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21 surprising signs he thinks you’re not interested in him (even though you are!)

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Have you got the hots for a particular guy?

But you’re worried that he thinks you actually don’t like him?

It’s a tough situation to deal with. After all, you want him to know, but you can’t just come out and say it!

But don’t worry, we’re here to help you out.

In this article, we’ll go through 21 signs that this guy thinks you’re not interested in him, and we’ll also discuss what you can do about it.

Let’s go.

1. You don’t make eye contact with him

From the start, you want to send out the “I’m interested in you” vibe.

And since everyone is different when it comes to making eye contact, a lot of people have a tendency not to make eye contact with people they are interested in.

That said, when you don’t make eye contact with him at all, he’s going to be really confused about where your vibe lies.

Eye contact is one of the first signs a guy will look at to see if you like him.

Getting that eye contact is a good way of telling him you’re interested.

If you never look him in the eye, or you always look away when he looks at you, then he is going to think that you don’t like him.

So when you get an opportunity for eye contact with him, make sure you hold it.

Don’t look away until he looks away or a reasonable amount of time has passed.

Or, if you can, make some kind of eye contact with him throughout your entire interaction. This will help convey that you like him.

2. You give him one-word answers

If you’re responding to him with one-word answers, he will think that you have nothing to say and he’s not interesting enough to keep talking to.

So if you really like him, then try giving him a little bit more than a “yeah” or “cool” in response to his messages.

Make an effort because if you can’t tell him something interesting, then he will assume that you don’t like him enough to talk about it.

3. You talk about yourself non-stop

If you give a guy too much information about your life, he’s going to feel more and more like you don’t even care about him.

That’s because a conversation is a two-way street. If you don’t listen to what he has to say about his life, and instead, you only talk about your life, he is going to think that you’re not interested in him.

So if you want to keep a guy interested, you need to try and make a more balanced conversation.

In other words, try to give him an equal amount of information about yourself as you ask him about his life.

This will make it seem like you’re actually interested in him and not just looking to take up his time with your own stories.

4. You are always texting other guys

This one is super simple: Guys are insecure. They care about what other people think about them, so if you’re constantly texting another guy when you’re hanging out with him, then he’s going to think that he isn’t that interesting of a person.

So make sure that you put your phone away when he’s talking to you. Don’t message other guys.

And if you have to text other guys, make sure it’s a quickie and nothing more.

Don’t spend time on it in front of him, or else he will think you’re not interested in him.

5. You don’t treat him like a hero

For guys to genuinely love and commit to a woman, they need to feel like a hero to that woman. They need to feel like a provider and protector.

If you don’t look up to this guy and admire him, then he probably thinks that you don’t like him.

There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’. 

This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.

I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.

The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you trigger this instinct in him?

The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.

If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.

I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

Here’s a link to his unique video again.

6. You don’t acknowledge him in public

If you don’t even say “Hi” to him when he sees him in public, then he’s going to think that he can’t even get your attention.

If he knows you have seen him, then you need to give a little bit of acknowledgment. A wave. A head nod. Anything.

He’ll understand that you aren’t sure about your relationship status, but if you don’t even acknowledge him at all, then it feels like you don’t care about him at all!

7. You only talk to him when you’re drunk

If you only talk to him when you’re drunk, then he will think that you don’t really care about how he feels.

All you care about it is having some fun, but when it comes down to it, you’re not really interested in him.

So if you really like him and want to keep the interest going, make sure that you only talk to him in this way if it’s a natural occurrence.

Don’t ever talk to him when you’re drunk just because you want some attention and you’re looking for fun.

Respect and treat him like you’re interested him by contacting him when you’re sober.

8. You try to play hard to get

Exactly what this means is “being too hard to get.”

Perhaps you’re being so “aloof” and “cool” that he thinks you don’t like him.

To him, it feels like you don’t ever want to talk to him, so what is the point when you’re not interested?

Obviously, you have to calibrate your level of aloofness with his level of interest.

If he’s not asking you out or showing signs that he’s interested in you, then obviously don’t play hard to get!

When your vibe is stronger than his, play hard to get and be slightly aloof.

But if he doesn’t think you’re interested at all, this is not the time to play hard to get.

9. You keep looking at other guys when you’re out with him

If you keep looking at other guys when you’re out with a guy, then he will think that you are being coy and not really interested in him.

So make sure that if you do want to be coy, it’s done appropriately.

Don’t stare at other guys the whole time, but instead, show interest in this guy that you like!

When you look at other guys, it shows that you’re not really respecting him.

It looks like you’d rather be out with those other guys instead of him!

10. You keep flirting with other guys when you’re out with him

If you keep flirting with other guys when you’re out with a guy, then he will think that you are being coy and not really interested in him.

Don’t flirt with other guys. If it’s necessary that you do, make sure that it’s only a little bit and nothing too serious.

Guys don’t like it when the girl they like flirts with other guys. It makes them feel like she doesn’t really like them.

And if you’re doing it just to play hard to get, they will think that you’re not that into him after all.

11. You don’t initiate the conversation

If you never initiate a conversation, then he will think that you don’t want to talk to him.

He’ll think that he’s not interesting enough for you.

So try and initiate some conversations. Ask him about sports or music and ask him how his day has been going.

Don’t make it too serious, but don’t be afraid to ask him some basic questions.

Questions show that you’re actually interested in him and what he has to say.

12. You just talk about mundane things

If the conversation is always the same boring thing, then he’s going to start thinking you’re boring and not interesting enough for him to talk to.

So if you want him to keep talking to you, try and spice it up a little bit with some new topics every once in a while.

Figure out what he enjoys talking about and ask him about it!

Get him passionate. Not only will he enjoy talking to you, but the rapport between the two of you will also grow!

13. What would an expert say?

While the signs in this article will help you understand if this guy knows he likes you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like what to do when a guy has no idea you like him, and how to move a relationship forward. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems. 

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.  

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

14. You talk about your ex

I know that this can be a little bit tricky. You dated your ex for a long time, but then you suddenly broke up with him, and you’re now talking to this new guy.

Of course, your ex was a big part of your life so you want to talk about him!

The problem?

When you talk about your ex, then he’s going to think that you still like your ex automatically, and he will become insecure.

So make sure that you keep his mind off of your ex (for the most part) otherwise he’ll think that all you have on your mind is this ex of yours.

No guy wants to feel insecure, so make sure that you keep his focus off of your ex (and you should try and do the same if you like this guy!)

15. You don’t follow up on texts

If you don’t follow up on his texts, he’ll think he’s been ignored.

If you want to keep the conversation going, then make sure that you reply to all his texts within a short period of time.

This is important, so make sure that you don’t forget to follow up on your texts otherwise, he will stop opening up to you, and he’ll think that you’re not interested in what he has to say.

16. You are always late

This is a little bit personal, but I want to include it because it’s something that I see in a lot of relationships.

When you’re late for a meeting, or a date, it shows that you don’t respect their time! And if you don’t respect them, it will look like you don’t like them!

If you show up late, then you’re obviously not interested in spending time with him and he’s going to think that you don’t care about him.

So make sure that if you go out for a date, you’re on time.

Or at least call him to tell him why you’re running late!

This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct

When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to commit to you and actually believe that you’re into him!

But if you don’t respect his time, then he will feel that you don’t respect him. 

If you really want to get this guy to know that you genuinely like him, then you need to trigger his hero instinct.

And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.

All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.

Here’s a link to the free video again

17. You don’t laugh at his jokes

If he’s really trying to make you laugh, then you should try and chuckle at his jokes. You don’t have to laugh out loud, but at least show that you’re trying to laugh even if it’s not funny.

It’s important that you do little things like this because it shows that you’re into him.

One of the best signals that a girl likes a guy is when she can’t stop smiling during the conversation.

Trust me, guys look for it all the time! Guys love being funny, and they especially love making the girl they like laugh.

If you can’t stop smiling for the whole conversation, he will think you’re into him and want to talk to him more.

18. You keep looking at your phone

While a guy is talking, if you look at your phone every 5-10 minutes, then he’s going to think that you’re not into what he has to say.

And if you’re doing this, then he’s not going to want to continue talking to you. All he’ll be thinking is that you don’t like or care about what he has to say.

If you want him to keep talking to you, then make sure you look at him at least 80% of the time.

19. You never compliment him

If you never compliment him, he will feel insecure and think he isn’t good enough for you.

Guys are insecure and if he thinks you’re not impressed by them, then he will lose interest in you!

He will feel like he is not good enough for you and he doesn’t have enough value to be able to date you.

So make sure that if the time is right, then give him a compliment every now and then!

20. You’re a know-it-all

Guys like confident girls, but if you have too many opinions about everything, then he’s going to think that you’re bossy and not easy to deal with.

Guys like to feel like men! They want their own opinion to be respected. But if you’re a know-it-all and never ask for his opinion, he will think you’re not into him.

Worse than that, he might think that you don’t value his thoughts.

It might seem like a little bit of a contradiction, but it is true, and there are a lot of things that we can learn from it.

So make sure that you don’t always have all the answers! If he asks you for your opinion about something, then give him an answer.

21. You never touch him

If you never ever touch him, then he’ll think that you don’t really like him.

But if he likes you, he will want to get closer to you and try talking to you more.

So make sure that if the opportunity presents itself for you to get close to a guy, then go for it! Don’t be afraid of a little bit of physical contact!

Even if small, it will build rapport and connection between the two of you!

By now you should have a good idea of if this guy thinks you don’t like him. 

So what can you do to resolve this? 

Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships. 

You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you. 

And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.

So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice. 

Click here to watch his excellent free video

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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