10 subtle signs of emotional cheating that are easy to miss

There continues to be a wide open debate about what constitutes cheating in a relationship. Especially since the internet, texting, sexting, and 24-hour a day access to people has become a thing.

What we might have considered unfaithful years ago seems to have evolved into some form of accepted behavior in relationships, like it’s okay to stare at your phone throughout the entire anniversary dinner. What’s on the phone that is so important?

If you think your partner is cheating, you might be right. But not in the way you think: emotional cheating is just as real as physical cheating when it comes to betraying those you love.

Here are 10 signs that your partner is emotionally cheating on you.

1) He hides his phone.

A good sign that someone is emotionally cheating on you is if they are hiding their phone from you. It is also a very good sign that they are physically cheating on you as well because they don’t want you to see the line-up of messages and emails from her.

The hard part about emotional cheating is that people see nothing wrong with just talking to someone else… for hours… on their phone.

2) He loses track of time talking to another woman.

When he’s with her, he lands at home late, misses dinner, and makes excuses about why he needs to see her. Sure, they aren’t rolling around in bed, but they might as well be.

It’s hard for men to understand why this is wrong – and it’s hard for women to pin down their man and say stop. They worry about being rejected. It’s a double-edged sword.

3) He goes out of his way to see someone.

If the guys are getting together at the bar across town, he’ll make his way there because “that’s where everyone is going.” You might worry that he is going to see her, and that’s probably true.

A good sign that someone is emotionally invested in another person and cheating on you is when they go out of their way to see someone else.

4) He never invites you to come along.

When he does leave to go to the bar across town, he never invites you to come. This gets complicated because isn’t he just going to see his friends. Who cares if one of them happens to be a hot girl?

Well, it turns out that you might, and it might be really troublesome to realize he’s walking out on you to spend time with another woman. That certainly constitutes emotional cheating.

5) He talks about her in comparison to you.

He often brings up all the great things “she” is doing and talks about her like you know her. If you find yourself frustrated by this, it’s important to speak up because it is emotional cheating. If he is more invested in her life than yours, you’ve got a problem.

6) He shares things with her that he doesn’t share with you.

If you ever him he say, “I can’t wait to tell her this!” you might want to put your foot down. While it’s never a good feeling to confront someone who is emotionally cheating on you, it’s easier to do it now before anything happens.

Talk about your concerns and make sure the conversation doesn’t turn into a “trust” issue. Of course you can’t trust him – he won’t stop talking about her!

7) He’s started talking about when he was single.

He’ll make mention of times when he was out with friends, or “in the old days” or talk about times before you met him, when he was young and free.

Those are all real red flags and you’ll want to pay attention to what he’s doing when he’s not with you to make sure his intentions are true.

8) He cleans up before going out to see her.

When you’ve been with someone a while it becomes easier to sit around in old pants and a shirt. You get used to each other.

But if you find he is suddenly grooming himself on the way out the door, you’ll need to ask yourself who is so special that he needs to do that? And why doesn’t he get cleaned up for you anymore?

9) He sits near her in public.

Even if you are there with him, he’ll find a place near her and laugh and joke and you’ll be left sitting on the barstool looking like a fool.

Other people can see it so don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s a dirty little secret you three are hiding. Everyone can see it.

10) He jokes about it.

If he talks about running away with her or making light of the situation to try to distract your concerns, pay attention to that. He’s obviously thought about it. What else has he thought about?

The trouble with emotional cheating is that it seems harmless, but when hearts are on the line, someone is bound to get hurt.


I’m 36, still single, and finally figured out why

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