Do you have a friend or partner that you care about? Do you ever wonder if they really care about you back? Would you like to know new ways to show your affection?
Everybody has a different love language, and this post will help you to discover yours, and understand other people’s too!
If you spot some of these 8 signs then there is a good chance that this person finds you very special, and genuinely cares about you.
1) They notice your quirks and love you more for them
Have you ever had a lover that noticed your odd little habits and found them endearing?
Or a friend that knows you so well and appreciates the little things about you that most people miss? If so, they are probably a keeper!
Although I’ve had various long-term relationships, my current love is the first one to notice that when I’m brushing my teeth or doing my makeup, I tend to stand on one foot and curl the other one inward while resting on my toes (ten points if you can visualize that!).
I didn’t even realize it myself until he pointed it out and told me how cute it is. And in return I find it cute that he finds it cute!
Noticing (and rejoicing in) the small and unusual things about you shows that a person really pays attention to you and loves you for who you are.
2) They take note of what you say and like, and surprise you
Maybe you express a fondness for a band or artist, or a wish to go to a spa or visit a museum, gallery or even travel to another country.
Then when you least expect it, they invite you to do the activity with them, or even bring you travel brochures to help you to get inspiration.
If it’s a big goal, they might even help you make a mood board, or brainstorm ideas with you, to help you manifest your dreams.
I’m a huge fan of seals, but I’d never seen one up close, so when my partner took me on a surprise holiday with a trip to a seal sanctuary, I knew it was love. <3
3) They set boundaries and respect yours (because they want your relationship to be sustainable!)
Setting boundaries can be hard, as they can feel like restrictions. As many of us are people pleasers, it can go against the grain to say no to someone.
However, not setting boundaries can leave us drained and even resentful.
Have you ever had a pushy friend who just kept on wanting to talk about his or her problems and not considering your feelings or problems?
Or someone who keeps demanding you do favors for them, even when you’ve let them know that you just aren’t able to do what they want?
These are signs of poor boundaries and sometimes a lack of respect.
Most of us want to help our loved ones, and being there for people is a good thing, but knowing when to step back (gracefully!) is vital for well-being and long lasting, healthy relationships.
If your friend, partner, or family member respects it when you’ve set a boundary, this is a sign that this person really does care about you and the longevity of your relationship.
(Tip: reassure them that you do care about them when you set boundaries).
Similarly, if they set a boundary and communicate it to you with kindness, you know that they are in it for the long haul.
4) They do their best to make you comfortable
This can relate both to physical and emotional comfort.
In the physical realm it can look like them making sure that you have a pillow, blanket or cushion if you need it, or taking your dietary requirements and needs into consideration when you come to visit them.
Maybe they will have your favorite herbal tea or drink ready or run you a bath with some candles if you’ve had a long day or been stuck out in the cold.
Perhaps they help you to remember to take your medicines, eat healthily or encourage you to visit a doctor if you need to.
Thinking about, and anticipating your body’s needs, is a very sweet sign that this person really wants to care for you.
5) They comfort you when you’ve had a bad day
There are many ways to emotionally comfort someone who is having a bad day. A romantic partner might cook for you or buy your favorite ice cream, maybe offer a massage, and a shoulder to cry on.
A caring friend or family member could listen attentively to you, offer their emotional support, or suggest that you watch a favorite film or show together.
However, it can be tempting for people to try and fix your problems, or tell you everything is just fine, (toxic positivity anyone?). Those behaviors, though usually well meant, can make things worse.
If this happens to you, take a moment to let your loved one know what you need from them. Someone who really cares will listen and try to do better next time!
6) They stick up for you…
If someone is being outright mean to you, or perhaps just making fun of you in an unkind way, a person who really cares will stand up for you.
This might look like directly confronting the person who is being unkind or unjust, and then setting them straight. But it can be more subtle too.
I dated a guy for some time, and one day I made a (not very funny) joke in front of some new friends we had just met.
I was very embarrassed.
Instead of trying to help me style out the awkward moment when the joke fell flat, my ex intentionally made it worse by doing an over-the-top laugh, which made me feel like an idiot, and worse, that my partner didn’t ‘have my back’.
Jordan Peterson notes that one of the things that makes a successful partnership is the willingness to stick up for each other and work like a team. It may not surprise you that I ended up breaking up with that guy (not just because of that incident, but because I noticed a lack of care overall – I guess he needed to read this article!)
7) …But also gently tell you the truth when needed
There is a flip side.
Sometimes we may be at fault and a casual friend wouldn’t want to tell us as they may feel it’s not their place.
Someone who really cares about you will risk telling you what you need to know, in a kind way, because they want to see you succeed and thrive in life, even if it means risking upsetting you temporarily.
(Tip: If someone does this a lot, be careful. Endless criticism packaged up as love can be a sign of a narcissistic manipulative technique, designed to erode your self-esteem.)
8) They celebrate your successes and joys
This is an obvious one but it’s very important.
When you have good news or success, does your friend, family member or partner celebrate with you and take an interest? Or do they play it down, ignore it or even diminish your achievements?
If a friend or lover acts jealous or dismissive of your successes, beware!
Someone who genuinely cares about you will be happy when you are happy, and similarly they will commiserate with you when things don’t go as planned.
A love letter to your love language
People express love and affection in different ways.
Don’t worry if you don’t see all of these signs in your friend or partner, that’s normal, because everyone is different. Some people are best at grand gestures, some at small details. Some are romantic, while others are practical.
The key takeaway is that someone who genuinely cares about you will take the time to notice what is important to you and do their best to show you that.
Knowing this, you can make your relationships even better, as you can understand the way others show their love and appreciation and reciprocate by using your shared language of love.