The world feels like it’s going crazy these days, doesn’t it?
Is it just our exposure to high-drama news and controversy or are things really melting down?
One thing I know is that negative people don’t help…
Here are the top indicators that you’re dealing with a real downer who’s only going to sabotage your motivation and clarity of mind.
Here are the top indicators that you’re dealing with a real downer who’s only going to sabotage your motivation and clarity of mind.
1) They only focus on problems
Take almost any example and you can see both problems and opportunities.
Say, a struggling business:
It’s upsetting, dispiriting and hard on finances. It’s a crushing blow to the dreams the founders had at the start.
It’s also a test that can increase resilience, teach lessons and lead to the opportunity to start a new business.
But one of the worst signs of negative energy in a person is those who only focus on problems.
What if X goes wrong?
Well, what about Y?
They are like a warship that just can’t stop tracking its enemy, except its enemy is anything positive or remotely hopeful.
Sink and destroy, sink and destroy.
Stay as far away as possible from someone who only focuses on problems in just the same way you should stay far away from those who only focus on the positive and deny or repress problems.
2) They’re high on blackpills
The idea of taking various “pills” as buying into certain versions of reality started gaining ground in the years after the Matrix film.
In that movie the main character Neo is given a choice to take the blue pill and remain blissfully ignorant that his world is a fake computer program or to take the red pill and realize he’s a human battery in a giant, demonic simulation.
Since the Matrix the pill metaphor has expanded considerably, including the use of terms such as whitepill (focusing on optimistic outcomes) and blackpills (seeing the downside and hopelessness of everything).
The thing about blackpills is that they aren’t always all wrong.
We are all going to die. Civilizations do experience rise and fall. Many people in our lives will let us down.
A certain kind of person at a certain stage in their life can start to basically get high off blackpills and enjoy ruining the good mood and joy of others. They love to constantly see the dark underbelly of everything because it makes them feel like a brave truth-teller who gets to ruin everyone else’s tranquil picnic.
Such people are best avoided. If they seem just a little too happy to be talking about how horrible everything is, keep your distance…
3) They are fake nice
The only thing worse than cruel and ignorant people are fake nice people.
Let’s be honest:
They’re practically everywhere. They smile at you with a big wide grin and don’t mean a f*cking centimeter of it.
They congratulate you at work and curse under their breath walking away.
Some of the worst wolves you’ll ever meet in your life are decked out in pure white sheep’s wool.
So you have to be careful, because sometimes very negative energy is hidden under a very pleasing exterior.
4) They sabotage you in various ways
Another of the top signs of negative energy in a person is that they try to sabotage you in various ways.
This could be as simple as talking behind your back at work to get you a negative performance review all the way up to trying to break up your relationship by seducing you or spreading rumors with your partner.
Negative energy can often hide behind the appearance of a joke.
For example, bullies will often claim to only be joking when they mock how someone looks, what they believe or anything else about them.
By making their undermining of you seem like a joke, people sometimes believe they are hiding their vindictive, negative energy. This type of gaslighting is a common way that negative energy works to derail you, relying on your own good faith and benefit of the doubt to allow it to spread.
5) They try to control your future
Helpful advice and guidance is something we should all be thankful for.
Control and force is another matter.
One of the worst signs of negative energy in a person, often a parent or romantic partner, is the desire to control your future.
They will use all sorts of ways to basically make you feel that your own plans and ideals are insufficient and that you must get someone else’s approval or sign-off to proceed with your life. This kind of weakening, negative energy can be very damaging.
I mentioned earlier how the help of a gifted advisor can reveal the truth about how negative spiritual energy is working its way into your life.
This is something that’s very important to know about, because there are often dark energies holding you back that you may even not be fully aware of coming from others around you.
You could analyze the signs until you reach the conclusion you’re looking for, but getting guidance from someone with extra intuition will give you real clarity on the situation.
I know from experience how helpful it can be. When I was going through a similar problem to you, they gave me the guidance I sorely needed.
Click here to get your own love reading.
6) They demand you conform to their values
If you believe something strongly and share it with others I see no problem with that.
The problem occurs with force and applying pressure or bullying to get someone to conform with your views.
It’s one of the worst signs of negative energy in a person:
Whether it’s your boss, your romantic partner, your dad or your doctor, the attempt to get you to believe what they do can be very distressing.
The other person may genuinely believe they are factually correct or that you are misled or even hold harmful views and approaches to something in life.
But their attempt to force and pressure you to conform to their priorities and values can be highly disempowering and leave you feeling completely void of personal agency.
Be careful around this trait, because it can sneak up on you and run your life before you’re even aware of its tentacles taking hold.
7) They try to unload their drama on you
We all have some drama going on now and then, but one of the most exhausting signs of negative energy in a person is that they try to unload all their drama on you. Their car’s broken? You’re going to hear about it for half an hour…
Their relationship’s in trouble and they think their partner is cheating? They’re going to talk about how they’re the eternal victim and nobody gets it…
OK, maybe so…
But even if you’re a close friend or confidante, why should you be the sounding board for everything going on in someone else’s life?
It’s exhausting, for one thing.
Furthermore, it’s almost always one-sided: You’re expected to listen and sympathize 24/7 but when you need help this negative person is nowhere to be found.
Hard pass.
8) They judge constantly
Among the worst signs of negative energy in a person is the tendency to be overly judgmental.
I know because I myself often engage in this: I judge everything negatively and see its faults.
If you notice this in yourself, it’s something you can work on in various ways.
The fact is that this need to judge comes out of deep insecurity and frustration.
The best solution I’ve found is actually in my own lungs.
I truly get it, dealing with negative energy from others and yourself can be hard, especially if you’ve become very accustomed to it and it’s now “normal.”
If that’s the case, like it is for me, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach.
Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.
The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul.
After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.
And that’s what you need:
A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focusing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So if you’re ready to say goodbye to unnecessary anxiety and stress, check out his genuine advice below.
Click here to watch the free video.
9) They gaslight you in a relationship
It’s important to be very careful about partners who pass along a lot of negative energy to us. After all, our intimate relationships are where we spend so much of our time and energy.
If the person closest to us is spreading all sorts of toxic vibes it can really impact our lives in a bad way.
One of the worst signs of negative energy in a person is a romantic partner who gaslights you constantly…
Gaslighting is to make you think that what you are seeing as a problem is actually not happening or is happening but is your fault…
This is very common for negative partners to do in relationships, and it’s difficult to deal with.
If this is happening to you, it’s essential that you stand up for yourself and ultimately walk away from the relationship if your partner won’t take responsibility for what they are doing.
10) They try to sow division
Another of the disturbing signs of negative energy in a person is that they like starting fights between you and other people.
Sowing division is often in their bag of tricks, and the results can get really ugly.
It happened to me in a family situation last year where an extended relative of mine was getting very critical of me to my own close family. This led to all sorts of arguments and extended conflicts that really never needed to happen.
But the negative energy of one person infiltrated into everything and caused a big hubbub out of nothing, leading to all sorts of hurt feelings and divisions where there didn’t used to be any.
Watch out for this, because those who sow division have ways of slipping between the cracks and pretending to be innocent once they start their fights.
11) They want to play victim
One of the most depressing signs of negative energy in a person is the desire to always be the victim.
It can be worse than a drug addiction in some people, and I’ve struggled with it myself.
The problem with playing victim is not that it’s necessarily a lie, it’s that it demands attention and sympathy instead of generating personal empowerment and action.
We are all victims of life, love and fate in various ways, some more so than others.
But the more we compete to see who’s worse off, the worse we feel! And the more we enter a downward cycle of only noticing the downsides of life.
Don’t get me wrong:
Only focusing on the positive is also very toxic. It’s important to be honest about what’s wrong and address it.
But that’s much different than obsessing about what’s wrong or how the universe is out to get you.
Nobody wins that game, ever.
12) They argue even if it’s about nothing
Arguing is the default setting of a negative person. They thrive on it. They create it out of thin air like a dark magician.
You could be having a magical day in the sunshine and they will come up with a way to start an argument about sunscreen.
You could be enjoying a fresh pint and they start an argument about beer and calories.
This kind of negativity can actually be amusing at first, but after awhile it just becomes so aggravating.
Everyone around them wants to say one simple thing:
“Can you please shut the f*ck up?”
13) They can’t stop complaining
Complaining is not reserved to negative people: we all do it, as far as I know.
Maybe saints don’t do it…
The difference with someone who’s next-level negative is that they complain more than most people. They complain constantly. They complain about good weather and bad weather.
They complain about being in a relationship and being single.
They complain about hating their job and they complain when they don’t have a job. They’re just full-on stuck in an addiction to whining about life.
It’s sad and it’s totally counterproductive. If you’re in close quarters with someone like this make sure that you don’t also get infected with the complaining disease.
It can be really hard to shake!
14) They mooch and freeload 24/7
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help: requesting and giving help are fundamental parts of our mission as humans.
But mooching and freeloading is different because it’s one-sided and manipulative. Think of a 20-something who never moves out of home and demands that his parents pay everything. When they ask him to get a job he complains that he has depression and they don’t understand.
When they suggest he seek help or try to work on it, he says they are just blaming him for being depressed because they don’t understand. Then he demands more money to buy a new video game.
And so the cycle continues…
15) They only focus on self-gain
Wanting what’s good for you in life is logical and healthy.
Only caring about your own gain is not only selfish, however, it’s also illogical.
I could care so much about profits that I destroy my area with timber logging and then end up living in an ugly clearcut instead of a beautiful forest.
We can literally miss the forest for the trees due to focusing on self-gain. We can destroy our own lives by only trying to help our own lives.
That’s why a me-first person is actually a very negative energy person. They don’t collaborate or grow, they just hoard and shrink.
Avoid…
Don’t drown in the swamp…
Too much negative energy in a person can play tricks on you. The biggest trick it plays is making you think it’s your problem.
Especially if it’s your partner, family member, friend or coworker, you may feel like their struggles are up to you to fix or be a constant ally on.
Here’s a secret:They’re not.
You can be supportive, you should be.
But negative energy and toxic undermining behaviors are not your problem.
That is on the person engaging in them to work through and process their issues on their own.
And the blockages you yourself are having are yours to work through.
Taking responsibility for yourself is the best thing you’ll ever do, and it doesn’t have to be complicated, either.
Like I said, it starts one breath at a time.
