But you also discovered new opportunities and learned a ton about yourself in the process. 

It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but you wouldn’t trade your unique journey for anything else.

Final thoughts

Being the black sheep in the family isn’t always easy, but it’s also a badge of honor in its own way. 

Embracing your uniqueness through your interests, style, career choices, or life path is what makes you who you are.

Sure, there may be moments of tension or misunderstanding with your family, but at the end of the day, staying true to yourself is what matters most.

Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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