7 signs an emotionally unavailable person has deep feelings for you, according to psychology

I’ll confess something: I’ve spent a lot of time in the company of emotionally unavailable people.

Not by choice, mind you, but because life has a funny way of throwing these enigmatic characters our way.

Now, if you’ve ever found yourself drawn to someone who seems emotionally out of reach, you’ll know how perplexing it can be.

You’re left questioning, scratching your head, and frustrated by their hot-and-cold behavior.

Could they possibly have deep feelings for you?

Well, according to psychology, there are subtle signs that an emotionally unavailable person might be harboring deep feelings for you. And we’re about to dive into these 7 telltale signs.

1) Unpredictable bursts of affection

Emotionally unavailable people often have a tough time showing their feelings. But when feelings run deep—especially for someone else—those emotions have to go somewhere, right?

So, what do they do?

It’s simple: they show it in unpredictable bursts of affection.

This means that one day, they might be distant or aloof. The next, they’re showering you with attention or compliments.

It’s confusing, I know.

But remember, for them, expressing emotions can feel like walking on a tightrope.

These inconsistent displays of affection could be a sign that they’re struggling with deeper feelings for you. Feelings that they’re not quite ready to handle or express openly yet.

That’s why you should keep an eye out for these unexpected, out-of-the-blue moments of warmth and tenderness. They could be revealing more than you think!

2) They open up in small, rare moments

In my experience, when someone who’s usually emotionally unavailable starts to open up, even in tiny doses, it can feel monumental.

We might be having a casual conversation, and suddenly they’ll share something personal — a glimpse into their thoughts or past.

Perhaps not surprisingly, it’s these rare, unexpected moments that hint at deeper feelings.

Let’s not overlook these instances.

You see, for emotionally unavailable people, sharing personal details can feel like standing naked in a crowd. They fear vulnerability, often due to past hurts or fears of rejection.

So, guess what?

This subtle opening up is their way of letting you into a space they usually keep locked away.

3) They make an effort to understand you

There’s something raw and honest about the moment an emotionally unavailable person begins to make a genuine effort to understand you.

You see, it’s like a ray of light breaking through a long-standing barrier.

For example, imagine you’re sharing your passion for art, something they’ve never shown interest in before. Suddenly, they’re asking questions, genuinely curious, trying to see the world through your eyes.

This shift, from indifference to empathy, is profound.

It speaks volumes about their feelings for you, quietly revealing a depth of care and interest that might have been hidden before.

This effort, subtle yet significant, is their way of saying, “I’m here, and I want to connect with you on a deeper level.”

4) They’re protective of you

Now, I don’t mean this in an overbearing or controlling way.

That’s a whole different game.

No, what I’m referring to is a subtle, almost instinctive, need to ensure your well-being.

Have you ever noticed that the emotionally unavailable person in your life seems particularly alert when it comes to your safety or happiness?

They might offer to walk you home late at night, or they’re the first to rush to your aid when you’re in a pickle.

Either way, their usual emotional walls might prevent them from expressing how much they care about you directly.

Still, their protective nature could be a sign that they actually care a lot more than they let on.

Isn’t it curious how actions can speak louder than words? And what’s more, don’t these actions make you wonder what else lies beneath their guarded exterior?

5) They remember the little things

Couple drinking coffee 7 signs an emotionally unavailable person has deep feelings for you, according to psychology

I bet you’ve noticed that when we care deeply about someone, we tend to remember even the smallest details about them.

This holds true even for those who are emotionally unavailable.

But ever wondered what this has to do with an emotionally unavailable person having feelings for you?

Well, let’s say they remember your coffee order by heart or the name of your childhood pet that you mentioned once in passing. It might seem insignificant, but it’s far from it.

These small memories are not just signs of a good memory. They’re indications that this person cares enough to keep track of the little things that matter to you.

Despite their emotional unavailability, this attention to detail can be a subtle hint that they harbor deeper feelings for you.

So, here’s the thing:

If you notice that they remember your coffee order or the name of your childhood pet that you mentioned just once, it’s a significant sign.

These small memories are more than just signs of a good memory; they indicate that this person is paying close attention to you.

It’s these little things, remembered and recalled, that subtly reveal their genuine interest and care.

6) They’re there in times of crisis

I remember a time when I was going through a particularly rough patch in my life. My emotionally unavailable friend, who was usually reserved and distant, surprised me.

Despite his usual demeanor, during this crisis, he was there.

Look, he didn’t offer big gestures of support or profound words of wisdom. But, his steady presence provided a sense of comfort and stability I desperately needed.

When I think of this moment, I realize one thing:

Emotionally unavailable people may not be the best at expressing their feelings or offering emotional support in the conventional way.

However, when they genuinely care about you, they’ll make it a point to be there for you in your time of need.

Consider it as their way of saying, “I’m here for you,” without actually saying it. And this silent support can be a clear sign that their feelings for you run deeper than what’s on the surface.

7) They show signs of jealousy

Believe it or not, jealousy isn’t always a toxic trait.

Sometimes, it’s a natural response when we see someone we care about getting close to others.

If an emotionally unavailable person has deep feelings for you, they might show signs of jealousy when you spend time with others. They could become distant, moody, or even slightly possessive.

But trust me, this isn’t about control.

It’s an internal struggle they’re experiencing because they care about you, but don’t quite know how to handle or express these feelings.

This subtle hint of jealousy could be their unconscious way of saying they wish they were the ones you were spending time with. It’s a clear indicator that beneath their aloof exterior, there are deeper emotions at play.

Final thoughts

We’ve journeyed through the subtle signs of an emotionally unavailable person having deep feelings for you. It’s been an eye-opener, hasn’t it?

But remember this, understanding someone else’s feelings can be as complex as comprehending the universe. It’s a quest filled with uncertainties, surprises, and revelations.

Recognizing these signs is just the beginning. What matters is what you choose to do with this understanding.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I see these signs in someone I know?
  • Are these feelings mutual?
  • Is this relationship contributing positively to my life?

The thing is that everyone expresses their feelings differently. And emotional unavailability doesn’t mean the incapability of love or affection. It’s just a different language of expressing it.

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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