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15 undeniable signs he loves you but is afraid of getting hurt (complete list)

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Do you feel unsure about his intentions?

Sometimes a man you’re dating loves you but is afraid of getting hurt. And this might make you feel like he’s probably not ready to open up his heart to you.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean that you can never have a relationship with him.

And for this, you need to know these 15 undeniable signs he loves you but is afraid of getting hurt.

1) He only has eyes for you, even when other people are around

Ever noticed his stare when he sees you? Ever wondered why he seems to be getting lost in your eyes?

Well, the truth is that men who are in love with you but are afraid of getting hurt will only have eyes for you, no matter what.

Because when you look at him, he feels like he’s the only person in the world.

If you’ve noticed that your crush only has eyes for you, no matter who you’re with or what you’re doing, it’s another sign that he loves you.

A guy can only have eyes for you if he’s in love with you.

He might not even realize that he’s being obvious.

Nevertheless, when you notice that he only has eyes for you, it’s because he’s completely and utterly smitten with you.

He might look at you adoringly or he might get lost in your beauty, but he only has eyes for you.

A guy might try to impress you by paying attention to other people – just to show you that he’s a good person.

However, when he’s in love with you, he only has eyes for you. His attention is focused on you and only you – even when you’re with your friends.

And this is because he’s afraid of losing you and not being able to see you again. But if you’re thinking that this is just a sign of how much he loves and cares about you, then think again!

This is actually a sign that he’s afraid of getting hurt. And it’s because if something happens between the two of you, he won’t be able to handle it.

Let me explain why.

He might be scared of getting hurt because he is only focusing on you. But this can also mean that he really loves you.

So, if you notice that he only has an eye on you, it’s indeed an undeniable sign that he loves you but is afraid of getting hurt.

2) He is desperate to be with you, even when he’s not with you

It’s one thing for him to want to get close to you and be intimate with you. It’s another thing for him to want to be around you all the time.

Does this sound familiar?

Well, when a guy is desperate to be with you, he is most certainly in love with you. He’s not just in love with you, but he’s also afraid of losing you.

And it’s because he wants to be around you all the time, that he doesn’t want to lose you.

What does this mean?

It means that if something happens between the two of you, he might not be able to handle it.

You see, when a guy is desperate to be with someone, especially when they’re not around, it means that they’re afraid of losing them and not being able to see them again.

And this can also mean that they are totally and utterly in love with them.

This is why many guys are ‘stealing’ other girls’ boyfriends – because they are desperate to get close to them and be around them all the time. They’re afraid of losing their partners and getting hurt themselves.

But you know what?

He might not have been showing it.

But the truth is that he wants nothing more than to be by your side, holding your hand every day of his life.

And this is because he’s afraid of not having the chance again – which is something that can happen when something happens between the two of them (like cheating).

The result?

He perceives you every other date as his last chance to prove his love. And that’s why he feels so vulnerable.

3) A relationship coach can give you real clarity

While the signs in this article will help you understand whether he really loves you but is afraid of getting hurt, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

That’s what I recently did.

When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific, and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with doubts in your relationship too.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.

4) He gets jealous easily, even if it’s not justified​

This one is indeed now one of the most obvious signs that he adores you but he’s afraid of losing you.

Let’s get right to the point.

If your man gets jealous easily, it could be because he loves you a lot. He might get jealous even when it’s not justified but still wants to protect his feelings for you.

A guy who is truly in love with you will never get jealous if you go out with other guys. It’s just not an issue for him.

However, a guy who is only feeling his way through the relationship will get jealous for no reason at all. And he will go to any lengths to prove his jealousy.

Believe it or not, this often manifests itself in unreasonable jealousy in public or other situations where it’s not warranted or even possible (like when you’re both on vacation together).

The thing that makes this so hard to deal with is when those around us think that we are indeed the ones who are being unreasonable, and they don’t even bother to question it.

So, do you notice that he gets jealous easily, even when he doesn’t have anything to be jealous of?

Then, he’s probably afraid of losing you.

I’ve noticed that a lot of guys are very insecure about their relationships with women. They can’t stand the thought of losing their partners.

And this is why they get very jealous when their partners are with other men.  And this is a sign of insecurity, not jealousy.  It means that he cares a lot about you, but is afraid to lose you.

I know it’s hard to accept this, but it’s true.

What do I suggest?

You need to understand that these scenarios are completely unnecessary and irrational, so try your best not to take them seriously – especially if your partner doesn’t have any reason at all to get jealous of you!

5) His actions are different when he’s around you

If you’ve noticed that the guy you like treats you differently when you’re together and when you’re not, it’s one of the signs he loves you.

Why?

Because his actions are indicative of respect, admiration, and adoration – feelings that guys don’t show to just anyone.

What’s more, if you’ve seen changes in his behavior and noticed that he behaves more respectfully around you, that’s another sign he’s in love with you.

I get it that you might think if a guy likes you, he’ll be more relaxed and not feel the need to impress you all the time. He’ll be more laid-back and less stressed because he’ll feel comfortable around you.

If he treats you with respect and shows you the attention and affection that he’d show his best friends, he’s definitely in love with you.

But guess what?

Being sure that he’s in love with you doesn’t mean that everything is okay in your relationship. In fact, he might be afraid of losing you.

And this feeling makes his actions different around you.

So, here’s what you should know:

When two people are in love, their actions are not the same when they’re apart.

But that doesn’t mean their feelings for each other don’t exist. What it means is that their love for each other is so strong that even without being together, they still want to spend time with each other.

Still, if you notice he acts differently around you, it’s a clear sign that he doubts he will lose you.

Whether it’s a simple act of anxiety or he seems nervous, that’s what it means.

6) He tries to ignore you

Okay, when you realize that your boyfriend is trying to ignore you, the first thing you think about is that he doesn’t love you.

But you know what?

The truth is that he’s trying to hide his feelings for you.

Sounds familiar, right?

Maybe he’s trying to hide his feelings because he knows you don’t like him or think he’s not good enough for you.

Or maybe he’s trying to hide his feelings because he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship.

And here’s the thing: He doesn’t want to lose you as a friend, but it’s also obvious that he wants to be with you.

He just doesn’t want to make a move, which is why he tries so hard to ignore you.

Let’s see how this works.

If the guy you like tries to avoid spending time with you and consistently forgets about plans you two made together, it’s a big red flag.

This is a sign that he’s trying to ignore you but can’t.

The only reason a guy would be trying to ignore you is if he’s trying to protect himself from getting hurt. If someone you like is trying to avoid you, it may be because he doesn’t want to fall in love with you.

So, if your boyfriend is trying to ignore you, that’s a sign he doesn’t want you to know how much he cares about you.

It means that he thinks if you knew how much he cares about you, it would be too much and he would be too attached to you.

I mean, isn’t this how we all act at the beginning of love?

We try not to seem too interested in the person we love? We don’t want them to know how much they mean to us because we think it will make us too close and we might get hurt by them.

So, let me tell you something:  not knowing what your boyfriend thinks about you is one of the most painful situations for a guy who loves someone.

He wants everything in his life to depend on his relationship with his girlfriend, and if she doesn’t notice him – no matter what – it means she doesn’t care about him at all.

7) Understand yourself and your intentions

Have you ever tried to start with yourself instead of assessing his actions and intentions?

I mean, have you ever tried to communicate with yourself instead of him?

Now that you understand, you’re dealing with a partner who certainly loves you but is afraid of losing you. But have you considered getting to the root of the issue?

You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our own complicated inner relationship with ourselves – how can you fix the external without seeing the internal first?

I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.

So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve your boyfriend’s doubts about you, start with yourself.

Check out the free video here.

You’ll find practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video, solutions that’ll stay with you for life.

8) He doesn’t want to commit yet

Let me ask you a question.

How long have you and your boyfriend been seeing each other?

If you’ve been dating for a while and the guy you like still hasn’t committed, he might be afraid of getting hurt.

Now you probably wonder why this happens.

Well, when a guy likes you, he wants to commit to you completely – but only when he’s sure that you’re the one for him.

But you know what?

If the guy you like is hesitant about committing to you, it means that he’s not sure if you’re the one for him.

He doesn’t want to rush into a relationship only to end up getting his heart broken.

And when a guy is not ready to commit, he’s simply not ready to trust you enough. He might be afraid of getting hurt. However, this doesn’t mean that he’s not interested in you.

Sometimes, it just takes a little more time and effort to get there.

But what can you do to understand why he doesn’t want to commit?

For this, you should try to figure out the exact reasons behind his hesitancy.

Why is he hesitant to commit to you? Is it because he’s afraid of being hurt? Is it because he doesn’t trust you?

If your boyfriend is afraid of getting hurt, this means that he’s not ready to commit to you yet.

moment

But if he doesn’t trust you enough yet, then this means that he’s waiting for the right moment. He might be waiting for the time when things will be easier between the two of you.

And if this is true, then there’s nothing wrong with him – after all, when a guy loves a woman, he wants her to have her own space, time, and privacy.

He wants her to be happy and fulfilled in life without worrying about him or what she should do next.

9) You’re not the only one he’s interested in

Can I be totally honest with you?

If you’re the only girl around your boyfriend, chances are that he’s not interested in anyone else.

If he’s not interested in other girls, then there’s a good chance that he’s in love with you. This, in turn, means that he’s trying to commit that there’s one thing he’s not willing to compromise on.

He’s not willing to compromise and get hurt.

But if he sees that there’s a potential for getting hurt, then he’s not ready to commit to you yet.

You see, when a guy is not willing to commit to someone, he doesn’t want the relationship to be in jeopardy.

And if he’s not willing to get hurt by getting into a relationship with you, then it means that he’s not ready for a serious commitment yet.

So if you’re the only girl around your boyfriend, you should know that he indeed loves you, but something about you makes him stay back.

but now you might wonder: how do you know if your boyfriend is interested in another girl?

Well, when a guy likes you, he starts talking about his feelings for you – and talks about them openly and honestly to other people too.

He tells his friends about how much he likes you and how much he wants to be with you. And this means that there’s nothing left to hide from him – nothing at all.

When a guy starts avoiding the subject of his feelings for other girls, it means that there’s something wrong with him.

And this means that there’s nothing left for him but to get rid of these feelings before they ruin his life completely – because if he can’t control them, then obviously they’ll lead him down the path of destruction.

10) He handles your romantic gestures with care

Have you ever noticed how a guy handles the romantic gestures you make for him?

And most importantly, he doesn’t immediately discard them.

When a guy loves you, he’ll be jumpy when you try to make him feel special. He might be afraid of taking your gifts and rejecting your romantic gestures because he’s not sure how to deal with them.

So you know what you should do?

When you give him a gift or a romantic gesture, don’t try to force him to accept it. However, if he doesn’t reject it immediately and treats it with care, it’s a good sign.

The reason is that some guys might feel awkward accepting a gift, but they know they can’t reject it without hurting your feelings.

This is because he likes you but is afraid of getting close to you. When he takes your romantic gestures and gifts slowly, he’s not sure if he’s ready for a relationship.

If a girl gives her boyfriend a gift, she expects him to be all happy and excited. But when a guy gets a gift, he doesn’t show any excitement or happiness at all.

In fact, he might even get angry or annoyed if he knows that the girl has spent money on him.

The truth is that a guy doesn’t like to be given gifts by other girls – especially not when they’re expensive gifts. And this is because he might think that these girls are only trying to use him for his money and nothing else.

So if your boyfriend is showing no sort of appreciation for your romantic gestures, it means that there’s something wrong with him – most likely he simply does not want anything from you at all.

And this means that there’s nothing left for him but to get rid of these feelings before they ruin his life completely – because if he can’t control them, then obviously they’ll lead him down the path of destruction.

And that might be why he feels vulnerable around you and is afraid of getting hurt,n when he truly loves you.

hurt

11) He doesn’t want to share his feelings with others​

This might sound a bit odd but it’s true.

Your boyfriend might be afraid if he shares his feelings with you.

Believe it or not, this is a good reason why guys don’t tell you about their feelings. They know that your feelings for them are genuine and real so they don’t want to risk them by telling you too much about themselves.

They never want to risk losing you because it’s too hard for them to let go of something they really love – even if they feel like they’re having a hard time expressing their love towards you.

But here’s another reason why he acts like this:

He might not want other people to know how much he loves and cares about you, which only makes him love you more.

It’s a sign that he really cares about what happens between the two of you.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, this could also mean that he’s afraid of losing you if others found out about his true feelings for you.

And this could make him feel insecure and worried about the future of the relationship too.

For example: a guy who isn’t comfortable letting people know how much he likes someone would probably avoid letting people know how much they mean to them too, like when they’re out at social events or hanging out with friends and family members.

And this can make them feel insecure and worried about the future of their relationship too.

12) He constantly asks for your opinion and advice

Does your boyfriend constantly try to get your opinion and advice?

Does he always try to get you to agree with him when it comes to important decisions in his life?

If so, then this might be a sign of insecurity.

You see, it’s not that he doesn’t trust you or doesn’t like how smart you are – it’s simply because he doesn’t want to take any chances.

He doesn’t want his feelings for you to fade away – which is why he needs your support and approval.

And if he’s constantly asking for your opinion and advice, then this means that he really cares about how you feel about him.

It also shows that he wants to know what makes you happy and how you think things should go in the future too.

But more often, he will ask for your opinion because he feels insecure about your relationship. And he needs to ensure that you truly are happy and that you still love him more than anything else in the world.

Why?

Because he’s afraid of losing you. And he wants to make sure that you aren’t going to leave him for someone else.

13) He doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends and family

Does your boyfriend seem to be avoiding introducing you to his friends and family?

Is he always trying to keep his true feelings for you a secret?

If so, then this could be a sign that he doesn’t want other people to find out about the relationship.

And this can make him feel insecure and worried about the future of the relationship too.

For example: it’s not because he doesn’t trust you or doesn’t like how smart you are – it’s simply because he doesn’t want other people to find out about his true feelings for you.

And if he’s constantly asking for your opinion and advice, then this means that he really cares about how you feel about him.

It also shows that he wants to know what makes you happy and how you think things should go in the future too.

But guess what?

From his actions, you feel that he indeed adores and takes care of you.

If that’s the case, it’s a clear indicator that he loves you but is afraid of losing you.

That’s why he doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends and family.

14) He constantly checks in with you

Want to know another undeniable sign that he loves you?

He checks in with you – all the time.

He constantly checks in with you and wants to know where you are and who you’re with.

And if he’s constantly asking for your opinion and advice, then this means that he really cares about how you feel about him.

It also shows that he wants to know what makes you happy and how you think things should go in the future too.

If that’s the case, it’s a clear indicator that he loves you but is afraid of losing you.

Why?

This is because checking up on his significant other all the time means that he doesn’t want to let her out of his sight and that he cares about her more than anyone else in the world – which could make him feel insecure and worried about the future of the relationship too.

So if this is the case, then just tell him how much you appreciate him for caring so much about your wellbeing…

And let him know how much it means to have someone who cares so much for them.

If this is your situation, then just ask him why he checks up on me so often?

You may be surprised at his answer! But most likely, he will say something like:

  • ‘Because I love you’
  • ‘Because I care’
  • ‘Because I’m afraid of losing someone I care about’

An if this is true, then just tell him that you love him too and that you appreciate his concern for your happiness.

And let him know how much it means to have someone who cares so much for them. And don’t forget to make him understand that you’re not going to hurt him!

15) He doesn’t say “I Love You”​

How often does your boyfriend say “I love you” to you?

Even if he doesn’t say “I Love You” to you in your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you.

It’s just that he may not feel comfortable telling you that he loves you because he doesn’t want to make you feel insecure or worried about the future of the relationship.

Why?

Because he’s afraid that you’re going to hurt him.

And this is because it’s just too much pressure for them to show you what they feel for you when they’re not sure how strong those feelings actually are.

But when a guy loves someone, he has to show his emotions clearly so that the other person knows how he feels about her – otherwise, she might think he only likes her as a friend or something else – which would be very hurtful to him.

And if this is the case, then just let him know how much you appreciate him for caring so much about your wellbeing and for not making you feel insecure.

Just tell him how much it means to have someone who cares so much for them. And don’t forget to make him understand that you’re not going to hurt him!

Final thoughts

All in all, these are 15 of the most obvious signs that your guy adores you and is completely in love with you. But he’s afraid of losing you.

He has moments where he doubts his own self-worth and feels unaccepted by you. He’s not sure if you’re still interested in him or if you’re just going through the motions of being with him.

So if you notice these undeniable signs and want to save your relationship, try to let your boyfriend understand that you’ll never hurt him! Show him that he doesn’t have to be afraid of being rejected by you.

Written by Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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