13 warning signs he’s a player in disguise

Are you in a relationship with a guy who seems too good to be true?

Do you find him incredibly attractive, funny, and sweet, but at the same time, something about him feels off?

Maybe it’s his weirdly frequent disappearances or the fact that he’s not as invested in you as you are in him.

If you have any doubts about your man, trust your instincts. Maybe he’s been keeping secrets from you because he’s a player in disguise!

Keep reading to learn about the warning signs:

1) He seems too good to be true

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The first red flag to look out for is that he seems too good to be true.

If you really think about it, how many guys out there are genuinely this great? Not many!

If a guy is being way too pleasant and acting like the perfect guy who is everything that you ever wanted, then he might just be too good to be true.

He might be a player trying to reel you in so that he can get what he wants, which is most likely to have sex with you.

Players aren’t interested in being friends with girls; they’re only interested in sleeping with them.

You see. players will act like they’re interested in dating you because they know you won’t sleep with them unless you’re in a relationship, but they don’t actually want to date you.

They’re just waiting for the right moment to pounce. So if your guy seems too good to be true, then he probably is!

2) He’ll disappear for days or weeks at a time

If your guy goes missing for long periods of time without any explanation, you should definitely be suspicious.

It might be that he’s just really busy, but if he has a pattern of disappearing for long periods of time without letting you know, then he’s probably meeting other girls.

A guy who is interested in having a relationship with you will try to see you as often as possible.

He’ll want to see you every day and be super excited when you suggest hanging out, even if it’s just for a couple hours. He’s not going to disappear for weeks at a time and then pop back up as if nothing ever happened.

If he does this, then he’s most likely cheating on you, and you should dump him immediately.

3) He’s overly flirty with other women

If your guy is super flirty with other women in front of you, that’s a big red flag that he’s a player.

He’ll be nice to waitresses, cashiers, and other girls he meets in general, but he’ll be overly flirty with them if he’s trying to get their attention.

But what’s even more suspicious is how he treats you. If he treats you like crap, is mean to you or is disrespectful, then he’s definitely a player.

If he’s being overly nice and flirty with other girls, but he’s treating you like crap, then what’s the real reason behind it?

He’s just trying to reel you in. He’s trying to make you feel insecure so that you’re more likely to date him because you feel like you have to date him to make him like you. He’s a jerk because he’s a player who just wants to sleep with you and then move on to the next girl.

4) He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family

If your guy doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family, there’s probably a reason behind it.

Maybe he’s embarrassed to introduce you to them because he’s not really interested in you like he should be and doesn’t want a lecture from his parents.

Or maybe he’s ashamed of you and doesn’t think you’re good enough for his friends and family.

Anyone who is interested in a serious relationship will want to introduce you to their friends and family so that they can see who they’re dating.

A player will usually avoid introducing you to them because he’s not invested in your relationship and doesn’t plan on being with you for long.

All in all, if he’s not introducing you to his family and friends, it’s because you’re just one among many women he’s seeing.

5) You feel like you’re constantly chasing after him

If you’re having to chase after your guy, that’s never a good sign.

Chasing after someone means that you’re always trying to get their attention. You’re always calling him, texting him, sending him emails, and trying to get him to hang out with you.

A guy who is interested in only having sex with you will not want to see you all the time. He might want to see you every once in a while, but he’s not going to want to see you every day.

So, if you feel like you’re constantly chasing after him and can’t get him to spend quality time with you, and if you only get to see him occasionally (usually at night), then he’s probably a player who’s only with you for sex.

6) His social media is filled with suspicious activity

If your guy has a private Instagram account, you might want to take a closer look at it because he could be hiding something.

If he suddenly closes his account when you start dating, you might want to be even more suspicious because he’s probably hiding from you.

If he has a bunch of private Instagram accounts, he’s probably meeting other girls on dating sites and using his Instagram to flirt with them.

If you log in to his Instagram account without him knowing, you’ll probably see tons of private messages from tons of girls who want to meet him.

A guy who is interested in only having sex with random women and isn’t interested in a real relationship will continue meeting them online because that’s where he’s most comfortable.

7) He has a shady past

If you’ve been dating your guy for a while and you’re still waiting for him to open up to you, there’s a chance that he has a shady past.

Ask him about his exes and if he’s been in a ton of relationships. If you ask him about his past, he might try to lie to you and make up a story.

You can usually tell when somebody is lying if they break eye contact often and get really nervous.

If he’s hiding parts of his life from you, there’s a good chance that he’s hiding things that will embarrass him or make him look bad.

The truth is that a guy who is interested in only having sex with you and nothing more isn’t going to care if you know about his bad reputation.

He’ll want to get you into bed as soon as possible so that he can move on and find the next girl he can start dating.

If he has a reputation for being a player, he probably doesn’t want you to know about it because he doesn’t want to scare you away.

He’s trying to reel you in and get you to trust him so that he can have sex with you and never have to tell you about his reputation.

8) He guards his phone

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If your guy is extremely guarded with his phone and won’t let you look at it, there’s a good chance that he’s hiding something.

Maybe he has an online dating account that he doesn’t want you to see or maybe he’s hiding texts and pictures from other girls.

If he doesn’t want you to see his phone, there’s a good chance that he has something to hide.

Think about it, why else would he be guarding his phone?

If he has secrets that he’s not willing to tell you, then there’s a chance that he’s a player. He’s trying to keep you away from his phone because he knows that you’ll see the secret things he’s doing behind your back.

In short: If he doesn’t want you to see certain things on his phone, then he’s definitely hiding something.

9) His social media accounts are full of girls

If you notice that his social media accounts are full of girls, there’s a good chance that he’s only using you for sex.

In a healthy relationship, both partners trust each other enough to share their social media accounts without any hesitation.

If he has a sudden change of heart and refuses to let you add him on social media, it’s a major red flag that he’s hiding something.

10) He has Tinder or Bumble on his phone

If he has Tinder or Bumble on his phone, you have every right to be suspicious.

The truth is that if a guy is looking to date as many girls as possible, he’ll definitely have these apps on his phone.

These apps are only for single people trying to meet other people. If your boyfriend has these apps on his phone, he’s definitely not looking for a committed relationship. He’s probably just looking for a one-night stand.

In other words: He’s a player.

11) He’s overly flirty with other women

If he’s overly flirty with every woman he comes across, he is definitely a player in disguise.

It’s almost like he wants you to notice it and call him out on it. He wants you to know that if you’re not around, he can flirt with other women and just have a good time. He’s most likely trying to let you know that he can’t be tied down.

He knows that you’re with him and that’s great, but he wants to make sure you know that he can walk away at any time and that if he finds someone he likes more, he can easily break up with you.

12) He only wants to hang out with you at night

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If your guy only wants to hang out with you at night and never during the day, I’m sorry to say it, but you’re his booty call.

I mean, he’s either a vampire or a player in disguise!

Let’s face it: If he was serious about dating you, he’d take you out to dinner and a movie. He’d plan fun stuff to do on the weekend.

If he only calls you to come over at night, it’s because he’s feeling lonely and you’re probably one of many girls he could have called.

13) He’s extremely secretive

In my experience, if your guy is extremely secretive about his past and likes to keep all of his social media and phone accounts private, something is up.

He could be hiding a ton of dating apps on his phone and he could be trying to hide the fact that he’s been in hundreds of relationships.

If you want to be with your boyfriend and trust him, you should let him know that you trust him and that you want to see his phone and social media accounts.

If he’s extremely secretive and doesn’t want you to see what’s on his phone, he’s definitely hiding something: he could be keeping photos of other women on his phone.

He might also be hiding dating apps that he doesn’t want you to see.

Bottom line

If something feels off, it probably is! Take seriously that voice inside of you that says something isn’t right and trust your gut instincts!

Don’t settle for a guy who doesn’t want to be with you. If you think you’re with a player in disguise, break up with him.

Don’t let him string you along and make you feel bad about yourself. You don’t deserve that!

You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and who is fully committed to the relationship.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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