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15 signs she is testing your patience to decide if you’re a potential boyfriend

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You start to worry that the woman you’re dating doesn’t like you back.

Now, you want to know if she is interested in you.

It’s one of those “test” dates, so you have no idea what the conclusion will be.

You’ve reached out to her on social media and have done your best to initiate conversations, but you’re unsure if she is serious.

She has made a few advances, but you do not know if she desires to meet you.

The signs that she is testing your patience could range from being too clingy or jealous.

Or it could be her being on her phone (or texting) the whole time, not coming out with you the first night, or even not leaving her phone at home.

Is she just wasting your time to see if you’ll follow through, or is she looking for something serious?

How can you tell?

There is no surefire way to know when a girl likes you. You have to read between the lines to figure out when to set up another date.

So what should you do?

Look here.

We’ve come up with 15 signs to help you tell if she is testing your patience to see if you are serious about dating her in the future.

1) She’s telling you too much about herself

When girls talk too much, they’re probably just trying to learn more about you.

It’s one thing to tell you her age, but it’s another when she talks on and on about herself.

If she rambles endlessly about every detail of her life to the point that it gets annoying, she is probably testing you.

If she talks about her experience or childhood in detail, you have to brace yourself.

She does this because she shows you that she wants to see if you can keep up with her.

Don’t try to keep up with her constantly, but be attentive while talking with her.

Be interested in what she has to say and the different things she likes.

If you are super into her, she will share all her good qualities and talk your ear off.

But hey! Look at the silver lining.

This is pretty normal behavior for girls who fall for you.

2) She’s picking her favorite nights to meet up

After a couple of dates, you should be able to tell when she wants to meet.

If she picks nights that work for her or only exact dates that work for her, she is probably just trying this out to see if you’ll follow through with her.

It’s also good to know this in advance to arrange a more convenient time to meet.

For example, if you are on vacation and she wants to meet up, make sure you have time off the next day to have enough time to have fun.

And of course, if she wants to meet during the week or weekend, try setting a date with no conflict with any other plans you might have.

When girls want to hang out, and you make plans, she should be a bit excited.

This means that she wants to see you again as soon as possible, and she will find a way to get out of her schedule.

If she keeps giving you alternate dates or planning nights that aren’t her favorite, then something is up.

Or maybe she doesn’t love you enough yet, but she is testing you.

It’s time for you to put your detective skills to the test.

3) She keeps bringing her phone for no reason

Girls are generally attached to their cell phones.

They love texting and calling, and they seem to use it more than guys do.

That being said, if your girl keeps bringing her phone for no reason, then she might be testing you.

She may not even know why she is doing it, but she’s just checking her text messages and Facebook messages almost every time you talk with her.

She’s probably trying to see if she can interrupt your conversation with some social media nonsense. This can be an indication that she is testing your patience.

You might not even notice it because you don’t usually carry a phone or cell with you when you meet someone.

Let her have her phone, but act like you don’t notice it.

Keep it light and act like you don’t find it suspicious when she checks her phone every so often.

As long as you are in a neutral setting, you should be okay.

4) She talks to you on a weekday, but not friday or sunday

So she doesn’t want to have plans with you on weekends?

Rest easy.

Sometimes, a girl will check you out on the weekdays but not want to meet on Friday or Sunday night.

Girls need to know how you feel about them by looking at your actions.

If they are test-driving you to see if you will keep up with them, they will sometimes pick the right days to meet you.

This is because Friday and Sunday are typically girls’ days off, and they want to ensure that you won’t mind them staying out late on these days.

This can be a sign that she is testing whether you are serious about dating her or not.

So if you really like her, then don’t be afraid to let her know it.

Even if she is testing your patience, tell her that you want to see her on the weekends.

This might make her happy, and she may finally realize that you are serious about dating her.

5) She doesn’t make eye contact with you when you meet

Here’s a scenario.

When you meet her for the first time, she fidgeted with her hands or looked away from you.

She didn’t look into your eyes when she spoke.

But fear not!

These are all signs that she is testing your patience.

When a girl is trying to test your patience, she may not look directly at you as much as she normally does.

When you meet someone for the first time, it often feels awkward when you try to look into their eyes.

She may have also chosen a place where there is a lot of movement and distraction on purpose.

While you aren’t really talking about anything in particular, she may be looking around whenever you talk with her.

Many women feel uncomfortable because they don’t know if it’s okay to let their guard down.

If you two just met, then these things might not bother you.

The more you talk, the more comfortable she should be making eye contact with you and looking directly into your eyes while speaking to you.

When you both sit down next time, be confident and ask her questions while she looks deep into your eyes.

If her eyes are wide and she is serene, then it’s a sign that she is genuinely interested in talking to you.

She will feel comfortable enough with you to let go of the nervousness and just enjoy talking with you at that moment.

If she looks away when speaking to you, then you know that she isn’t interested in starting a conversation.

She is more comfortable when she has some distraction so she can look away from you. This is a sign that you should be looking for another date in the near future.

Don’t waste too much time trying to court her if she isn’t interested in you.

6) She argues with you or gets defensive

So she always has something to say.

She likes to argue, and she gets defensive when you are trying to gauge her level of interest in you.

She also doesn’t like you to ask direct questions, and she will sometimes talk around them.

This is another sign that she is examining your level of patience.

You can’t help that she doesn’t want to talk about the one topic you want to discuss, but she wants to rankle you by talking about other things that have nothing to do with it.

When a girl is trying to test her level of interest in you, she will test how defensive and critical of you she can be.

She may test how you handle criticism to see how you will react if she should become your girlfriend.

She also likes to argue with you because it’s a way to gauge your level of patience.

Don’t get mad at her for arguing with you because she is probably testing you.

Be confident and take control of the conversation during these times.

Try to redirect the conversation at hand back on course, but do it in a very subtle way.

7) She complains about her job or family

Here’s the scenario.

You guys meet at a local coffee shop, and she complains about her job or family.

Maybe it never occurred to you that this person you are talking to is actually in a job that may be stressful.

She might not be complaining as much as asking if you have any advice on how to deal with her job or family.

This is another sign that she is trying to keep tabs on your level of patience.

When a girl is trying to test your level of patience, she will test you on how patient you are.

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If she’s complaining a lot while she’s at the coffee shop with you, then that’s okay. That’s because this isn’t one-on-one time that she has set aside just for you.

This is time designated for her to vent about whatever happens to be bothering her at that moment.

Besides, if she’s complaining a lot and you are the one talking to her, then you are probably interested in dating her.

This is a sign that she is happy to see you.

Just let it happen, and don’t be too concerned with what she is complaining about.

She might be telling you something that could help you in your career or someone you know.

If there still isn’t any progress, then focus on the fact that she is trying to keep tabs on your patience level.

Also, a girl venting out to you is a sign that she sees you as someone with whom she can share the good and bad days.

You are on the right track.  Sail forward.

8) She is quiet when you talk to her

She doesn’t think much of what you’re saying, or she has a lot on her mind.

Sometimes, it may just be that she isn’t that into you.

But if nothing else works, she might be testing your patience level.

You should try to find out what is bothering her so you can work around it and avoid future conflicts.

A girl who is testing her level of interest in you may also want to see if you are someone who will listen to her complaints and help her.

She might test the level of patience of a guy she is dating by being quiet at times.

When she is quiet, it doesn’t mean that she is upset with you or has nothing to say.

It just means that she is thinking about a lot of things at once.

She may even be trying to figure out what to say in response to something you just said.

If you are the one doing the talking, then you might think that she isn’t interested in hearing what you have to say.

She’s just not as talkative when she is feeling challenged or intimidated.

Try not to take it personally because she is testing you.

She might want to see how patient you are when dealing with a difficult situation.

9) She talks about her feelings a lot

She tells you how she is feeling or tries to get you to understand what she is thinking.

This can be an indication that she has some feelings for you and wants to test how much you care about her.

You might feel bad for her because she is talking about her feelings at times, but it’s okay.

She’s just trying to assess the level of interest a guy has in her.

Let her talk about her feelings if she is talking to you. Don’t be too shy and don’t try to change the topic as soon as possible.

Just listen to what she has to say and let her have the floor on that subject.

If she keeps talking, then that’s a good sign that you are someone who will give her some space when it’s needed.

You don’t have control over how she is feeling at the moment.

Just take it all in stride because this is her way of giving you a test on her level of interest in you.

The only way for her to know for sure if you are interested in her is if the two of you become closer just by being mutually aware of each other’s feelings.

10) She doesn’t accept your invitations or says she has a lot to do

She may have to attend a family event, but she still puts you off by saying that she has a lot of things to do.

You just want to meet up with her, but she can’t make it.

She may say that she has a lot of things to do and doesn’t want to put you off by canceling the appointment.

If she continues to put you off, then she will eventually put you off at all.

Or

She may just be trying to test how patient you are when she tells you that she has a lot of things to do but is still open to meeting up with you.

Maybe even go as far as offering to meet up with her somewhere else instead.

When a girl is testing the level of interest in her by putting off plans for meeting up with you, she might also be testing your patience.

This can be a sign that she wants to see if you are honestly interested in her.

If you are persistent, then this is your way of testing her level of interest in you.

11) She tells you she is busy in the next few weeks

She might also be trying to test you if she says that she is really busy in the next few weeks.

You don’t have to give up if she says this, but you just have to wait for her to get back on track with her schedule.

You could also ask her where would be a good time for the two of you to meet up, so she can have some time off from her busy schedule.

On another note, she may just be trying to test your patience level by saying that she will have time off in the next few weeks.

She may also be testing you to see if you are someone who will wait for her instead of canceling your plans.

If she says that she is really busy in the next few weeks, then you can try to re-arrange the date for three days or a week later.

12) She gets jealous when you hang out with other girls

If she gets jealous when you hang out with another girl, then she wants to know if you have feelings for that girl.

The fact that she gets jealous when you hang out with another girl shows that she might be interested in knowing whether or not you have real feelings for the other girl.

If she gets jealous and protective of you, then that’s a good sign that she has some feelings for you already.

Being protective of the person you like is a good sign that you have strong feelings for them.

She also might just want to see if you are someone who will spend time with someone else to have fun or because you are interested in her.

She may even get jealous because she is interested in knowing if you have a similar interest in her.

13) She says she wants to be friends

Sometimes girls can just be testing you to find out if you will be someone who could be just a friend or a lover.

You might think that she wants to be friends with you, but what she actually wants is to be in a romantic relationship.

If the two of you become closer and more serious, then it might turn into a love affair after all.

If she says that she wants to be friends to test your level of interest in her, then she may also be testing your patience.

You might just give in and accept her as a friend, but she may want to know if you are willing to take that step with her.

She’ll test your patience and interest appropriately by saying that she wants to be friends with you first.

She wants to see if you will keep being someone who will hang out with only friendship and nothing else.

Once she has tested your patience, she’ll make a move sooner.

She might also be concerned that you are only interested in being friends with her because you just want to be her friend.

She might be hoping that you will show some interest in her by asking her to go on a date.

This can show her that you are someone who can put others first without letting yourself get hurt and so your intentions towards others are genuine.

14) She shows up at your house or office

She might show up at your house or office even if you didn’t invite her. She might want to know if you are interested in her.

She might also be testing your patience by coming over to your place without an invitation.

But if she does come to visit, then it is okay to invite her in and give her a tour.

You could also ask her to take a walk in the park or go out for lunch or dinner.

If she shows up at your house, then she is just testing to see if you are someone who will show up at her place without being invited first.

She may also want to see if you are someone who will go out of your way to show her some attention.

She is also testing your patience by coming over unannounced.

And finally…

15) She asks too many questions

She might be testing to see if you are someone who can provide her with the answers that she wants.

This could also mean that she is interested in what you have to say, so don’t take it as a bad sign that she is asking you a lot of questions.

As long as you feel comfortable answering them, then there’s no reason to worry about her questions.

You are a person who has a lot of interesting things to say, so it’s okay if she asks you a lot of questions.

She is probably asking you all those questions because she wants to get to know you better.

Hear me out.

There is a big possibility that she wants to gauge how you will be as a lover based on your answers to her questions.

If she’s interested in what you have to say and how you think about certain things, then that’s good news, and it means that she might want a relationship with you already.

And there you have it!

If you are interested in knowing whether or not she likes you, then try to consider doing the things above and see if they work.

If they do, then proceed to have a relationship with her.

Remember that it’s always okay to ask her if she likes you or not.

An uncomfortable situation can become less awkward and more comfortable if you just ask her how she feels about you.

Women are sometimes difficult to read, but with patience and an open mind, you’ll realize that you just need to stay focused and you’ll understand how she feels.

How this one revelation changed my love life

It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…

I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.

I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.

I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.

If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.

Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.

I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.

We do this by promoting his masterclasses.

One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.

Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.

==> Check it out here.

Best wishes,
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder

Written by Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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