14 undeniable signs she is keeping her options open (complete list)

Sometimes you get the feeling that she is not fully committed to you.

What are the signs she is keeping her options open?

This post will provide you with 14 undeniable signs that the woman is keeping her options open for a potential relationship.

So pay attention and use them to your advantage!

1) She’s trying to be friends with you

If she’s always trying to be friends with you, rather than being in a committed relationship with you, it could be a red flag that she is keeping her options open.

She may even say that she doesn’t want a serious relationship right now and would rather be friends with you.

She is not making any plans for you in the future.

She only sees you for one-time encounters and not as a part of any kind of long-term plan.

She may ask you to hang out with her and her friends, but she probably won’t be bringing you along on any dates.

A woman who wants a future with you will want to get serious quickly.

Not liking you enough to make time for you shows she’s not invested in you.

If she is interested, she will find time for you and sacrifice other things to be with you.

2) She doesn’t bring up the idea of exclusivity

If she only wants you, she will be much more enthusiastic about the idea of exclusivity, but if she doesn’t even want you to bring up the idea then it’s a clear sign that she is keeping her options open.

She will want to keep things casual and leave the option of seeing other people open.

She may tell you that she doesn’t want a relationship right now, but she wants to keep the lines of communication open and be able to hang out with other people until she’s ready to fully commit to one person.

Why am I so sure?

Because this is something my relationship coach explained a while ago when I was facing issues in my relationship.

It turns out that avoiding to bring the idea of exclusivity is a direct sign that people are trying to keep their options open. At least, that was something that happened in my relationship.

A certified coach from Relationship Hero helped me figure out what was really happening and most importantly, provided practical solutions about the way I should react.  Even though I didn’t believe them at first, their solution actually saved my relationship.

So, if she doesn’t bring up the idea of exclusivity, speaking to a certified coach might help you understand how to react.

Click here to get started.

3) She does not want to introduce you to her friends or family

That’s a big one!

If she doesn’t introduce you to her friends or family, but would rather keep you a secret, it could be that she doesn’t consider you an important part of her life at all.

She will want to keep things low-key and not rush into anything too quickly.

This shows that she really doesn’t think of you as a potential boyfriend or husband.

And you know what?

If you ask her if she wants to introduce you to her friends, she will probably say that she doesn’t want to rush things or that she wants to take things slow.

She will also probably say that it’s too soon to meet the people that are closest to her.

Meeting the people that mean the most to her is a big step in a new relationship and she will be wanting to take her time with it.

4) She’s very guarded about her phone and social media

If you try to ask her to share her phone with you, she will most likely be uncomfortable about it.

She is not comfortable with allowing you access to things such as her text messages and social media accounts.

She doesn’t want you to see the things she shares and will keep them hidden.

You can’t judge her for hiding what you may think is “embarrassing”, but you might have to accept that your relationship is going to be different than most other relationships before it.

5) She has a lot of male friends on social media who are single

When you look at her Facebook page or social media account, you see a lot of photos of many single men that she knows.

It could be a sign that they are “backup” guys.

She may have been trying to find her “ideal” match and these are the friends who were her last resort.

She will want them around because she is considering them if she does not find the guy of her dreams.

She’s not actually talking to these guys, but if she has them on social media, it’s because she wants to keep them around as potential partners just in case she might want to be with them instead of you.

6) She talks a lot about other men

If she’s talking about other guys a lot, it’s a sign she is keeping her options open for another guy.

She may be trying to make you feel jealous with her talk of other guys – this will make you try harder to win her over.

This is what psychologists call “mate-guarding.”

She will let you know that there are other men who are interested in her and she has the ability to have other relationships.

This shows that you are one of many options for her.

She may not text it explicitly, but if you ask yourself whether or not she likes to talk about other guys, the answer would probably be yes.

7) She gets excited about the new attention she’s getting from other men

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If she’s getting excited about the attention that she is getting from other men, it could also mean that she is keeping her options open for somebody else.

She wants to be able to see if she can do any better than you in a different relationship.

She may be wondering if her next boyfriend will be better looking, smarter, more fun or just better in general.

If you can’t accept this possibility, then you should set some boundaries around how much freedom she has.

8) She does not share much about her past

Her past can be very telling about who she really is.

If she does not share much about it, it signals that she may be trying to hide something from you.

The more she shares with you, the easier it will be for you to get a sense of who she really is and decide if she’s a good match for you.

9) She only takes you out when it’s convenient for her

If she only takes you out when it’s convenient for her, but never makes plans with you, it means that dating you is a last resort.

She has better things to do, like seeing her friends, going on a hike or hanging out with her family.

She may even say that you are not her priority or that she prefers to go out with her friends.

10) She makes excuses not to go out with you

If she makes excuses not to go out with you, it could be one way that she is keeping her options open.

She may even say that she doesn’t like restaurants or going to certain places.

This can be a sign that she isn’t attracted to you at all, but it also could be a sign of trying to keep things low-key and not rush into anything too quickly.

11) She talks about her ex-boyfriends a lot

If she is constantly talking about past relationships or ex-boyfriends, it’s probably because she is trying to see what you have to offer in comparison.

She wants to make a list in her head of what she likes and does not like about you.

She will use this information for her future boyfriends.

12) Her actions don’t match her words

One of the best ways to detect whether or not someone is keeping their options open is if they are being very honest with you while they are telling you how they feel.

If they sometimes talk about how much they like or love you, and then turn around and act like you’re not important, that could be a red flag that she’s keeping her options open.

Her actions don’t match her words, that is a very common scenario in almost every relationship.

If you believe she likes you, but it’s hard to tell whether she wants to be with you or not, that’s a red flag.

She may not even feel like being with you.

This can be very hard to spot, but if you are trying to read her mind and it isn’t working out, this could be why.

13) She always answers “I don’t know my feeling” when you ask about commitment

If you ask her about the commitment, then she will say “I don’t know how I feel”.

She will tell you that it’s hard for her to know how she really feels about you.

She may even say that she isn’t ready for a commitment or that she wants a little more time before she can decide about committing to you.

This shows that she is unsure about her feelings toward you and she’s still testing what it means to be in a relationship with you.

She wants to keep her options open, because she may not be sure if you are the right guy for her.

14) You don’t know where you stand with her emotionally or romantically

If you are with her and you get the feeling like that, it’s maybe a sign that she is keeping her options open.

You get a feeling that she is giving you enough attention and affection, but you’re not sure where you stand with her.

She will be giving you affection, but it will always feel like she is holding back her true feelings.

She won’t be as open with you as much as a potential girlfriend would be.

If she does open up to you, it will most likely only be about superficial things like movies or common interests and not about deep emotionally vulnerable things.


Everyone has their own way of dealing with relationships and it can be hard to figure out what someone else is thinking.

The most important thing to remember is that if she is keeping her options open, it does not mean she doesn’t like you at all.

If you want to really get her attention, Kate Spring can help you out.

She’s transformed dating and relationships for thousands of men.

One of the most valuable things she teaches is this:

Women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.

Women don’t like assholes because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women – and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring.

She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across to make women obsessed with you (whilst remaining a good guy).

Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

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