“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else”
A person blessed with a first-rate, engaging personality attracts others easily with their friendliness, humor, easy-going nature, and charisma up the ying-yang.
Someone with a first-rate personality is always authentic and genuinely curious about the people they interact with.
For this and many other reasons, people instinctively gravitate to engaging people. They possess traits you’d love to have without incurring your envy, only your admiration.
So who are these first-rate, genuine folks? Are you among their exalted ranks?
Let’s find out by exploring eight indications that you may have a first-rate personality, according to psychology.
1) You’re even-tempered
I would so love to be even-tempered. Ah, the joys of being calm and collected while still being warm and approachable must be considerable.
An even-tempered person is laid back, observant, and empathic, which explains why others are drawn to them. People with first-rate personalities are never at a loss for admirers, thanks to their even-keeled disposition.
The even-tempered person is the one who shows kindness even when their life is a wreck, as they’ve learned that you are going to have good days and bad days. They’ve mastered the old saying never to let anyone see you sweat.
2) You’re adaptable
Psychological research shows that adaptable people exhibit the willingness to break unhealthy habits and navigate the shifting seas of an ever-changing world.
They are good at facing problems head-on, resisting distractions, and resolutely moving forward. Adaptable people like to plan and are always striving for improvement.
According to psychology, They tend to have high emotional intelligence and exhibit empathy and respect for everyone around them, even people whose views may diametrically oppose their own beliefs.
Adaptable people are also remarkably observant and know how to adjust their coping mechanisms and life goals as needed.
3) You don’t live in the past
People with a first-rate personality understand that you can’t grow from your mistakes if you’re constantly beating yourself up over them.
The past is gone. Your rearview mirror is smaller than your windshield for a reason.
Once the lesson is learned, well-adjusted people give themselves the grace to evolve beyond their past mistakes.
So, if you forgive yourself and move on after taking responsibility for your actions, you share that trait with first-rate people.
4) You know your strength
Psychological research suggests that one of the leading causes of unhappiness in life is comparing yourself to others. Envy and resentment are expert joy killers.
If you’re always trying to “keep up with the Joneses,” you’re setting yourself up for a life of misery, usually over an illusion.
Years back, I had one neighbor with the most gorgeous home and outdoor living space. I mean, this place was magazine-worthy.
And I’m not proud to say that I was extremely jealous.
That is, until I heard how deep in hock they were and that her husband was a philandering narcissist. Then my humbler circumstances suddenly didn’t seem so bad.
The grass definitely isn’t always greener, so it’s best to cultivate your own lawn. Be proud of your own strengths and blessings.
By accepting yourself, warts and all, you can become the first-rate person you were meant to be.
5) You define who you are on your own terms
My favorite author Oscar Wilde once wrote: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken,” which is probably the most common sense you’ll read today.
The tricky part is that you can’t be your authentic self if you don’t understand and accept yourself first.
First-rate folks make an effort to see themselves for who they truly are and not what others expect them to be.
Does this sound like you?
Like most worthwhile things, defining who you are on your own terms isn’t easy. But if you can surround yourself with other like-minded people, things will fall into place for you easier.
6) You resist being pigeonholed
We’re all raised with certain values that leave an indelible impression on you. There are many factors influencing who you finally become, including cultural traditions, religious beliefs, and your education.
As first-rate humans strive to figure out who their authentic selves are, they reexamine these values and decide which ones still resonate with them. They also cast off the values that no longer work for them as they discover and own truth.
Will you often feel conflicted during this process? Sure, but that comes with the territory. Humans who are evolving understand that we are often challenged during our growing process.
So keep what works for you and chuck out what doesn’t.
7) You’re an expert communicator
One of the best known traits of engaging people is how they communicate. Your communication style speaks volumes about your ability to reach and connect with others.
Here are a few characteristics of a first-rate person with top-notch communication skills.
- Active listening
People skilled in the art of conversation know that it’s all about listening rather than talking. My mom always said that’s why we have two ears and only one mouth. Made sense to me then, and it still does.
So, when someone is speaking, a first-rate person is genuinely interested in what their partner has to say. According to psychology, they are great at active listening and aren’t just waiting for their turn to take the floor.
- Great at eye contact
Let’s face it. It’s discombobulating having a discussion with someone who’s scanning the room or more engrossed in their phone than you.
According to psychology, engaging people understand the importance of making eye contact. When they’re conversing with someone, they keep their attention focused on that person.
And they expect the same in return. First-rate people are big fans of common courtesy.
- You ask questions
Good conversationalists understand that there’s no exchange of ideas if one person is doing all of the talking.
You want to avoid monopolizing the discussion, so you always ask questions and request more details during a conversation.
- Beyond small talk
First-rate folks tend to enjoy deep and impactful conversations and usually avoid engaging in small talk. They prefer to dig a little deeper into any topic and avoid empty chatter.
8) You’re a master storyteller
Most people love to hear personal anecdotes. They bring any subject alive and promote a sense of solidarity through shared experiences and emotions.
The most effective communicators are usually gifted storytellers. These stories are undoubtedly entertaining, but they also add detail and context to topics that could otherwise feel nebulous or completely unrelatable.
And the most impactful storytellers don’t shy away from getting a bit theatrical with their delivery. Without going too over-the-top, of course. First-rate people want to accentuate the story, not obliterate it.
Final thoughts
First-rate folks have a lot going for them, but most have worked hard on themselves to get there. The rewards are well worth the effort expended, as these people not only enrich their own lives but the lives of all in their orbit.
