Are you dating a girl but you feel like her love for you isn’t genuine?
One of the most painful feelings in the world is loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
It’s even worse when the person you love is just pretending to love you.
Not only does she not love you, but she is trying to manipulate you in front of your eyes.
In this article, I’ll go through the top 18 signs she is only pretending to love you. I hope for your sake you’re proven wrong.
1) She doesn’t pay attention to your feelings.
This is the biggest sign she doesn’t love you genuinely. She doesn’t care about how you feel. All she wants is to make her own life easier.
She doesn’t care about your needs, your desires, and what you want out of life.
She only cares about herself and what she can get out of you.
This is a common reason why a girl will pretend to love a guy. She obviously wants to stay in the relationship to get something out of it.
But when it comes to genuinely helping you when you’re feeling depressed or sad, she’s nowhere to be seen.
She only pretends as if she cares about your feelings when it’s easy for her to do, but when it gets a little more difficult and she actually has to listen to you and offer her support, she’s never around.
2) She seems bored when you are together.
If you’ve been together for a while and she doesn’t seem excited when you are together, she probably isn’t in love with you.
Girls who love someone genuinely always want to be around them.
Even if they’re not feeling well or have something else going on, they will try their best to be around them as much as possible because they actually enjoy seeing that person.
She doesn’t care about you enough to make the effort to see you even when things aren’t going well for her.
She only shows up when it’s easy for her.
If she doesn’t look excited when she sees you, then there’s a good chance she’s not into you as much as you are with her.
After all, it’s difficult to fake excitement. So you can tell she is pretending to love you if she rarely gets excited in your presence.
3) She does not express her love to you.
If she doesn’t express her true feelings to you then she probably does not love you.
Women are normally very expressive, particularly with the man they love.
If she’s not telling you how she feels and why, then it’s likely she doesn’t see you as worthy enough for her to be vulnerable with.
But if a girl really loves someone, they want to be able to express their emotions honestly and openly with them.
4) Want advice specific to your situation?
While the signs in this article will help you understand if she is pretending to love you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like when you’re unsure of someone’s love for you. They’re popular because their advice works.
So, why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
5) She is not interested in your life.
If she’s not interested in your life, then she does not care about you.
Women are naturally curious creatures, and they want to know everything about the man they love.
A woman who loves you will ask you questions about your life and show genuine interest in what you have to say.
But if she never asks questions about your life, then it shows that she’s not really interested.
She might ask superficial questions here and there, like “how was your day”, but she never takes the conversation further because she’s not really interested.
6) She does not appreciate the little things that you do for her.
She takes it for granted that you will always be there for her, so she doesn’t bother showing any appreciation for when you go out of your way to do something nice for her.
She just expects it.
She expects you to be there for her and to do nice things for her.
She rarely says “thank you”.
This shows that she’s not really grateful or appreciative of the things that you do for her.
If a woman truly loves you, she will always make an effort to show gratitude and appreciation in a heartfelt way when you go out of your way to do something nice for her.
7) She isn’t affectionate in public.
If she isn’t affectionate in public, then there’s a good chance she isn’t really into you.
Women are more affectionate with the men that they love.
If she’s in love with you, she’ll put her arms around you, hug you, kiss you, and touch your arm or hand when you’re in public.
If your girl is not showing affection like this with you in public, then she’s probably not into you.
Perhaps if she’s pretending to love you, she might have other men that she’s been flirting with and she doesn’t want those men to see you holding her hand in public.
Obviously, if you think that this might be the case, then it’s not a good sign and you need to initiate an honest conversation with her.
8) She only loves the way you look.
If a girl loves someone only for their appearance and doesn’t care about their personality, it shows that she doesn’t truly love that person.
Most women do like the way that their partner looks. But if she only likes a guy because of his looks, then there’s a good chance she’s not in love with him.
She’s just seeing your looks and wants to be with you because you’re cute, but she doesn’t really love you. That’s all.
She’s only using you for your looks and not for anything else.
Perhaps she’s pretending to herself as well. She thinks she loves you because you’re attractive, but she doesn’t realize that’s it’s not true love because it doesn’t also include other aspects of love like mental and emotional.
9) She doesn’t want the relationship to get serious.
If a girl wants the relationship to stay casual then there’s a good chance she does not see you as a serious option for her.
Girls who only want to stay casual are girls who are “playing the field” and looking for as much fun and excitement as possible.
They’re not looking to settle down with just one guy.
If a girl wants to play the field, then she’s not going to love you.
And if she claims that she loves you, but she’s seeing other guys at the same time, then I’m sorry to say but it’s probably not real love.
She’ll never be satisfied with having just one man because she is always wanting the next guy, who has more charisma or sex appeal than the guy she has now.
10) She is not jealous when you talk to other girls.
While jealously isn’t a healthy emotion, it does that she wants you to herself.
If she’s not jealous when you talk to other girls, it means that she doesn’t really care about your relationship with them.
She’s not jealous because she’s just pretending to love you.
And if a girl is pretending to love you, then it’s very likely that she is also fake about the relationship itself.
11) She doesn’t care about your future.
Trust me when I say:
Every girl wants to know what a man thinks of their future.
After all, if she sees herself with you in the future, then she’ll want to make sure that it can work out and that you both have similar goals.
But if she is only interested in her own life and doesn’t care what you’re thinking of a future, then she might not really love you.
If she loves you, she will want to take care of you and make sure that you are happy and safe in the future and that your goals and priorities align.
But if she doesn’t love you, then she probably feels she doesn’t need to put any effort into hearing about your future plans.
12) She won’t introduce you to her family and friends.
If she’s not introducing you to her family and friends, then she probably doesn’t see you as someone who is significant to her life.
This might be because she knows you only have a casual relationship with her and that’s all she wants out of it.
She can’t imagine introducing a casual boyfriend to her parents because it would almost feel like an insult to them.
So while she is dating you and pretending she loves you, if she won’t introduce you to her family, then she clearly doesn’t see a long-term future with you.
13) She doesn’t want to go on dates with you.
If she doesn’t want to go on dates with you or if she’s only in it for casual sex, then it’s very likely that she does not truly love you.
If a girl wants the relationship to be casual, then she doesn’t really care about the relationship and that’s all there is to it.
She won’t show interest in going out or spending any time with you romantically or otherwise because she just wants to keep it casual.
14) She is not a good listener.
Women who love men want to be able to talk to them, and they want the man they love to listen to what they have to say.
If she’s not listening then it shows that she doesn’t care about you or what you have to say. She’s not really willing to hear what you have to say either because it doesn’t really interest her.
If she’s interested in what you have to say, then she’ll listen and show genuine interest.
15) She is not emotionally supportive.
If she’s only in it for the sex or other benefits like status or money and doesn’t care about the relationship, then she won’t be emotionally supportive of you.
If she’s only pretending to love you, then I’d imagine that she’ll be the one to blame for any small fights you two might have.
She doesn’t genuinely care about you because it’s all pretend to her. She has bigger priorities.
This means she’s not supportive of the relationship and she does nothing to protect your emotional health.
After all, she doesn’t really want it to work out, so she will give you negative and discouraging comments towards your relationship.
16) She doesn’t care about your family and friends.
If a girl is only pretending to love you, then she won’t have the motivation to get to know your family and friends. makes no effort to get to know them.
Girls who love you will always try their best to get to know your family and friends.
They will want to go out of their way to make sure you have a great time when you’re around them and they’ll also want to make a great impression.
She’ll want to prove to your parents that she is the right girl for you.
So if your girl doesn’t like your family or friends, and doesn’t really make any effort, then she probably isn’t in love with you.
17) She is not understanding of your need for space.
A woman who loves a man will understand why he needs to take time out and be alone in order to recharge, focus, and recharge in order to do the things that he loves doing.
If she’s not understanding that you need alone time, it means she isn’t truly in love with you or she doesn’t have respect for you as a man.
Remember, if she doesn’t respect your needs as a man, then she doesn’t respect you.
And without true respect, there can never be true love.
18) She is not very loyal.
She’s not loyal to you because she’s either sleeping with other men, or she is only with you as a last resort and doesn’t really care about your relationship.
Either way, she’s not very loyal.
If a woman truly loves a man then she will be loyal to him and only him. She won’t show any interest in other men and will only want to be with him for the rest of her life.
You’ll be her first option when she wants to go out and she won’t flirt with other men when she’s in your presence.
Obviously, if your woman does any of these things, then that’s not a good sign and she doesn’t truly love you.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into place
It may sound conceited or narcissistic to focus on loving yourself first. But it’s not.
The point isn’t to believe you’re better than others or to accept things about yourself that you really do need to change.
It’s about developing a healthy and nurturing relationship with… you!
Loving yourself is about committing to who you are, understanding the many different nuances to your identity, and showing yourself a level of care and intimacy that we usually reserve for other people.
Unfortunately, we’re not taught how to love ourselves from an early age. And we end up caring about what others think of us rather than focusing on what we need at a more fundamental level.
This is why we partnered with Rudá Iandê to produce a free masterclass on transforming our relationships through the practice of self-love.
It’s currently playing on The Vessel (one of our partners) but only for a limited time.
Thousands have attended and told us that the masterclass has completely transformed their relationships for the better.
It’s a must-watch and we couldn’t recommend it more highly.