When you find love, you want to hold on to it.
At least most of us do.
But there are those for whom a relationship is not that important, those who don’t really care if they lose someone.
The reasons vary: they may have other priorities, be faking feelings for you or be emotionally unavailable.
But regardless of why, the hurt caused by this indifference is very real.
Here are the warning signs…
13 signs he is not afraid of losing you
1) He takes out his frustrations on you
Nobody who wants to keep you will treat you as an emotional punching bag.
If he acts like you have the obligation to hear out and sympathize with his every frustration then you’re not his priority.
Sharing concerns and problems is part of a relationship.
But dumping them on another partner and using them as a therapist is what somebody does who doesn’t really care about you.
When this kind of behavior happens you can be sure it’s one of the worst signs he is not afraid of losing you.
We often treat those closest to us poorly and take them for granted. But that doesn’t make it OK.
It’s sad, but it’s true.
2) He doesn’t care about spending time with you
If he doesn’t care about spending time with you then it’s one of the top signs he is not afraid of losing you.
The biggest proof of this is just to put the shoe on the other foot.
How would you act around someone you didn’t want to lose?
You’d spend time with them and give a damn about them, at the very least, no?
Men aren’t naive. They have priorities and make decisions based on those priorities.
If you’re not important for him to spend time with, then he’s already thought about the possibility of losing you and shrugged.
As Lauren Dover notes, a man who is scared to lose you will:
“Always keep showing you that you’re his priority – the woman who means the world to him.
“Even when he’s had a rough day, he’ll still choose to spend every second of his free time with you as you’re the one he wants around, no matter what.”
A man who isn’t afraid of losing you will do the exact opposite.
3) He doesn’t try to find ways to get out of a rut
Do you notice that your relationships is in a rut but he doesn’t try to do anything about it?
Then it means that he’s not afraid of losing you.
Still, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything about it.
Let me tell you how:
I’ve been there, and I know how it feels.
When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.
I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.
But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.
Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me and helped me understand whether my boyfriend actually cared about me.
Relationship Hero is an industry leader in relationship advice for a reason.
They provide solutions, not just talk.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) Your needs really don’t matter to him
One of the clearest signs he is not afraid of losing you is that your needs really don’t matter to him.
This can include something as small as ignoring your need for him to keep in touch with you up to overlooking health concerns or life problems you are having that require his help.
He just doesn’t seem to care much.
When you love someone it’s easy to make excuses for them and brush this off, telling yourself they must have other issues taking up their time and energy.
Let’s be fair: maybe he does.
But if he cared about you enough and wanted to keep you, then he wouldn’t treat you like a prop who he pulls out when he feels like it.
He’d stand by you and be there for you.
This is actually a good opportunity to check how he really feels about you.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including exactly how to trigger it in your man.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
5) He doesn’t care about meeting your friends or family
A man who’s invested and in love will take pleasure in meeting your friends and family.
He’ll go out of his way to make a good impression and get to know those who matter to you.
He wants to keep you and grow in his relationship, so he relishes the chance to make further ties.
A man who doesn’t care about losing you will shirk away from meeting friends and family.
It’s not only that he won’t care, he’ll actively avoid meeting anyone related to you if he can.
He basically doesn’t want to be serious with you and doesn’t care how you react to it. He wants all the benefits and none of the work.
Everyone’s relationship moves at their own pace.
But if this is happening to you then it should be a red flag for you about how serious he is in the relationship.
6) He never compromises with you or lets you get your way
Another one of the biggest signs he is not afraid of losing you is that he never compromises with you or lets you get your way.
It’s not just about being dominant or strong here.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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But when a guy blames you for everything and pushes you to your limit, it’s not apha behavior – it’s asshole behavior.
It’s the behavior of a guy who doesn’t care about losing you.
And let’s be honest: any woman who respects herself is going to get lost fast when a guy acts like this.
We all fall short in relationships at various points, but failure to admit it or be honest about it is the trait of a loser.
Making the other person into the fall guy or girl at all times is the act of an emotional manipulator.
The truth is that if a guy is really into you he will go out on a limb for you and give you a bit more credit.
Writing from the guy’s perspective, Bryan Zarpentine notes that:
“When a guy thinks he might lose you, he’ll be more willing to let you have your way.
“He’ll want to make you happy at all costs and he also won’t want to fight with you for fear of that being the final straw in the relationship.
“That means he’ll cave in easily at the first sign of you getting upset.”
7) He makes you feel unwanted and insecure
One of the worst signs he is not afraid of losing you is that he consistently makes you feel unwanted and insecure.
Through his words and actions, he will sideline you and make you feel like you are unimportant, needy, and low-value.
This behavior on his part only has value if you let it have power.
When it comes to relationships, you might be surprised to hear that there’s one very important connection you’ve probably been overlooking:
The relationship you have with yourself.
I learned about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his incredible, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to plant yourself at the center of your world.
And once you start doing that, there’s no telling how much happiness and fulfillment you can find within yourself and with your relationships.
So what makes Rudá’s advice so life-changing?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his own modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but he’s experienced the same problems in love as you and I have.
And using this combination, he’s identified the areas where most of us go wrong in our relationships.
So if you’re tired of your relationships never working out, of feeling undervalued, unappreciated, or unloved, this free video will give you some amazing techniques to change your love life around.
Make the change today and cultivate the love and respect you know you deserve.
8) He acts out recklessly with his friends and coworkers
Another one of the related signs he is not afraid of losing you is that he acts recklessly with his friends.
What am I talking about here?
It really depends on the guy and what he’s into. Common examples include:
- Acting drunkenly and disrespectfully out with his friends late at night
- Playing multiplayer video games online and glaring or shouting at you when you try to get a word in edgewise
- Staying late at work functions and parties and talking down to you
- Befriending beautiful women openly and telling you you’re paranoid or creepy for asking about it…
These are just a few examples.
The basic point remains the same: a guy who isn’t afraid to lose you will show it through his actions.
And when his actions include disrespectful and reckless behavior, you can be sure he hasn’t got you as a priority in his mind (or heart).
9) He’ll argue with you at the smallest disagreement
One of the most disappointing signs he is not afraid of losing you is that he will start up nasty arguments with you at the smallest disagreement.
Whether it’s what you’re having at dinner or your beliefs about life, he’ll find some way to villainize you and make you out to be the bad guy.
He’ll make it obvious that he regards you as more or less a burden who makes his life more difficult and avoid you when he can.
He won’t put any work into communicating, nor will he open up about what he’s feeling.
As Ariel Quinn writes, a guy who’s scared of losing you behaves much differently.
“He’ll work hard on you two having good communication.
“Even when you have different opinions on a matter, he’ll try to calmly talk about it instead of arguing.”
10) He flirts with other girls in front of you
One of the most disappointing signs he is not afraid of losing you is that he may flirt with other girls in front of you.
Unless you want an open relationship (with the “open” part all on his end) then you are likely going to be angry and saddened by this.
He’s smart enough to understand this, but he just doesn’t care.
If he cared he wouldn’t disrespect you to such a shocking extent.
If this is happening then it’s up to you to respect and value yourself enough to walk away.
This guy isn’t on your side and he’d rather think with what’s under his pants than honor anything about the feelings he has for you.
11) He avoids talking about the future or getting serious
The future is an exciting and promising topic for a man in love.
But for a man who doesn’t care about losing you, the future is irrelevant.
Like Roland Campuso explains here, a guy who really cares about you will be open to discussing your future together.
On the other hand, one of the worst signs he is not afraid of losing you is that the future and you don’t really matter to him.
He may literally shrug when you mention it or just say he’s too busy to talk about it…
12) He treats you like you’re only a piece of a**
This is disappointing, but it’s very common.
One of the top signs he is not afraid of losing you is that he treats you like you’re only a piece of a**.
It’s easy, again, to make excuses for this.
It’s his choice and it’s his disrespect. You deserve more and you can easily find more.
When a guy truly values you and wants to keep you, he will value the whole of who you are, not just what’s between your legs or under your bra.
I know this is obvious, but it’s so easy to be blind when we care about someone.
That’s perfectly understandable, but you really deserve someone who cares about you, too.
13) He thinks he has power over you
What happens when one person in a relationship has nothing to lose?
Quite honestly: what happens is a massive power imbalance.
Because if you have feelings for someone and they don’t much care about losing you, they have literally all the power.
This isn’t good.
And when it eventually ends in tears, you need to realize one crystal clear thing from a giant bullhorn that drowns out all your other thoughts and doubts.
You need to understand:
You deserve better. You will find better. You are better than wrecking your life over a dead fish who treated you with disregard.
“Be with someone who deserves all of you.
“Be with someone who would never risk losing you. Be with someone who executes his love – with actions, effort, patience – someone who appreciates you in a million little different ways.
“Someone who you frustrate the hell out of and then they stop to gaze at you because they think, this is the problem I want to have.”
We’ve covered the signs he is not afraid of losing you but if you want to get a completely personalized explanation of this situation and where it’ll lead you in the future, I recommend getting professional help from the Relationship Hero.
I mentioned them earlier on; I was blown away by how professional yet reassuring they were.
Not only can they give you more direction on his feelings for you, but they can advise you on what’s in store for your future.
Whether you prefer to have your reading over a call or chat, these advisors are the real deal.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder