So many of us spend so much time trying to live our best lives.
We try to get the perfect job, go on exciting dates, plan incredible vacations and throw fantastic parties.
In some ways, this is good. We should all work hard to feel fulfilled and enjoy life. But there comes a point when we have to ask ourselves what kind of life we are actually living.
Do you feel like you are living a fake life?
You superficially look like you have it all together but in reality, you’re not happy or fulfilled?
If you recognize any of these red flags that I’ll take you through in this article in your own behavior, then it may be time for you to change things up a bit. It can mean that you want to move towards real happiness and fulfillment instead of just pretending that you have it all together. Let’s jump right in.
1) You dislike the people in your life
The people with whom you surround yourselves are a reflection of who you are on the inside.
If you can’t stand the people who are constantly around you, if you feel like you have no control over how you feel around them, and that you can’t seem to break out of the toxic relationships that hold you back, you are certainly living a false life.
If you are living an artificial life, you will find yourself surrounded by toxic people who are constantly dragging you down.
You will be unable to break out of these negative relationships because they will drain you of your energy and leave you feeling defeated.
You will also feel like you have no control over your life because you are allowing the people around you to dictate your choices and decisions.
Take a look at the people in your life and ask yourself whether they are a positive influence or not.
If not, it’s time to either distance yourself from these people or find a way to stand up for yourself and remove them from your life so that you feel more natural around the people you are interacting with and close to.
2) You constantly lie to yourself and others
If you find yourself lying to others and most importantly yourself, it might be a sign that you are living a fake life.
Constantly lying to everyone around you will take a toll on your mental and emotional health. For example:
- You will be stressed out, anxious, and constantly paranoid that someone is on to you.
- You will have built up a false sense of reality inside your head and will believe the world outside is trying to bring you down.
- You will be using your lies as a way to boost your own ego and a false sense of self-esteem.
- You will be constantly trying to impress people with what you have to say and show them a side of you that doesn’t exist.
- You will be lying to yourself in order to fit in with the crowd and be accepted by the people around you.
If you find yourself lying to others, it’s a sure sign that you have no confidence in who you are and what you have to offer. However, lying to yourself is even more detrimental to your psyche than lying to others.
It can be that you will doubt yourself and your abilities and end up feeling like an impostor since you built your confidence on top of a lie.
You will constantly be stressed out and anxious because you will be worried that others will find out and reject you.
3) Everyone judges you, but you can’t judge yourself
If you are living a fake life, you might feel like everyone is judging you, but you have no issues with your behavior.
You might think, “What I’m doing is just fine.”
But others might pull you down.
Your partner might put you down constantly and make you feel bad about yourself.
Your coworkers might criticize your behavior.
Your family might comment on your decisions and question your choices.
If you are living an artificial life, you will find yourself unable to stand up for yourself and judge your partner back because you don’t know how to be authentic.
If you feel like everyone is judging you but you can’t judge yourself, it’s a sign that you are not being your authentic self and feeling natural with how you are behaving with others.
You might feel too afraid to stand up for yourself and defend your choices and lifestyle.
You might constantly let other people dictate what is right and wrong for you and this is only causing you to lose your true self.
Or you might feel like everyone is judging you because you are living a fake life and everyone can tell.
Part of feeling like you are living a false life is that you seek external validation for your decisions and behaviors.
If this happens, you are letting other people mold your personality and lifestyle into something it’s not, and it’s only making you feel worse about yourself.
4) There is no point in setting goals since you will never reach them
If you find yourself thinking that there’s no point in setting goals since you will never reach them, it might be a sign that you are living a fake life.
Having low confidence and focus can leave you feeling tossed around by life.
People often make the mistake of setting unrealistic goals and then getting discouraged when they fail to meet them.
If you are constantly setting goals but failing to accomplish them, it’s because you are aiming too high and don’t know how to break out of your comfort zone.
You might be living a fake life if you are setting goals but failing to reach them. You might be setting realistic goals for yourself but refusing to break out of your comfort zone to achieve them.
If you have a serious case of impostor syndrome, you will be setting yourself up for failure by setting realistic goals for yourself.
You will constantly be beating yourself up for not meeting your own standards and will end up feeling depressed and defeated.
You need to be honest with yourself and set realistic goals that you know you can reach but will push you out of your comfort zone at the same time.
When it comes to your personal journey, which negative habits have you unknowingly picked up?
What is getting in your way?
It’s not that you have a positive mindset all of the time as you work towards your goals.
That’s near impossible and somewhat undesirable.
But be careful taking advice from others.
You will have to carve out your own path.
Even well-meaning gurus and experts and coaches can get it wrong.
It’s one thing to go through an experience yourself and another to try to advise someone else on a journey.
Very few get this right.
The result is that you end up on someone else’s path.
You do more to harm yourself than to heal and flourish.
In this eye-opening video, the shaman Rudá Iandé explains how so many of us fall into the toxic self-development trap. He himself went through it at the start of his journey.
As he mentions in the video, spirituality and personal growth aren’t about suppressing emotions, judging others, or even judging yourself.
They are a path to help you form a pure connection with who you are at your core.
Once you have this, your sense of purpose will naturally rekindle and burn bright.
If you want to live your life from your inherent passion, then I encourage you to explore this more.
Even if you’re well into your spiritual journey, it’s never too late to unlearn the myths you’ve bought for truth.
5) Everything makes you feel equally indifferent.
If everything around you makes you feel indifferent, it’s a sign that you are living a fake life and are unable to be your authentic self.
For example, if everything seems the same to you if nothing excites you if you feel like nothing is worth your time, it’s because you are living a fake life and are unable to break out of your comfort zone.
You might be living a fake life if everything around you makes you feel indifferent.
It can be that you feel like you are constantly trying to fit in with the crowd and are too afraid to stand out and be yourself.
Or perhaps you are too caught up in impressing others and are afraid to let your personality shine through. There is a fine line between being yourself and being fake.
You need to find a balance between standing up for yourself and your beliefs and being overly confident and self-absorbed.
If everything around you makes you feel indifferent because you are trying too hard to blend in, it’s time to change your ways and find a middle ground.
6) You constantly feel guilty for no reason at all.
If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty for no reason, it might be a sign that you are living an artificial contrived life.
Feeling guilty for every little mistake you make and letting others walk all over you is a sure sign that you are too submissive and letting yourself go.
If you constantly feel guilty for no reason at all, it’s because you are allowing others to walk all over you and you are letting their words and actions affect you too much.
You are not standing up for yourself and are instead constantly apologizing for things that aren’t even your fault.
Or perhaps you might be living a fake life if you constantly feel guilty for no reason at all.
If you are too submissive and let others walk all over you, making you feel guilty and subservient to everyone. This can happen because you are letting your insecurities control you and allowing others to dictate your choices and decisions.
You need to stand up for yourself and start saying no to the people who are walking all over you.
You also need to start apologizing less and standing up for yourself more.
7) You dread Mondays and the end of the weekend more than anything else.
If you dread going to work or school or your community duties, and the end of the weekend more than anything else, it might be a sign that you are living a fake life.
If you dread the beginning of the workweek and the end of the weekend, it can be because you are too focused on impressing others and are not being your authentic self.
If you dread Mondays and the end of the weekend more than anything else, it’s because you are too focused on impressing your bosses and co-workers or school community and are living a false life.
You are letting others dictate your choices and decisions and are constantly being misled by the people around you who have their own agendas.
If you are living an artificial life, you will constantly feel like you need to impress others in order to be accepted and liked.
You will feel like you have to act a certain way and say the right things in order to fit in with the crowd.
You will be so focused on what others think of you that you will
8) You don’t trust your decisions
If you are too afraid to make decisions and stick with them, it might be a sign that you are living a fake life or that you are letting others make all your decisions for you.
If you think too much and constantly doubt yourself, it’s because you are allowing others to make important decisions for you. Which fundamentally means you aren’t being yourself and living your own life.
If this happens week after week it’s because you don’t trust your decisions or feel like everything is one big decision and that somehow the decisions that have been made up until this point were considered mistakes.
These types of thoughts are damaging and do not help you thrive in life.
You need to stop letting others make important decisions for you and start learning to trust your own instincts.
You need to remember that you have life experience and have actually made it this far in life without guidance or a firm decision-making base.
If you suddenly feel like everything is a big decision, start making small practical day-to-day decisions and stick with them for a few days before deciding that you have made the wrong choice.
You will start gaining confidence in your own decisions, which is essential if you want to live a fake life free of regret and mistakes – something we are all capable of achieving once we learn how.
9) You have low self-esteem
If you have low self-esteem, it can be a sign that you are living a false life or that you are willing to put up with anything for the sake of other people.
For example, if you constantly find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t even your fault and will put up with being angry at your co-worker just because he criticized one of your ideas, it’s because you feel insecure about yourself and want everyone around to like you.
You might be living a fake life if you have low self-esteem.
When you have low self-esteem, you will constantly feel like everyone around you is better than you and that if everyone liked you more people wouldn’t hate on you.
This can happen because of your insecurities and how others treat you.
You need to realize that what people think of you doesn’t matter and that you are beautiful regardless of what others think.
You also need to stop apologizing for your actions or words and start standing up for yourself from time to time instead.
10) You never feel happy
If no matter how much money or success anyone else has it seems like happiness never comes, it is a sign that nothing will ever be enough for the fake life that you are living.
If you never feel happy for the people who are successful and always want more for yourself, it’s a sign that you are living an artificial life and are too focused on impressing others.
You might be living a fake life when no matter how much money or success anyone else has, it seems like happiness will never come! This is because the amount of money or success a person has cannot make anyone truly happy if they do not live life by their own rules. You need to be your own person. You need to start making your own decisions and following your own heart. If you continue to let others control your choices and decisions, happiness will never come-especially for you!
11) You turn to drugs and alcohol as an escape
If you are turning to drugs and alcohol as an escape or a way to cope with your problems, it’s a sign that you are living an artificial life.
This can be because of your own insecurities or the way that others treat you.
Drugs and alcohol provide temporary relief from the pressures of life but they don’t solve any problems or issues that you are having. All they do is leave negative effects on your body and mind while making things worse in the long run.
If this starts happening, you need to find a better way to cope with your issues than drinking alcohol or doing drugs.
Your insecurities need to be addressed and dealt with before they lead to other destructive behaviors.
You need to deal with the issue rather than letting them control your choices and decisions so you can live a satisfying and meaningful life
12) You are always seeking validation from others.
If you are always seeking validation from others, it’s because you don’t trust yourself and are waiting for other people to tell you what to do and how to live your life.
This means that you live your life with the goal of proving that you belong in the world.
You will be constantly looking for opinions and feedback from others. You are probably so worried about being judged by other people that you have stopped being yourself. It’s like a mask that everyone keeps trying to put on and take off but no one is acknowledging its existence. This is why your actions are always so calculated and that you don’t act on any of your desires.
You can only get validation from yourself and your own thinking, not others. You will never truly be happy unless you trust yourself and live your life on your own terms.
Learning to trust yourself is a very important step toward living a happy and meaningful life. You need to start making your own choices, following your own heart, and learning to be yourself.
When you start to discover which practices are genuinely pushing you forward, and which are holding you back, you will really deepen your practice of personal development.
Unfortunately, many of us unknowingly fall into the trap of self-harm when we try to progress.
As you can imagine, this can be extremely harmful to understanding what mindsets are toxic. I learned this when I watched an insightful and profound talk by the shaman Rudá Iandé.
But why should you trust his advice? What makes him different from the rest of the teachers out there?
Well, for one, Rudá isn’t interested in selling you his version of personal growth.
Instead, he aims to put you at the center of your world and back in control of your spiritual journey.
He wants you to handle the reins.
Rudá has included a few powerful yet simple exercises in the video that’ll help you reconnect with yourself. Again, these exercises put the focus on you.
So if you’re ready to bust the toxic spiritual myths and genuinely connect with your spiritual being, check out his incredible free video here.
13) You feel like you have nothing to offer the world.
If you feel like you have nothing to offer the world, it means that you lack self-confidence and don’t trust your own decisions.
You might down and like you aren’t doing what you know you could be doing in life, if only you had the right chance or opportunity.
When you start feeling like you have little to offer other people, it’s easy to think that your existence doesn’t matter. Fundamentally, it’s because the daily moment of life is losing its significance to you.
It can be really hard to determine whether you are on the right path in life and to tweak your internal compass.
Sometimes it is hard to tell whether it is your own feelings or feelings told by others. Therefore, you need to learn to trust yourself more and feel better about making mistakes. You need to start making choices for yourself, following your heart, and being true to yourself.
You will never feel like you have nothing of worth to contribute if you take charge of your own life.
14) You are always rushing things and never enjoying the moment.
If you find it hard to enjoy being in the moment, it’s a sign that you are always rushing and can never slow down or stop and just enjoy what you have.
See, when you don’t live in the moment, it’s like the present is constantly slipping through your fingers. It means that while everyone else is enjoying their time in life, you are rushing through it so that you can fit all of your future dreams or goals into your own life.
If everyone else is enjoying life and living in the moment but you are always rushing forward without enjoying any one moment as it comes, that means that while they are accepting moments as they come, you have a hard time accepting them.
15) You never want to go on road trips because you feel that they are too long.
If you never want to take road trips, it means that every day is filled with long hours of work or school and you don’t always want to spend so much time doing something that doesn’t interest you or makes life feel dull, monotonous, and boring.
You might feel like all of the roads in life lead you straight to your eventual death, so why would anyone in their right mind ever take a road trip?
Road trips can be really fun if people are really enjoying them and living out their stories on the go.
16) Your emotions are constantly changing.
If you have no idea how to deal with the waves of emotions that are constantly hitting your body and mind, it is a sign that you are living in an artificial state.
You will not know what to do with yourself when things start going wrong and it will be hard for you to keep a consistent emotional routine whenever things go well.
It might feel like a roller coaster ride.
You might feel like you are constantly running up and down.
There are also times that you feel like you just don’t want to deal with anything. You will think that you have a lot of mental energy or mental baggage and that it is alright to just shut down or stop everything and go numb.
You might think that being numb will help dissipate all of the mental energy, but really it is the opposite. It only causes pain because when you don’t express your emotions, they can become pent up and cause severe damage to your life.
Find your voice and live it
The world is filled with people pretending to be something they’re not.
Fake life is a hollow existence that lacks substance. The more you live in a false reality, the more you risk losing yourself and your sanity.
Living a fake life is draining and can be stressful if you don’t know how to break free from your current situation and reclaim your authentic self.
It doesn’t matter what age you are or where you live; everyone at some point feels like they’re living an artificial existence instead of their authentic one. If any of these statements resonate with you, it might be time to change things up so that you can start living your real-life once again.
Are you tired of hearing the same message when it comes to spirituality and growth?
Are you exhausted from trying to always be the best version of yourself, of always trying to be positive, of always trying to be good?
If so, there’s a reason why:
I’m sorry, but you’ve been sold the lies of toxic spirituality and personal development.
Don’t feel bad about it though, so many of us have fallen into this trap.
Even the shaman Rudá Iandé humbly admits that he fell for it too. He explains how his initial approach to spirituality did more harm than good. It’s something that we all go through.
Now, with over 30 years of investigating and exploring, and mentoring in the field of spirituality, Rudá hopes his experience can help others avoid the same mistakes and help others get out of living a fake life.
So, how do you know you won’t get more of the same toxic spiritual crap this time around?
Well, Rudá isn’t going to tell you how to practice your spirituality. Instead, he’s going to give you the tools to find empowerment from within.
Every exercise in the video will put you back in touch with your core self. One moment at a time.
So if you’re ready to take that step, click here to watch the free video.
If you find it doesn’t work for you, no worries. It might provoke you to think about changes that you need to make in another way.
The important thing is that you are actively looking for a way out of your fake life.
The more you seek and explore and understand, the closer you will be able to aligning your inner purpose, words, and actions into a life that feels authentic and filled with meaning.
Remember others can help point out the path of living an authentic life, but ultimately you have to find your path on your one. One step at a time. But your own steps, always.