Did you just get dumped? That’s rough, right?
There’s no shame in getting dumped.
In fact, getting dumped is a pretty good indicator that you’re probably not getting along with that person you’re dating.
A lot of people will say that there’s a difference between a breakup and getting dumped.
But if you look at it from a logical perspective, there’s not much of a difference.
The only difference is that getting dumped is more painful because it’s more personal and something that happens between you and the person you’re dating.
Regardless of what you call it, it’s hard. Dumps are painful, so you’re going to need to take some time to get over them.
And there’s a good chance you’re going to need to get some help. Here are 15 warning signs that someone may be stringing you along.
1) He only acts when he’s about to lose you.
He’s only interested in you when there’s nothing else in the picture.
The minute you start thinking about leaving, he comes running to tell you how much he cares.
He can’t wait to get you back.
Want to know more?
This is a typical tactic of manipulators and abusers: They string you along because they want to keep their options open. If someone broke up with them, they would experience the pain of rejection, rejection is painful and we don’t like experiencing it.
But if they don’t get rejected, they can continue to string the person along and continue the relationship with them when they want to.
They can always go back to the original person and go back to how things were.
So manipulative people do everything they can to avoid that feeling.
They string people along to maintain their options.
They’re only interested in the person when the person is around. They don’t want to lose you, but they don’t really care about you either.
The minute you start thinking about leaving, they start treating you better, because they’re afraid of losing you.
2) He makes promises, but doesn’t go through with them.
He’s constantly saying that he’s going to do something and then doesn’t go through with it.
He promises to call you, but doesn’t.
He promises he’s going to take you out, but never does.
He promises to see you again, but is usually too busy.
And when you confront him about this he says something like: “I never promised that! I only said I would try. And I do try, so there’s nothing wrong with me not succeeding every single time.”
But that’s not how it works.
If someone makes a promise and goes through with it, that shows that he cares about you and is invested in your relationship.
And if he’s not going to go through with it on his own, then what does that mean?
That means he’s stringing you along.
And if there’s no commitment from anyone, then the relationship is already at its end. You can just end things at any time because the imbalance of power is already there.
3) They avoid commitment.
One of the most common signs that someone is stringing you along is if they avoid commitment.
If you’ve been dating someone for a while, have you ever thought about asking them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend?
Do they avoid that commitment like the plague?
Or did they tell you that the timing is wrong, or maybe they just don’t think the two of you are ready for it yet? If any of this sounds familiar, they may be stringing you along.
If you try to get them to define the relationship or even just to be your official boyfriend or girlfriend, they will always come up with some sort of excuse.
They want you around, but they don’t want to commit themselves to you.
They make it clear that they’re not ready for a relationship and that things need to be casual for a while, but they don’t mention why.
I learned this from one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology – Carlos Cavallo.
In this excellent free video, Carlos explains exactly what men want from a relationship and it’s actually quite simple:
They just want to feel good around the woman they’re with.
To find out how to do this, check out his free video here.
4) He doesn’t call you his girlfriend.
Don’t be surprised if you find out that he never calls you his girlfriend.
He’ll just call you his “friend” or even just “girlfriend.”
But he won’t tell you that he has a special place in his heart for you, that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
He’ll tell you that you can call him “boyfriend,” but he’s not going to call you his girlfriend.
He doesn’t want to commit to you and he knows that if he does, there will be nothing for him to string the two of you along.
He doesn’t want to commit and he wants to keep his options open, so he keeps things undefined.
He knows that if he does, he’ll be stuck.
He doesn’t want to get hurt, so he tries to avoid it.
5) He avoids talking about the future.
He’s willing to go on a couple of dates but he never asks you about the future.
If you bring up any topic related to the future, like grad school, moving out of your parents’ house, getting a new job or even just living somewhere else for a while, he always responds very positively.
But at the end of the day, these are just words.
If someone is interested in you, they will be willing to make some sacrifices.
They will try to understand you and they will want to move forward with you.
If they don’t, that’s a red flag: They’re stringing you along because they just don’t have the same vision of the future that you do.
If you want to be dating someone who is definitely in it for the long run, you’ve got to be specific about the future.
You can’t keep dancing around the issue.
You have to know what your future looks like, you have to know if you’re moving in or if you’re going to stay put.
Yes, It’s really true!
Nobody wants to get hurt, so they feel uncomfortable talking about the future.
This is another reason why men are afraid of commitment.
If they do commit, they know that there will be no room for them to string their partner along. If a man is willing to commit, he won’t give his options away.
6) He blows hot and cold.
A typical cold-hearted manipulator will seem to have a lot of emotion for you one minute and then act indifferent the next.
They’ll go from loving you to hating you in seconds.
If they seem like they have a lot going on in their lives, that’s more than likely because they are trying to string you along and wait until they can get rid of you.
If they’re acting cold towards you, don’t take it personally.
They don’t want to be with you but they also don’t want to hurt your feelings, so they act indifferent and just blow things off.
That way it seems like the breakup is out of their hands and that there’s nothing anyone could do about it.
If you try to force the issue, it becomes a lot harder for them.
They don’t want to hurt your feelings or crush your hopes, so they just string you along.
They know that if they do play with your emotions enough, they can end things without you ever realizing it. You may be completely in love with him and have no idea he’s just playing with you.
7) They’re quick to judge you.
When you’re dating someone, it can be tricky to balance your social life and your relationship.
But if you have something big going on in your life, don’t be insulted if they don’t want to take part in it.
However, if they’re quick to judge you for doing things that are important to you and that have nothing to do with them, then this is a warning sign.
This is especially true if they criticize you for doing things that were outside of your control and were definitely not your fault.
It’s not that they should be supportive of your activities, however, they should listen to you and take part in them because they just want to feel closer to you.
The ideal situation is one where you can do a friend thing, or go see a movie with a girlfriend or go to the gym together.
But if they’re quick to criticize you for doing things that are important to you, then this is a
the sign they’re stringing you along.
I’ve been there, and I know how it feels.
When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.
I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.
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8) You have a feeling he only cares about sex.
If all he cares about is sex then this isn’t a good thing.
This is scary because you don’t know if he’s going to move on to someone else who can give him the sexual gratification that you can’t.
He doesn’t seem like a very caring person and if this is the case, then it seems like he doesn’t care about anyone but himself.
He’s only looking out for himself and doesn’t seem like he cares about you or anyone else.
If he’s only using you for sex, then that’s terrible.
What can you do?
You have to be honest with yourself and your situation.
It could be that he has been playing with your feelings from the start and has just been stringing you along for his own amusement or benefit.
If the closest thing you have to a friend is sex, then it seems like they’re your buddy but they’re not.
You’re not his girlfriend and they don’t care about your feelings or you as a person.
He’s just using you for sex and that should be a big red flag.
9) He doesn’t seem to be putting in any effort.
If he’s not trying to improve his relationship with you, then it seems like he’s not sincere or committed.
He might try to convince you that he is but it feels like there’s no real effort being made.
What does this mean?
It means that if it was easy for him to make the changes in your relationship, he would have already made them.
He wouldn’t be the one dragging his feet and delaying the situation.
It means that if he cared about you, he would be the one trying to get you to make changes.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy for anyone in a relationship and it takes hard work.
But if he’s not putting in the work, then doesn’t seem to care about what you have to say and only wants to reassure himself that he’s not doing anything wrong, then this is a sign he’s stringing you along.
10) He hasn’t introduced you to friends and family.
If he hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends, then it could mean that he’s not ready to be in a relationship or that he’s hiding something.
What does it mean if you introduce him to your friends and he doesn’t introduce you to his?
It means that either you are not ready for a relationship or that he has something to hide and knows if at the first sign of trouble, you will find out about this secret.
If he hasn’t introduced you to his family, then it could mean that he’s too ashamed to be seen with you or it could mean that he has done something to make him ashamed.
You can almost guarantee this sort of thing will come out in a relationship and the truth will get out anyway.
It always does.
New relationships are usually built on trust which is something you have to build up yourself.
11) He’s enjoying his life without you.
If he’s enjoying his life without you, it could mean that he’s content where he is, in a relationship with you.
It could also mean that he’s just ignoring you.
If he’s enjoying his life without you, this is a warning sign.
It’s time for you to know if he enjoys being with you or if he finds you boring. If it’s the latter and not the former, then it means that there’s something seriously wrong in your relationship.
This is not good news.
In either case, the signs are there and it’s obvious if this is how things are going to be from now on.
You can see what it means for yourself or if you don’t want to know then this should be another sign of something wrong with your relationship.
You can see for yourself that he’s not really into you.
He’s just stringing you along to make things seem normal.
12) He doesn’t really try to get to know you.
If he’s paying no attention to you and doesn’t try to get to know you, then this should be another red flag.
He has no interest in who you are as a person, and this isn’t any good.
If he knows your favorite color, but doesn’t know how you met or if he knows your birthday but has never celebrated it with you, then something is wrong with your relationship.
Any relationship is only as strong as each of the people in it and if he doesn’t care about you, then this is a sign that something isn’t right.
He might have many positive traits but if he doesn’t care about you, then there’s something wrong.
What if he’s in a relationship with you but doesn’t know any more about you than someone who just met you?
This is a big sign that something bad is going on.
13) He doesn’t make time for you.
If he’s not making time for you, then this is bad news.
He’s not spending time with you or showing that he cares.
You know this and it’s better to have the feeling of something being wrong than the feeling of nothing being wrong.
So, if he’s not making time for you, this could be a sign there is something wrong with your relationship and that needs to be fixed.
It could be that he’s too busy working to have time for you. This means he’s not very supportive and you don’t have time for each other.
Or it could mean that you are spending all your free time together and there is no more room for spontaneity or adventure.
This could also be a sign that he’s not getting the support he needs and you aren’t doing enough to help him.
It could even be that he doesn’t really care about you or your relationship.
14) He plays mind games on you.
Mind games are a big red flag.
If he’s playing mind games on you, this could mean that he doesn’t like you or that there is something you aren’t doing right.
It might mean that he just wants to test you and see if you care.
Or it might be that he has something deep-down inside him thinking these thoughts and he can’t think of any other way to make things clear.
Mind games are doing things to you without telling you what they are or without your consent.
They are things that make you feel angry, hurt, confused and worried but that he isn’t openly saying what they are.
Instead, he’s trying to put you in the position where you have to think for yourself about what the mind games mean.
This can be a sign of someone with a deep-rooted insecurity.
15) He seems interested in other women, even when you’re around.
If he seems interested in other women, this could be a sign that he has something deep-down inside that he doesn’t want to put into words.
So what else does it mean?
It could mean that he’s got something troubling him and isn’t ready to get it out yet.
It could also mean that he really likes you but doesn’t want to hurt you.
If he’s always looking at other women, then this is a bad sign.
If he’s also telling you off for looking at other women, then this is bad news.
It means that his mind is already made up and nothing will change it. If he wants different results from the relationship, he needs to start from the beginning.
There are lots of reasons why young men are able to have so many relationships at a young age, but the main reason is sexual competition and insecurity.
So, if he seems interested in other women when you’re around then it might be that your relationship is a bit of a game to him.
But don’t worry, there are still many good signs that he will adjust to the real thing and get more serious about you.
There are lots of signs that will let you know if there’s something wrong in your relationship or not.
Some of them are the type where you can check yourself without having to ask him anything.
Others are the type where it would show up if he said something but it’s better to check yourself first.
With some of the signs, you have to keep checking yourself every week or every month until you know for sure if things are still OK or not.
This may seem like a lot to keep checking up on. But if you do things this way, then it means that you’re really trying to understand what is going on.
And it means that you have the chance to save your relationship, if things are going wrong.