You know those people who you just cannot stay away from?
Like moths to a flame, you find yourself fluttering around their magnetic energy.
There’s something inside them that just sparks you up inside and makes you feel alive.
You find your eyes trailing them around the room and a part of you lights up whenever you get the pleasure of speaking to them or spending time with them.
Being charismatic is such an attractive quality. Quite literally, since you have people swooning.
It helps immensely in connecting with people, which in turn opens plenty of doors in both your personal and professional lives.
It’s hard to tell what exactly causes that gravitational pull you feel towards these charmers.
Nature or nurture, either way – they’re irresistible.
And are you one of them?
Let’s find out if you have these 13 skills that naturally charismatic people possess:
1) You’re naturally hilarious
And not in a dad-joke, I-laugh-at-my-own-jokes kind of way.
If your jokes and quips have people bending over in stitches of laughter, you’ll likely find them coming back for more.
Humor is addictive, and people who are witty and entertaining are often fan favorites.
Plus, laughter breaks down any ice and is one of the best ways to form early connections.
2) You really care and ask how people are
“How’re you?” “How’s it going?” “What’s up?”
These 3 statements all have something in common; they tend not to be actual questions about your well-being.
Charismatic people stand out from the crowd because they actually care.
If you’re the type to remember that someone’s cat recently got diagnosed with diabetes and ask how it’s doing, or to remember that a friend’s favorite snack is this one random grape jelly bar that can only be bought in a certain convenience store, they’ll love you for it.
People love it when tiny details of their lives are picked up on and shown consideration.
3) Your conversation skills are second to none
Part of showing you care about people is through using your exemplary listening skills.
No one has to tell you twice, nor do they have to worry about you butting in or forgetting what they said.
You give people your full and undivided attention and listen wholeheartedly.
Trust me, this doesn’t go unnoticed.
In a world where people spend most of their time trying to talk over one another or staring down at phone screens, your ability to communicate all means that people adore speaking to you.
4) You’re wise and insightful
And after you’ve listened to someone tell you about their sorrows, you offer the most insightful advice.
Charismatic people are often knowledgeable and educated.
In the same way that they attract people, they also absorb information.
This means that you have all sorts of fun and quirky facts hidden up your sleeve, and you can speak on a topic of any interest.
You also welcome new perspectives and actually enjoy learning about how other people think.
And in a world where thinking outside of the box or subjecting others is often shunned, others bristle with excitement when you allow them to go on a thought rampage about how kiwis should really be mammals or some other whacky topic.
5) You’re a curious cat
(That won’t be killed).
Part of that wisdom and insight is built on your inherent curiosity.
As is your ability to remember even the most minor of details someone shares with you.
Curiosity attracts an influx of information from other people.
It’s natural that it would therefore be one of the strongest pillars of what makes up a charismatic person.
6) You inspire others
Not in a way that makes them feel bad about themselves, but rather in an affirming and encouraging way.
Your friend turns up a little tired and weary, a little doubtful. They’re worried their new project isn’t going to do so well.
Your cheerleading pom-poms are on in a heartbeat, and they leave that evening bolstered up with newfound confidence and glee.
This also doesn’t mean that you make fake promises or tell white lies.
Rather, you just always see the best in people and in doing so allow them to see the same about themselves.
7) You’re open-minded
There’s nothing quite as dreary as trying to converse with someone who can’t see beyond their own grey thinking.
You can come with facts and receipts and try to probe and provoke some sort of broader view, but it’s like trying to talk to a rock stuck deep in mud.
Charismatic people tend to be amongst the more open-minded individuals out there.
Knowing that you won’t judge and your goodness of nature, people feel safe and comforted in your presence.
In allowing them to open up and share who they truly, authentically are, you become a safe place and a haven which automatically draws people in and keeps them coming back for more.
8) You’re upbeat
You don’t have to be a Duracell Bunny, but you’re not Eeyore either.
You just have a good dose of energy in you.
Always down to adventure, to grab drinks, or to try something new, people love the enthusiasm with which you approach life.
It’s a bit of an energy exchange; the company of highly charismatic people makes those in their presence feel more alive, and the charismatic people thrive off the positive energy they receive.
9) You’re positive
Being realistically optimistic is also a big part of being charismatic and the type of person others want to associate themselves with.
Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, nor someone who will try to make the end of the world seem like a positive opportunity.
But what is nice is having someone in your life who tends to see the bright side of things, and who enjoys even the little joys life has to offer.
Joy is contagious, and the way in which you have plenty of it in your own life starts permeating the lives of others.
10) You’re pretty confident
There’s a fine line between charisma and arrogance, which, if you’re the magnetic type of individual we’re talking about, doesn’t concern you.
But charisma and insecurity tend not to get on so well.
People find themselves gravitating towards those with self-confidence because it inspires them to be more confident in return.
It’s nice to stand in the light of someone who believes in themselves (not blindly), who sees and accepts their own flaws but is still proud of their capabilities and knows what they bring to the world.
11) You’re kind
All of these don’t mix well without genuine kindness.
True, you can be charismatic and magnetic and not be kind.
This probably goes down well in board rooms or other cut-throat environments.
But then people start to realize that your charisma comes as part of a sales pitch.
The pitch being for yourself.
Truly charismatic people exude this trait subconsciously.
They have this pure kindness within them that feeds into the way in which they care for and show concern for others.
12) You’re honest
Again, I’m sure you can think of a charismatic businessman or businesswoman who flashes a bright white smile and wins your attention and your wallet.
Part of sales is being enticing.
But if your charisma runs deeper than that, you’ll find that people gravitate towards you because they know that they can count on you.
It might be great for a person’s ego to be stroked by crooning white lies.
But most of the time, people appreciate individuals who will give them straight-up, honest answers.
In a world filled with fake news and editing and falsified realities, there are few things more alluring than someone who you know to be honest.
13) You’re welcoming to newbies
I remember the most magnetic person I’ve met to this day.
She wasn’t the most confident one in the room.
Nor the most popular.
I was always pretty shy and being moved from school to school each year only contributed to my reclusive nature.
But on my first day at one of these new schools, I wavered in the shadows for a moment.
Not quite sure what to do with myself, let alone where to go.
“Hey! Are you new here?”
She singled me out and spotted me, standing alone in a sea of first-years, bottom lip trembling and looking like a fish out of water.
She didn’t have to. She had plenty of friends of her own (who, unsurprisingly, also gravitated towards her pure-hearted, kind nature).
But she still went out of her way to make way for a newcomer and welcome me. She took me under her wing, and I was able to let out a deep sigh of relief.
A decade later, it just goes to show the effect that noticing someone on the outskirts and making an effort to welcome them with open arms can have.
Final thoughts
Most of us want to be charming.
The desire to be liked and loved is a part of human nature.
But learning not to live off the validation of others nor seek their approval is equally important.
So hopefully this list has shown you that the truest and purest form of magnetic charisma comes from being genuine and honest.
Perhaps this is a skillset you already possess.
If not, maybe there are a few things that you can take away and start incorporating into your interactions with others.
The end result remains the same; the energy you give out, you receive in return.
Therefore staying true to your values, being kind of heart and considerate towards others will mean that people gravitate towards your lovable nature and offer you the same tenderness in return.
