7 signs someone secretly dislikes you, according to psychology

Do you have a gnawing feeling that someone doesn’t really like you, even though they’re always nice to you?

Or maybe it’s just a vibe that they’re not your biggest fan? Even though they aren’t yelling this from every rooftop?

I’ve been there, too!

Sometimes, subtle signs say more than words. And when you can figure out who’s your ride or die and who’s only there for show, you can get rid of that draining, negative vibe. 

Here are some things people do when they’re not exactly throwing confetti for your presence:

1) They rarely initiate conversation

Ever notice that some people never seem to start conversations with you? 

Well, it could be that they’re shy or busy…

But more often than not, the reason is that they’re just not that interested in building a connection with you. 

Of course, everyone has their own communication style. But a significant imbalance usually indicates a disconnect from one side. 

If you’re always the one reaching out, you might be right to think that the other person doesn’t like you.

And if someone only seems interested in talking with you when other people are around, there’s a pretty good chance they’re trying to hide their dislike of you and throw you under the bus.

It’s these kinds of people you should be especially wary of. 

2) They don’t include you in plans

Always being the last to know about plans definitely isn’t a coincidence. Trust me. I’ve been there enough times to know. 

There are many reasons why someone could consistently exclude you. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Brianna Gaynor, dislike is one of them

Exclusion is the simplest way for someone to say they prefer your absence. 

And I get that everyone has their reasons for sometimes making plans with specific people only. 

But if you’re always left out or constantly get late invitations, you’re really just an afterthought at most.

Being on the receiving end of this behavior can hurt. That’s why recognizing the pattern early on is best.

If having an open conversation with the person involved isn’t an option, knowing your worth and moving on is the right move. 

You should do the same if…

3) They frequently cancel plans with you

Let’s say you get invited. Or you invite them, and they say yes.

That’s great, right?

But what if they only invite you or say yes to cancel at the last minute, again and again?

I promise it’s not just bad luck.

If someone dislikes you, spending time together won’t be a priority.

Sure, life is unpredictable, and occasional changes of plans are normal. But if it becomes a recurring theme, you should take it as a sign. 

Consistent cancellations will leave you feeling undervalued. It’s not worth investing your energy into someone who’s causing this. 

4) They’re passive-aggressive

If someone secretly dislikes you, there’s a really good chance their behavior toward you will be a little passive-aggressive.

Think backhanded compliments, cloaked feelings, and cryptic language…

Being on the receiving end of passive-aggressive comments or actions can feel a bit like navigating a maze – you never really know where you’re going with the other person.

Want to know the worst part? 

Other people might not even notice! 

They could be so blinded by the surface-level niceness of what this person says or does that you’re the only one with the gut feeling that you’re actually disliked. 

Passive aggressiveness can manifest in different ways. Besides what I already mentioned, if someone secretly dislikes you, you might also notice that…

5) They make sarcastic remarks

Believe it or not, sarcasm can actually be positive. Some people really like it and think sarcastic people are super intelligent. 

For the most part, people use sarcasm to be funny.

But when someone uses it excessively, it can signal they dislike you.

According to psychology, sarcasm is a subtle form of bullying. While it’s usually harmful, it can also make someone feel stupid. 

Tone and context can help determine whether someone is mean to you or just trying to be funny. 

If they show other passive-aggressive behavior, the first is probably true. 

Here is another example of this behavior:

6) They often disagree with you for no reason

We all have opinions and our own way of doing things. That’s natural and totally okay.

Healthy debate is…well, you know, healthy!

But has it ever felt like someone seems to disagree with you, just for the sake of disagreement, and you couldn’t quite figure out why?

Baseless disagreement can be a major red flag that usually signals someone secretly dislikes you

It’s one way people tend to indirectly express their frustration with you or simply try to have the upper hand to make you feel inferior.

And if you’re an empath, this passive-aggressive behavior will achieve just that!

Because even if you try to figure out why they don’t agree, you’ll just be met with a “Well, we all have different opinions” or something similarly unclear. 

7) They seem uninterested in your success

You know those people who are less than thrilled when you achieve a goal? Yeah – they probably don’t like you.

According to psychology, when people don’t have an interest in your life or aren’t even curious, they don’t really care about you, what you do, or what you achieve. 

The opposite is true when someone likes you – they’ll want to celebrate you and your victories, big or small.

If someone consistently refuses to congratulate you or even acknowledge your success, it’s time to get the message. 

People who like you will be happy when you accomplish something and even encourage you to reach for more. 

Of course, there are some people who feel awkward when others win. It’s not always to say someone secretly dislikes you when their reaction to your success is different than what you expected.

But if you notice a couple of the signs mentioned, it might be time to rethink their role in your life. 

If you want to be happy, you need to surround yourself with people who send positive energy your way and never make you feel like an option. 

Natasha Combrink

Natasha Combrink

Nats is a writer who loves creating content for purposeful brands. She enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and diving down rabbit holes. After rediscovering life, she wants to help others live to their full potential. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

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