10 signs someone is highly attracted to you, according to psychology

As humans, we all crave connection, appreciation, and validation from others. It’s in our nature to want to feel desired and admired.

This desire often leads us into the exciting, yet confusing, human attraction. It can be tough to decipher if someone is genuinely attracted to you or if they’re just being polite.

Unfortunately for us, attraction isn’t always as straightforward as we’d like it to be, and often, it’s cloaked in subtle gestures, phrases, and body language that are easy to overlook or misinterpret.

So if you want to understand attraction and maybe how others might feel about you, keep reading!

Below, we’re going to talk about the signs someone is highly attracted to you, according to psychology.

1) Prolonged eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most potent forms of nonverbal communication, and when someone is attracted to you, they tend to hold eye contact longer than usual.

According to psychology, maintaining eye contact is a powerful indicator of attraction. It’s a way for people to create an intimate connection without saying a word.

This isn’t those awkward, uncomfortable stares. It’s those moments when someone gazes into your eyes with a level of intensity that feels different. They seem genuinely interested in what you’re saying, and their eyes may even light up when you’re around.

So if you notice someone holding your gaze longer than usual, it could be a sign they’re highly attracted to you. 

2) Increased physical touch

Physical touch is a powerful indicator of attraction. When someone is highly attracted to you, they’ll often find small ways to initiate physical contact.

This doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures of affection. It might be as subtle as a brief touch on the arm during a conversation, brushing past you slightly more than necessary, or offering a warm, lingering handshake.

These seemingly insignificant touches, according to psychology, can signal a strong attraction. It’s their way of breaking the physical barrier to express their interest and connect with you on a deeper level.

3) They mimic your behavior

Do they somehow use the same phrases or mannerisms as you after spending a lot of time together?

Well, this isn’t mere coincidence.

When someone is highly attracted to you, they subconsciously start to mimic your behavior, gestures, and even your speech patterns. This phenomenon, known as mirroring, is a way for them to establish rapport with you and feel more connected to you.

For example, if you notice they’ve started using the same slang words as you, laughing at the same moments, or even adopting your eating habits, it could be a clear sign of their attraction towards you.

4) They seem nervous around you

You might think that someone being nervous around you indicates discomfort or unease.

But, surprisingly, it could be a sign of attraction.

This is because when a person feels attracted to you, they feel a kind of pressure to impress you or fear saying something that could put them in a bad light.

This anxiety can manifest as fidgety behavior, stumbling over words, or even slight blushing.

If someone always seems a bit flustered in your presence, it might not be because they’re uncomfortable. It could be because they’re trying their best to win your admiration and are worried about making a mistake.

5) They show genuine interest in your life

They don’t just care about spending time with you; they genuinely care about you.

They’ll show interest in your life beyond the surface level by asking about your day; your likes and dislikes; your dreams and fears. They remember small details from previous conversations and follow up on them.

They’re not doing this to pass time or make small talk. They’re doing it because they genuinely want to know more about you, understand your world, and become a part of it.

6) They offer help and support

if someone is secretly infatuated with you theyll usually display these behaviors 10 signs someone is highly attracted to you, according to psychology

Kindness and empathy often translate into attraction.

When someone is highly attracted to you, they’ll go out of their way to help you and support you.

They’ll be there for you in times of need, offering a listening ear, a comforting word, or a helping hand. They’ll celebrate your achievements and encourage your dreams. They might even step in to ease your burdens without you having to ask.

This kind of attraction goes beyond physical attraction; it reflects a deep emotional connection and respect for you as your own person.

7) They include you in their future plans

They start seeing you as a part of their future.


Well, it could be as simple as mentioning a concert of a band you both like that’s happening in a few months or as significant as discussing future travel plans together.

This isn’t simply planning for the weekend; they’re envisioning a timeline that involves you. This shows that they don’t just see this as a fleeting attraction but something more meaningful and long-term.

8) They tease you playfully

Remember those elementary school days when someone would tease you because they had a crush on you? Well, turns out, adults do it too!

When someone is highly attracted to you, they might engage in light-hearted, playful teasing. It’s their fun way of getting your attention and sparking a connection.

They might make a gentle joke about your coffee obsession or playfully tease you about a quirky habit. Of course, this is always done in good humor and never in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

9) They make an effort to understand you

Here’s the thing:

Attraction isn’t just grand gestures and sweet words. It’s also making an effort to truly understand the other person.

They’ll try to understand your perspective, even if it’s different from theirs. They’ll listen patiently to your thoughts and feelings, without rushing to judgments or conclusions.

They won’t shy away from your flaws and complexities. Instead, they’ll embrace them as part of who you are. They’ll strive to understand your passions, your fears, and what makes you, you.

10) They show consistency in their actions

At the end of the day, the most important sign of attraction is consistency. All the signs we’ve talked about mean nothing if they’re not consistent.

When someone is highly attracted to you, they’ll show it through their consistent actions over time. They won’t just be kind, supportive, and attentive one day and distant the next. Their interest in you won’t be dependent on their mood or circumstances.

So always remember this: true attraction goes beyond words or single actions. It’s their consistent behavior that shows they genuinely care for you and value your presence in their life.

Reflecting on attraction

Being on the receiving end of someone’s attraction can be a beautiful, exhilarating experience. It’s a validation of your charms, your personality, and the unique qualities that make you who you are.

However, as renowned psychologist Dr. Robert J. Sternberg notes, “Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.”

This is to say, while initial attraction is important and exciting, it’s just the beginning of a deeper connection. The sparks of attraction should ideally lead to a bond built on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values.

If you recognize these signs in someone around you, take a moment to reflect on what this attraction means for you.

Is it reciprocated? Is there potential for a deeper connection? Or perhaps it’s simply flattering but not something you want to pursue.

At the end of the day, only you can decide what feels right for you.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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