Being in a friends-with-benefits situation with a guy is all well and good.
Until you start catching feelings…
When both of you start to like each other, a relationship can easily be on the cards. But if those feelings aren’t reciprocated, things probably aren’t going to end well.
So, how can you be sure that a guy sees your relationship as something more than just physical?
You could ask, of course.
Or you could look out for these 11 signs that are a dead giveaway he sees a future with you!
1) He organizes “real” dates
The most obvious sign it’s more than just physical for him is if he actually takes you out, rather than only inviting you in.
Nights in, “Netflix and chill”, and late-night invites aren’t something he’ll organize when he’s really into you.
Instead, he’ll actually ask you out on a proper date. Not necessarily something extravagant. But it’ll at least be dinner, drinks, a fun activity, or something you like.
He’ll do this because he wants to spend time with you outside of the bedroom. He wants to get to know you and do fun “relationship” things together.
He’ll also do it because he’s proud to be with you. He’s proud to say you’re the girl he’s dating and take things public!
Which, sadly, some guys don’t want to do when it’s just physical for them.
2) He texts you good morning and goodnight
When something is more than just physical for a guy, he won’t only text you when he’s bored, “in the mood”, or feeling lonely.
If he actually sees a future with you, he’ll be thinking of you from the moment he wakes up in the morning to when he falls asleep at night.
And you best believe he’ll be in touch with a good morning and goodnight text when he’s actually into you!
Why? Because that’s the stuff you just do when you’re in a relationship with someone. Not because it’s obligatory. But because you want to.
So if he does this with you, every night and every morning without fail, it’s a sure sign that it’s way more than just physical for him – and he wants a relationship.
3) He opens up to you
Talking about your problems is a sacred thing. It isn’t something you just do with anyone.
Unless you’re a bit of an oversharer or are overly trusting, I’d imagine you only open up to people you like and trust, right?
Well, guys feel the same!
In fact, it can be an even bigger deal for them to open up to someone, since some guys find it a little hard.
So if he opens up to you, talks about his problems, tells you how he feels about things, and gives you more insight into his life than just the surface-level stuff – it’s probably way more than just physical for him.
And he wants to tell you stuff so you get to know him better.
4) He listens to your problems
Like I said earlier, talking about your feelings is a sacred thing.
When a guy actually likes you, he’ll see it that way, too. His interest in you won’t just be physical, it’ll be emotional.
And he’ll want to talk to you about everything, even your problems.
He’ll see how big of a deal it is for you to open up. And he’ll listen for hours about your problems if it makes you feel better.
5) He cares when you’re upset (and wants to make you feel better)
A guy who likes you past the physical stuff will care if you’re upset, ill, crying, or hurt.
That’s not to say a guy doesn’t care about you if you’re just friends with benefits. He’s probably not heartless, after all!
But he wouldn’t do too much for you if he’s not that into you relationship-wise. Nor would he go out of his way to make you feel better.
He wouldn’t, for example, send flowers to your home if you’re having a bad day.
Or surprise you with a date at your favorite restaurant (which he probably won’t even know!).
6) He worries about you
As I mentioned before, most guys aren’t totally heartless.
Just because you’re friends with benefits rather than in a relationship, that doesn’t mean he’ll have no regard for your safety.
There will be exceptions, of course. Which means your guy either isn’t a good guy or he really isn’t interested in you (probably both).
But a guy will be concerned about your safety and wellbeing if he sees a future.
He won’t just make a quick “Get home safe” or “Text me when you’re home” comment. Those are things he should do whether he sees a future with you or not!
Instead, he’ll be genuinely concerned.
If you didn’t text that you’re home OK, he’ll be worried and might call or show up. If you need to travel late at night, he’ll take you and pick you up so you get there safely.
Basically, his actions will speak louder than his words!
7) He “woos” you
Guys don’t tend to get all mushy and romantic over girls they’re not trying to impress. Or girls they’re not falling in love with (and have no intention to!).
But when they actually see a future with you? It’s the complete opposite!
Even if they’re not overly romantic, they still find ways to treat you, make you smile, and “woo” you as best they can.
They might send you flowers or book a table at a fancy place. Or write you a love letter (if it’s really serious). They might do other little things, too.
Like I bought a new shirt and shoes when I was invited to meet my girl’s parents for the first time.
My brother learned a few words of his girlfriend’s native language when things started getting serious.
One of my work colleagues learned to cook her favorite meal because (and I quote):
“I’ll be cooking it for the rest of my life, so I might as well learn how to make it well now!”.
These are all signs he’s trying to impress you and put the effort in to show he really cares.
8) He texts you during the day
When something is more than physical, a guy won’t just message you late at night (when he’s lonely or after he’s been drinking).
He’ll message you at all hours. And no, it won’t be a message along the lines of:
“Want to come over tonight?”
“What are you up to?”
“What are you wearing?”
Instead, it’ll be a genuine text that starts a proper conversation.
Not a conversation that centers – or quickly leads to – the “physical” stuff, if you know what I mean…
9) He talks to you consistently
When I’m interested in someone, I want to speak to them all the time.
Going a week without messaging them, or even a day, just isn’t something I’d be happy to do.
But when something isn’t long-term? I probably won’t think about them all that much.
And, if I’m being honest, I’d quite happily go a good few days or even weeks without them popping into my head!
10) He invites you to meet his friends
Usually, when I invite a girl to meet my friends, it’s because I really, really like her.
I want her to come to social events with me. And I want her to meet the people who are important to me. Because she’s important to me.
But still, be careful with this one.
If all he does is invite you out with his friends, and he doesn’t do anything else on this list, that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re end game.
It could still mean it’s just physical for him. And it could mean he’s just inviting you to show you you’re just friends. Or because he wants you to come back to his later…
11) He introduces you to his parents
Finally, the most obvious sign a guy really likes you (and isn’t just in it for the “benefits”) is if he invites you to meet the parents.
Meeting the parents is a big deal for most guys. And it’s not something he’d do if you were just a friend with benefits.
Having asked my girlfriend, she’s confirmed that not even women would do this if the relationship was purely physical!
So if he’s invited you to dinner with the parents, to meet Grandma, or back home to his family, it’s a surefire sign that things are pretty serious between the two of you.
And, trust me, it definitely happens!
Not all guys know immediately when they’ve found the right person for them. Sometimes, it takes a bit of time to get to know you better before they catch feelings.
Just keep your wits about you when going into the “casual” dating world.
Some guys will tell you what you want to hear. And some guys really do just want something casual.
Or get too deep into a situation you don’t really want to be in…