You fell in love with a guy in a relationship. Maybe you already started something and now you are stuck in the middle.
This is a very complicated situation and emotionally challenging for sure, but that was the last thing on your mind when you saw his eyes watching you dance, right?
Well, if you are deep in it now, looking towards the future is the only logical step. There are signs that he will leave his girlfriend for you!
There is a chance for a happy ending. Let’s dive in!
1) He is always there when you need him
Guys who just want to fool around and keep his “score” high don’t care about getting together when you need him, only when he wants. This is why you can know for sure that you are more than just a fling for him if he comes when you need him.
If you didn’t have a chance so far to find out and you tried to be supportive, maybe it is time to test the waters. Call him and tell him that you are not feeling well and that you need his help.
His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If he drops everything and comes running to you, it means that he truly cares about you.
If he was with his girlfriend when you called, it means that he sees you as a priority and that he is serious about making changes.
This will tell you a lot about the way he feels about you for sure. You will be able to create a better picture of the things he wants from you.
2) He is making plans
It is not easy to be in a position to end someone’s relationship. It is emotionally messy and complicated in every way.
However, love doesn’t choose. We are only human.
These things happen and it is better to deal with guilt right from the start. Try not to make the situation worse and just pay attention to the way he is behaving around you.
If he starts talking to you about his plans to tell his girlfriend about you and breaking up without going into details that is a good sign. It means that he has been thinking about it and he is now just searching for the best way to do it.
Keep in mind that the best thing in this situation is to let him take care of it, because interfering in any way may just leave a bad taste in your mouth. Don’t push things because this is an extremely challenging situation and every wrong step can cause an even bigger mess.
Let him decide about the way, the time, and the place to tell her and clear the air so you two can build the future together. Have faith that everything will get sorted out in the best possible way.
Give the universe a chance to help you with some magic dust!
3) You spend the night together often
If the guy you like so much prefers to spend the night with you rather than spending it with his girlfriend, it means that he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. It is a clear sign that he doesn’t care if she finds out or not.
By taking this risk he shows his willingness to change his life. With today’s technology, it is very easy to find out someone’s location, so it can also mean that he is intentionally doing this to get exposed.
Some people fear confrontation and want to avoid it no matter what, which can sometimes lead to very difficult situations. Always keep in mind that this is his mess, so he should take care of it.
Finding out about you two won’t be easy for his girlfriend either, so make sure you don’t make it worse. Do what you can on your side to avoid causing even more pain to the girl.
Love can be blind and sometimes get us into an impossible situation. Do what you can on your part not to complicate it further.
4) It goes beyond physical
The physical aspect of the relationship is very important for sure.
However, if this is just a small part of your relationship and you share the same humor and the love for wicked jokes, scary movies, or anything else that you are absolutely crazy about, your bond is stronger.
By sharing the same passion and the view of the future, there is a greater chance that you will be able to build a life together. Life is not just the play under the sheets – it is so much more than that.
If you can agree on anything by exchanging a few sentences, that is golden. This world is too complicated as it is.
Finding a person who makes it simpler happens rarely. That’s why it should be treasured.
Take a look at the way he behaves when you are together. If he wants to share his dreams with you and he organizes new activities all the time, then it means that he is enjoying your company more than his girlfriend’s.
Perhaps he is not finding what he needs with her, so he wants to spend more time with you because you are more compatible. This doesn’t mean that he should be in a parallel relationship, but sometimes life has weird ways to help us find a soul mate.
5) He shares his deepest feelings with you
Being vulnerable is potentially very risky for every human being because it is a huge chance to get hurt. If the guy you truly like shares the way he feels with you, it means that he trusts you and that he sees that he is safe with you.
This is a truly huge step in every relationship. Try not to put too much burden on him, because he may be confused by the strength of the emotions stirring up so he may need some time to process those emotions until he is ready to face them.
If he openly talks about his feelings for you, it means that he has already gotten to know you so much that he wants you in his life and wants you to know it.
6) He is talking about the future with you
Being serious about someone means making plans. If you hear him say that he wants to visit Paris with you next year, it means that he wants to see you with him and that your relationship is not going to end soon.
Guys don’t talk about serious things such as the future for no reason. It means that he has thought things through and that he wants you to be there to enjoy it with him.
He may still be shy about it, so he doesn’t want to go so much into details. However, the fact that he sees you with him during summer vacation, winter holidays or he is making reservations is a positive sign that there will be more encounters.
While the signs in this article will help you understand if he’s going to leave his girlfriend for you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like your crush leaving his girlfriend for you. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
7) You can reach him anytime
There is a huge difference in behavior for guys when they are serious about someone or when they are in it just for the sex. If he is available to you every time you call him, it means that he is making room for you in his life.
He may not be completely clear on all of the things in his life, but he probably needs time to find a way to make it work. If you can’t wait for him to fully commit to you, you can be sure that the moment is near.
Guys, who don’t want to spoil their relationship, wouldn’t allow anyone to come near their girlfriend. The fact that he doesn’t mind when you call him says a lot about his feelings for you.
It is a clear sign that he wouldn’t mind if his girlfriend finds out, so he may even be enabling it.
8) He says he wants you in his life
If you hear this kind of statement from the guy you like, you can be sure that it is not taken lightly. It is something that he strongly feels is true.
Generally, girls are more open to talking about feelings than guys. So, when you hear a guy saying that you are very important to him, you can be sure this is huge.
Look at him while he talks about his feelings. His eyes will tell you everything.
9) He introduces you to his friends
The first rule of living a double life is that there are no public displays of affection so minimal attention is drawn. If your boyfriend starts introducing you to all of his friends, it means that he is serious about you.
However, keep in mind that putting you in this position may be uncomfortable. His friends will probably take sides, so there may be a comment or two about the other girl in his life.
As you are already pretty aware, this is not an exactly ideal situation. Try to protect yourself as much as possible.
Talk openly about the things you are not comfortable with. If you don’t want to meet his family and friends before he breaks up with his girlfriend that is ok too.
Being called a cheater or adulteress is not pleasant at all. Avoid this label by being careful about the way you behave in his inner circle of people.
Try to use this situation to your advantage and show your best side to his friends. You can be sure that they will tell him what they think after you leave.
Maybe he wants them to help him decide. Anyhow, you can be sure that their opinion will matter a whole lot, so make sure you impress them.
10) He stopped mentioning his girlfriend
The reason why this may happen is that he may be in the process of deciding what to do. He might even told her already that he wants to break up.
Asking him about it can be a two-edged sword. It can backfire if he is still under the influence of the conversation with her.
It can come up later on in a negative way, so the best way may be to wait a little bit until everything cools down.
What can you do to speed up the process?
Let’s face it – being in limbo for too long can make you crazy. Not knowing where you stand is pretty hard to handle.
A period of up to six months of waiting is bearable, depending on your capacity to handle unclear situations. However, this doesn’t mean that you need to sit around and wait.
There are some things you can do to reduce this waiting period in your favor.
1) Don’t be aggressive
Guys don’t like pushy girls who are too open about their intentions. Don’t put all your cards on the table.
Make a plan and slowly do one thing after another. Be clear about your emotions and intentions, but do it with dignity.
No one likes desperate people who would do anything to get a little bit of love for themselves.
2) Make sure you look stunning
People are visual beings. We always look at attractive people.
If you want the guy you like to leave his girlfriend for you, you need to turn on the heat. Make sure your hairstyle is always in a great state, keep the makeup subtle and always wear the wardrobe that shows off your best features.
If you can afford it, you can do a slight makeover that will attract his attention even more. Make sure it is something you personally like and enjoy so your confidence will attract him even more to you.
However, do your best to nurture your unique style, don’t try to look like his girlfriend. The fact that he is into you is a sure sign that you are what he wants.
Simply make some small changes that will keep him interested and make him want you more.
3) Get to know his girlfriend’s flaws
We all have them – that is a fact. By knowing more about her will make it easier for you to avoid the same mistakes she made that drove him away from her.
This doesn’t mean talking badly about her in any way. Just use your ways to find out more about the things that made him cool off.
Maybe she is too possessive and he doesn’t like it, or she may not be interested in his hobbies. If he likes to spend lots of time outdoors, while she wants to stay at home, that may be a deal-breaker.
However, think about the way you portray yourself. If you say now that you enjoy all the things he does and you don’t like them really, he will quickly realize that you were not honest with him after a while.
Spare yourself the trouble by talking about the things you are truly passionate about.
4) Tease him
Eye contact is the best way to show your emotions and attract his attention. Master this skill because it will be useful in this tricky game.
You are probably eaten by guilt, but you must show him what you truly feel. If he is not sure about your feelings, he may not be ready to end things with his girlfriend because he will be too insecure about his future.
It is necessary to show him, but not be too direct so you frighten him.
5) Ignore his calls sometimes
If you are just waiting for his call all the time, he may think that you are too desperate and needy- not so attractive, right? Well, make yourself unavailable from time to time.
Don’t make him wait for days, but if he cannot reach you for an hour or two, that is completely fine. It will rattle him.
It will make him question your whereabouts and he will want to be more around you just to end the confusion. That feeling in his gut, the fear he feels will make him end things with his girlfriend and be with you.
All the guys like to solve mysteries. Make sure you give him one, so he truly gets the idea of how much he cares about you.
Don’t go overboard, because if you do this all the time, he will think of you as unreliable and that won’t help you in any way. The goal is to find a balance and hit that fine line.
6) Show him that you are a good friend
We all need friends. Every successful relationship is based on a friendship and then everything else comes after that.
If you can show him that he can rely on your friendship and support, then you will be on a good path to become a part of his life indefinitely. Offer your compassion while he is struggling to find a path in life and make sure you help him see all your qualities.
This will surely push things in the right direction and help him realize that you are the best choice for him. Of course, avoid being stuck in the friend zone as this would be a true disaster if you want him to be your boyfriend, not friends with benefits.
7) Play on the “Prince Charming” card
Create situations where you will need his help with something. This may sound too cheesy like from some romance movie, but this simply works.
Men like to be of help to the lady in need. It is a chance to bring him closer to you and make him realize that ending things with his girlfriend and committing to you is the best decision he can make.
Try to make it look realistic because you wouldn’t want him to realize what you are doing. Create a scenario that you can use to your advantage fully.
Make sure this only happens once, because if you repeat it often then the effect will cease.
8) Show appreciation
Some people are too independent and don’t want anyone’s help. This is perfectly fine when we are not looking for a relationship.
However, if you are involved with a guy who has a girlfriend, being too independent may mean just one thing –she doesn’t need me. Since that is not the conclusion you want him to make, show him that you are grateful for the help you get from him.
Showing appreciation is the easiest way to show your feelings to someone. If you care enough for the things he does for you, showing him that you appreciate him will surely attract him more to you.
It will mean that you want him in your life and that your heart is big enough for him to fit. If his girlfriend doesn’t appreciate the small things he does for her anymore, it will be like a light in the dark room.
9) Be respectful about his girlfriend
Even though they may be in a bad place now, they were probably in love in the beginning. If this is a long relationship, then they must have gone through thick and thin.
He may not be into her now, but the fact that he is not ready yet to let it all go means that she used to mean a lot to him. Give him time to clear his head about the things he wants in his life and be respectful.
If you talk badly about her, you may create a bad image about yourself in front of him which can make him question everything. Simply be cool about everything and give it time.
The situation will clear up, it just needs a little bit of time to pass until the dust settles.
10) Don’t become obsessed
Being in a situation to wait for the guy you are infatuated with decide to be only with you can drive you crazy.
This is why you need to do everything in your power to have a fulfilled life that you will be able to come back to in the moments when you are not together.
Not only it will be easier for you, but you will also show him that you are stable and worth the trouble. The easiest thing is to start screaming and make scenes.
However, be above this. Don’t let your current situation push you over the edge so you can completely forget about your wellbeing, peace, serenity, and dignity.
What will be, will be. Make sure you don’t let him become your obsession.
Nurture your life and make room for him, but also spend time with other people in your life so you can make the balance you need.
Face the reality
If you’ve done everything you can and nothing is still happening, you may need to face the truth – he may not be ready to leave her. The realization is painful and nothing can prepare you for it, but it is better to draw the line than to be stuck in this situation forever.
Here are some things you can do!
1) Talk to him about it
You’ve spent months together and there is no progress yet? Well, this is the time when you will need to have an open conversation with him concerning the situation you are in.
If he is truly a good person and he is just confused, he will tell you more about his doubts and fears. If you hear him say that he is simply not ready to leave her, then this is the moment you should simply let him be.
Maybe he’s had a change of heart? He may have realized that leaving her would be a mistake.
This is truly hard to comprehend, especially if you have developed a deep bond but it is necessary to just let it go at some point.
2) Cut all cords
If you hear him say that he doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend, you will need to cut the cords with him so you can protect yourself. This is painful, but prolonging the suffering can be even worse.
Simply clear the things between you two and then with yourself. It is not easy to face the reality that you have been spending time with someone who realized that there is someone more important.
He may have various reasons for his decision. No matter what it is, it is essential to stop giving him your time and attention because you can only make it worse.
3) Block him on social media
This is essential if you want to keep peace in your life. Blocking him will help you to leave him out of your sight, so you can dedicate your time to something else.
This way, you won’t be tempted to look at his photos with his girlfriend and imagine all kinds of scenarios of the things they do together. Simply let them be.
This is hard, I know, but it is the only way to truly cut all cords. This way, you won’t see him with her.
You will be able to think about other things and simply turn your attention to other people. Eventually, he won’t be so much in your head and you will be able to move on.
4) Give yourself time to heal
Don’t jump into another relationship before you fully heal from this relationship. It may be challenging for a while, but time will help for sure.
Try to avoid the places where you know he spends a lot of time with his friends, so you don’t get in the situation to meet him and talk to him. That will only put you in a tempting position to reconsider your decision.
Protect your feelings and do what you can to recover from this confusing period. This is the only way to get ready for someone who will appreciate you and spend his life with you.
5) Don’t be too harsh to yourself
Guilt for being involved in a relationship with someone who is already committed can be devastating. However, don’t let the guilt overwhelm you completely so you cannot think about anything else.
Keep in mind that no one is perfect and some things that happen are beyond our control. Make peace with the things that happened to you and try to be gentle with yourself.
By being harsh in your thoughts and judging yourself for this may push you into an even darker mood. Sometimes, we simply cannot do anything about the things that happen.
6) Move on
Time heals everything. Do what you can to enable the healing and try to look to the future.
There are more good things awaiting you, so give it time. At one point, you will notice that other people are attracting your attention.
Focus on your hobbies and work, so you can overcome the difficulties. There are plenty of guys who are not involved in a relationship that you can date.
You deserve to be with someone who will give you all his attention and commit to you fully. Change your perspective and you will be able to see it from a completely different angle.
Final thoughts
Try not to pressure yourself into anything. Confusing situations happen, especially when it comes to love.
It has mysterious ways to come into our hearts. Give yourself time to see if there is anything for you in that relationship or you should end it.
If you notice that the guy you are with wants to sit on two chairs, then this is the sign for you to leave and find your happiness in life. No one is worth your peace in any way.
Assess the situation and give your best to show that you care. If it is not reciprocated, then it is not worth the effort.
Turn to people who love you and you will keep your heart open towards true love when it comes!
